Worst Review of ST so far

[Admiral Buzzkill]

I really can't believe that anyone thinks she's serious. Anyone.

 

[M'Sharak]

You think that's a serious review?

The problem is that she forgot the funny.

Oh, I don't know. This made me chuckle:

Spock is played by television actor Zachary Quinto. Although he’s really just a Japanese elf, the movie says he’s a ‘Vulcan’ (this way no one has to give any money to Orlando Bloom from Lord of the Rings, I think).

Of course, it's early. I might not think it as amusing later.

 

[barnaclelapse]

Her About page:

Facts:
I was born in Malibu, California.
I was a successful tween model for a few years.
In school, I was voted best smile.
I took some acting classes before, but the teacher was English and thought he was all that. La-me.
My heros are my parents, poor people who work hard or win a lottery and can live the American dream, famous women who struggled and did important things and made a difference.
Why the Blog?
I grew up being told by my parents and teachers and friends that there was something special about me, that I would go on to do big things. So here I am! I have decided that I want to be a writer because I think I have a unique perspective on things (a young, hip perspective from today’s generation) and can offer intelligent things to be read.
I call it Valerie Atherton’s Playground and Intellectual Department! Why? Because sometimes it’ll be silly like playing at a playground and sometimes it’ll make you stop and think about stuff.
xo -Val

If it's for real... damned scary.


If it's fake... not bringing the funni.

Exactly.

I get it. It's that whole Borat thing where someone pretends to be an extreme version of something in order to evoke strong reactions from people.

I get it, and it wasn't terribly funny when he did it either.

 

[Locutus of Bored]

Tough crowd, I guess. I thought it was cute, harmless humor from someone playing dumb but making some witty comments in the process.

I mean, it's certainly not the funniest review I've ever read and it's mostly forgettable, but it got some chuckles out of me, and usually only completely serious but insanely wrongheaded political blogs manage to do that.

I'm baffled that anyone is still taking that at all seriously even after the joke has been pointed out to you.

 

[Flagius]

Tough crowd, I guess. I thought it was cute, harmless humor from someone playing dumb but making some witty comments in the process.

I mean, it's certainly not the funniest review I've ever read and it's mostly forgettable, but it got some chuckles out of me, and usually only completely serious but insanely wrongheaded political blogs manage to do that.

I'm baffled that anyone is still taking that at all seriously even after the joke has been pointed out to you.

Nothing anyone does ever baffles me anymore. You see, I've seen T3. The horror... The Horror...

 

[Australis]

And I've heard poeple say similar things in the past about other movies, and been dead serious.

Having said that, after reading the QoS review, I got the joke. It's not real funny, but I got it. I see where she's coming from, but for a person to get zero recognition of these cultural icons, they would have had to have spent waaaayyy too long staring into a mirror.

 

[donners22]

The bad guy is from a tattoo planet and travels through time drilling holes in planets so that they deflate because his wife died and he wants to find someone to blame.

I think it's funny that some people don't think this is a joke.

I thought it was an extract from the script.

 

[Ensign_Redshirt]

Quotes from the review of "Quantum of Solace":

I guess I never paid enough attention before, but the one thing Hollywood seems to like to do is create a series of movies (a trilogy) out of all of their successful characters. Batman’s a trilogy, Iron Man’s going to be one and now James Bond. But this isn’t the first time someone’s attempted to do James Bond. There was a James Bond TV show that was made for cable, but the commercials I’ve seen for it always made it look really bad and very cheaply done and it was always different actors playing the same part. Huh? It still plays on TV, but I don’t think they make new episodes anymore.

Mr. Craig’s Bond spends the whole movie just really pissed off. It’s no surprise that he doesn’t have any friends in the movie. The only person he talks to a lot is his mom, Em, a Britain woman whom I think is supposed to be the queen, but it’s never said for sure.

Oh, and the image of a dead nude woman painted head to toe in black oil seemed sort of racist. That’s the kind of stuff that people did in the Civil War days! I don’t know if any Britain countries even have black people, so it might just be that they don’t know any better, but it made me kind of uncomfortable, especially since there were black people in the theater when I saw it. I felt soooo bad for them.

http://valeriewriter.wordpress.com/2008/11/22/movie-review-quantum-of-solace/

 

[ITL]

Great stuff!

 

[Franklin]

Meh. The sad thing is there are so many journalists and writers who could've written a satirical "review" along those lines and made it truly witty, and they are losing their jobs as newspapers die a slow death.

 

[Jeri]

I just went in there to see the Chris Pine photo -- and am I glad I did. He's a monster of attraction!

 

[planetoid]

Just went back and noticed that she's actually listed on All Top. Wow.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

...for a person to get zero recognition of these cultural icons, they would have had to have spent waaaayyy too long staring into a mirror.

Which, as far as I can tell, is pretty exactly her adopted personna.

 

[cooleddie74]

She obviously has her head up her ass.

But...free country. Her right to think what she wants.

 

[TeknoNurd]

Valerie Atherton’s Playground and Intellectual Department

 

[planetoid]

Valerie Atherton’s Playground and Intellectual Department

????

 

[BriGuy]

I suspect it's a "legitimate" or "for real" review, just written by a teen-ager. I've seen teens who think and write like this. So it's "serious," just from a moronic point of view.

 

[milo bloom]

It's too spot on to be serious. It's like when Trey Parker and Matt Stone use South Park to take on Trek. You can tell they sorta like it because they don't just bash the fans or Shatner's acting, they dig in deep and make it part of the story. Remember the early S1 or S2 ep that was basically a lift of "Dagger of the Mind"?

I thought it was pretty funny, and actually managed to make some valid criticisms of Trek like:

The thing I thought was really cool was that the actors were sending a really amazing message of ‘different but the same’ by having everyone in the movie come from different planets. Chris Pine’s Jim Kirk is from an Earth-like planet called Iowa (You mean like the state? Exactly. Not much originality there,eh?), Zachary Quinto was from a planet of elves and Zoe Saldana is from a planet where everyone has a distinct color (she’s black, but her sister was all green).

.

You can take that as a critique of Trek's homogenous cultures (Klingons=warriors, Ferengi=angry gerbils, etc.)

Sometimes you folks are just a little too close to the subject matter (and of course humor is always subjective).

 

[adamisme]

Best Review Ever...that is all I have to say

 

[Praetor]

I just went in there to see the Chris Pine photo -- and am I glad I did. He's a monster of attraction!

Agreed. I say we let him and Quinto mud-wrestle for King Monster.

Valerie Atherton’s Playground and Intellectual Department

????

VAPID