Again, as I said we have no way of knowing the circumstances after the Ent-C returned to the battle. All we have is Sela's account, which (according to her) happened when she was a little girl. And I wouldn't trust Sela as far as I could throw her.
Yes, we don't know the exact circumstances but according to Ron Moore's "Redemption" audio commentary it's pretty obvious that Sela's account was intended by the producers to be genuine and accurate.
(I mean, seriously, in another TOS thread
Timo just wondered if we should take Vina's statements about the Talosians as accurate. There appears to be a general growing tendency to double-guess every protagonist's statement. We have no evidence whatsoever, that the Star Trek creators intended such and unnecessary ambiguity. To claim otherwise would be an extraordinary claim that would require extraordinary evidence, IMHO)
But even if we don't see every incident mentioned in dialogue visualized on screen, shouldn't we assume that the behaviour of certain protagonists would match what we've learned from previous onscreen depictions to arrive at palatable rationalizations?
In this particular case I'm unable to visualize an incompetent and bumbling Romulan intelligence. Whether breaking Starfleet Code 2 or knowing the senior officers of the
Enterprise in TOS was a testament to their efficient intelligence is unknown, but what we learned from TNG and beyond was that the Romulans do have an efficient intelligence and I'm certain it didn't just come into being overnight.
As for the Sela character backstory I still think it's one of the most interesting Star Trek riddles.
- How did Sela know that her mother Tasha had been sent by Picard from the future? Did Tasha tell her when Sela was 4 years old but why?
- Is that something Sela learned from her father after Tasha had been caught? Then how did her father knew and why didn't he hand Tasha over to the Tal Shiar?
Assuming the latter case is correct, then Sela must have been traumatized: Instead of being turned over to the Tal Shiar, Tasha somehow got executed to have a fast and quick death (hopefully). Theoretically little Sela should have turned her father in, too, for high treason but that would have left that little "bastard" girl orphaned with no more daddy to care for and protect her.
I'm not a psychologist but I think that's the "recipe" for a disturbed and twisted character growing up among the Romulans.
In her particular case, of course, it was mommy's action that wreaked havoc with what 4 year old Sela considered a perfect childhood. Sela later puts all the blame on her mother but somehow she knows that's not really appropriate. And worse for her - Picard seems to be every moment a step ahead of her already understanding while she is still in denial. Again, one of the greatest TNG scenes - IMHO - and top notch acting by Densise Crosby.

(and , of course, Patrick Stewart, too)
Bob