Why is liking Trek a "nerdy" thing?

[Sector 7]

I was watching one of the many dating shows on MTV (the one where the person's parents are with you) and a chick turned down a guy just because he liked Star Trek and told him it was "nerdy." I'm like, that's a dumb reason, he could of been a great guy for that girl.

I know someone who is dating a girl who likes Star Trek and he doesn't think anything like that of her, so why are some people like this?

Trek is long-lasting franchise with many fans and is quite possibly one of the best things to watch on TV (of course, next to Smallville & Supernatural ) just because someone likes Star Trek is not a reason to turn them down on a date, unless they hate the show themselves, I say.

First, what are you doing watching any of those beyond ridiculous dating shows on MTV? I won't even be in the same room with my wife when MTV is on it's so offensive.

I really don't know why you're surprised, though. All of those shows have nothing but completely superficial, borderline retarded wanna-be starlets, anyway. I mean haven't you noticed on that show that all of the lines are scripted and these cocker spaniels are a step below pornstars when trying to act?

Now, on the other side of the glaringly obvious, I come from the perspective that I wasn't a Trek fan until I was 21 (eleven years ago). I liked the show and would occasionally sit in front of the TV and catch a complete episode but I was never a die-hard. I was into sports and girls. Let's be frank about this. Most young guys who are into Trek have been into Trek their whole lives because it's a form of escapism that they share with their other nerdy, outcast bretheren. I have no problem with that though because I was always one of those guys that was in the middle. I was friends with the popular kids and the less than popular kids. If people are good people, then they are good people. I dated a lot of girls and a girl was actually the reason I got into Star Trek. To make a long story short, no she wasn't a Trek fan but I wound up getting into Trek as an escape myself after having split up with her.

That being said, between 1997 and 1998 I was immersed in Trek and became a huge fan, but I was smart enough to keep it to myself until the time was right. Game show or not, you don't come out with, "I'm a big Star Trek fan," on the first date. Like it or not, Star Trek, despite the stigma being a nerd thing, it's a nerd thing that's also primarily a guy thing. So a good way to keep from getting laid (or even getting a second date) is to bring up your fandom to a young hottie. Even the most understanding and open-minded young women are going to be put off by scifi fandom brought up on the first date.

They don't understand it and that's OK because there a lot of things I don't understand and there a lot of things I don't need to know on a first date like a girl having a history of yeast infections or -- and for some reason, girls think that they need to tell me this on a first date-- their "date rape" experience when they were in college. My theory was, a girl would find out that I was a Trek fan when and only when she was back in my apartment, naked and saw all of the Trek memorabila on my walls and shelves (or I had gotten to know her really well, whichever came first ).

What I've noticed from scifi geeks and Trek geeks in particular (just watch either one of the Trekkies films) is a bit of arrogance from Trek fans in that they feel that everyone should just automatically accept scifi fandom and that it's a character flaw if they don't. Hell, my wife isn't a Star Trek fan whatsoever. She only tolerates Enterprise for 3 reasons 1.) Scott Bakula 2.) "The Blue People" (she finds them soothing) 3.) The theme song and the show put her to sleep. She has no idea what's going on. That doesn't make her any less of a good person.

What I don't think these uber-Trek fans understand is that they are as guilty of the same sort of discrimination that they've claimed to be victims of by the "popular" people their whole lives. Ugly people do this too. They hate good looking people and assume the worst about them and their character simply because they aren't ugly.

That being said, as a young guy, you're freakin' stupid to tell a girl that you're a Star Trek fan without either getting her naked or getting to know her first. All you're doing is asking for rejection and it would seem to me that if you're bringing up Star Trek to a girl who didn't bring it up first date, you must want to be alone.

Yeah, he could have been a great guy but he blew it and now she'll never know. Not for nothing, it's one thing to be a Trek fan and another to tell a chick on a first date. Everything you do on a first date is met with scrutiny and most women would say that if a guy is too dumb to keep that bit of information to himself, it's not a good harbinger. Why don't you just tell her that you're into Japanese porn while you're at it? These are the type of things that should come up after a high level of comfort has been established. A girl needs to know that you're a great guy before she finds out that you're a Trek fan.

Also, he could have been a complete jerk, too. You seem to assume that he was a great guy just because he was a Star Trek fan. Just read some of the posts on this board and you know that being a Trek fan doesn't automatically make someone a great guy.

I'm out.

-Shawn

For someone criticizing, it appears that you have several issues of your own with which to deal.
I'm not sure why you feel the need to tell us how comfortable you are with yourself, while at the same time explaining your sexual adventures (insecurity perhaps?).
Geesh, and people think us gay guys have issues. I'd much rather get to know someone as a friend before worrying about sleeping with them. Then again, I've always been relationship oriented rather than promiscuous.
My best relationships (and longest lasting) were with other Star Trek (and generally sci-fi) fans. Probably because we had that in common as friends. Also probably the reason we remained friends after our relationships, too.
The best advice: Just be yourself. If they like you as yourself, it will last. If they like what you pretend to be, it won't last.

 

[Ptrope]

I believe the Trek fandom is the first to become widely known (by the general public) for obsessing over minutiae

It probably all spawned from the convention culture there is for star trek. The stereotypical trek fan was then thought of as some nerd who watches star trek in a starfleet uniform made by his mother with vulcan ears and learns klingon.

Yeah, we know the type: obsessing over every little detail, every character, constantly talking about their obsession, spending thousands of dollars on memorabilia and costumes, painting themselves weird colors, getting together with thousands of like-minded obsessed fans, spending hours in front of the TV talking about what they would've done in a situation during the action, forming groups that pretend they're actually running the show and gathering all their favorite characters to be on their teams ...

Yup: football fans ... the only difference is that they can get away with talking about it in public.

 

[Sector 7]

^Fascinating. Your logic is flawless.

 

[Nerys Ghemor]

YES. Especially with Fantasy Football. There are whole MAGAZINES dedicated to that.

What the hell IS it, anyway??

 

[Alidar Jarok]

For someone criticizing, it appears that you have several issues of your own with which to deal.
I'm not sure why you feel the need to tell us how comfortable you are with yourself, while at the same time explaining your sexual adventures (insecurity perhaps?).

Is this really necessary?

 

[CaptainHawk1]

I was watching one of the many dating shows on MTV (the one where the person's parents are with you) and a chick turned down a guy just because he liked Star Trek and told him it was "nerdy." I'm like, that's a dumb reason, he could of been a great guy for that girl.

I know someone who is dating a girl who likes Star Trek and he doesn't think anything like that of her, so why are some people like this?

Trek is long-lasting franchise with many fans and is quite possibly one of the best things to watch on TV (of course, next to Smallville & Supernatural ) just because someone likes Star Trek is not a reason to turn them down on a date, unless they hate the show themselves, I say.

First, what are you doing watching any of those beyond ridiculous dating shows on MTV? I won't even be in the same room with my wife when MTV is on it's so offensive.

I really don't know why you're surprised, though. All of those shows have nothing but completely superficial, borderline retarded wanna-be starlets, anyway. I mean haven't you noticed on that show that all of the lines are scripted and these cocker spaniels are a step below pornstars when trying to act?

Now, on the other side of the glaringly obvious, I come from the perspective that I wasn't a Trek fan until I was 21 (eleven years ago). I liked the show and would occasionally sit in front of the TV and catch a complete episode but I was never a die-hard. I was into sports and girls. Let's be frank about this. Most young guys who are into Trek have been into Trek their whole lives because it's a form of escapism that they share with their other nerdy, outcast bretheren. I have no problem with that though because I was always one of those guys that was in the middle. I was friends with the popular kids and the less than popular kids. If people are good people, then they are good people. I dated a lot of girls and a girl was actually the reason I got into Star Trek. To make a long story short, no she wasn't a Trek fan but I wound up getting into Trek as an escape myself after having split up with her.

That being said, between 1997 and 1998 I was immersed in Trek and became a huge fan, but I was smart enough to keep it to myself until the time was right. Game show or not, you don't come out with, "I'm a big Star Trek fan," on the first date. Like it or not, Star Trek, despite the stigma being a nerd thing, it's a nerd thing that's also primarily a guy thing. So a good way to keep from getting laid (or even getting a second date) is to bring up your fandom to a young hottie. Even the most understanding and open-minded young women are going to be put off by scifi fandom brought up on the first date.

They don't understand it and that's OK because there a lot of things I don't understand and there a lot of things I don't need to know on a first date like a girl having a history of yeast infections or -- and for some reason, girls think that they need to tell me this on a first date-- their "date rape" experience when they were in college. My theory was, a girl would find out that I was a Trek fan when and only when she was back in my apartment, naked and saw all of the Trek memorabila on my walls and shelves (or I had gotten to know her really well, whichever came first ).

What I've noticed from scifi geeks and Trek geeks in particular (just watch either one of the Trekkies films) is a bit of arrogance from Trek fans in that they feel that everyone should just automatically accept scifi fandom and that it's a character flaw if they don't. Hell, my wife isn't a Star Trek fan whatsoever. She only tolerates Enterprise for 3 reasons 1.) Scott Bakula 2.) "The Blue People" (she finds them soothing) 3.) The theme song and the show put her to sleep. She has no idea what's going on. That doesn't make her any less of a good person.

What I don't think these uber-Trek fans understand is that they are as guilty of the same sort of discrimination that they've claimed to be victims of by the "popular" people their whole lives. Ugly people do this too. They hate good looking people and assume the worst about them and their character simply because they aren't ugly.

That being said, as a young guy, you're freakin' stupid to tell a girl that you're a Star Trek fan without either getting her naked or getting to know her first. All you're doing is asking for rejection and it would seem to me that if you're bringing up Star Trek to a girl who didn't bring it up first date, you must want to be alone.

Yeah, he could have been a great guy but he blew it and now she'll never know. Not for nothing, it's one thing to be a Trek fan and another to tell a chick on a first date. Everything you do on a first date is met with scrutiny and most women would say that if a guy is too dumb to keep that bit of information to himself, it's not a good harbinger. Why don't you just tell her that you're into Japanese porn while you're at it? These are the type of things that should come up after a high level of comfort has been established. A girl needs to know that you're a great guy before she finds out that you're a Trek fan.

Also, he could have been a complete jerk, too. You seem to assume that he was a great guy just because he was a Star Trek fan. Just read some of the posts on this board and you know that being a Trek fan doesn't automatically make someone a great guy.

I'm out.

-Shawn

For someone criticizing, it appears that you have several issues of your own with which to deal.

Yeah, Thanks, Dr. Phil. I didn't criticize a thing. I suggested that it's a bad idea to bring up being a Star Trek on the first date and I explained why and I explained it pretty well.

I'm not sure why you feel the need to tell us how comfortable you are with yourself

Try reading a post instead of scanning it for what you want to criticize. I never discussed how comfortable I was with myself, what I said was that when I was single I would never have been so stupid as to bring up being a Trek fan to a young lady without allowing them to get to know me first. That's cutting yourself off at the knees and not even giving yourself a chance to have a girl find out what a nice guy you are.

while at the same time explaining your sexual adventures (insecurity perhaps?).

Grow up. I didn't explain anything. I gave an anecdotal reference regarding my callow youth and I didn't take it any farther. Insecurity...hmmm... bizarre. Did you miss the part about me being married? Hey I've got a term for you. How about clichéd because you sound like every other gay guy on this board who call heterosexuals insecure with their sexuality. Again, grow up. What are you, 12?

Geesh, and people think us gay guys have issues.

Not all, just you. Particularly the need to announce that you're gay.

I'd much rather get to know someone as a friend before worrying about sleeping with them. Then again, I've always been relationship oriented rather than promiscuous.

And here's another area where it shows how reading an entire post may just be enlightening. The whole point was that with women in general, as a heterosexual male, you'll never get to know them by bringing up Star Trek (or any of the other controversial topics I noted! READ THE POST!!!) because the fact is that the first thing on the mind of a heterosexual male between the age of 18 and 22 (even if they are looking for a relationship) is getting into a girl's pants and girls know this and are looking for any reason to not accept them.

My best relationships (and longest lasting) were with other Star Trek (and generally sci-fi) fans. Probably because we had that in common as friends. Also probably the reason we remained friends after our relationships, too.

That's because you're a guy. As noted, Star Trek isn't just a geek thing, it's a guy thing, primarily. Your frame of reference is other guys. You speak on what you have no experience and for some reason you believe that your homosexual relationships and experience gives you some insight into heterosexual relationships and women. Despite what Sex and the City may tell everyone, it doesn't. You don't know what you're talking about. Sorry.

As for long term relationships, well, I've been married for 4 years, I have a two-year-old daughter and another child on the way. That didn't just instantly happen. I had several long term relationships before and was engaged to another woman long before I ever met my wife. My advice is solid and based on experience. If people want to listen to it, fine, if they don't fine. It's my opinion and unlike you I didn't personally attack anyone because I didn't like their opinion.

The best advice: Just be yourself. If they like you as yourself, it will last. If they like what you pretend to be, it won't last.

That's right. For all you heterosexual males out there, go with his advice. See how that works for you. And just keep reminding yourself that you're taking advice about women from a gay guy.

It's not a matter of pretending to be someone you're not, it's a matter of not allowing your ego to get in the way of a potential relationship and keeping controversial topics to a minimum. Being a Star Trek fan has nothing to do with being yourself. I don't know about the rest of you but as much as I love Star Trek, being a fan doesn't define me as a person. Being a good person, husband and a good father defines me. What your values are should define you, not Star Trek.

-Shawn

 

[Balthier the Great]

I didn't see the show, but I have a feeling that his trek fandom would have been much less of a big deal if it had been part of a list of thing that he liked to do. I like a lot of crazy stuff. I swim, I fence, I like computer games, I'm studying to be an LPTA, I like sports on TV (except golf -- it puts me to sleep), and I like Trek. That might be nerdy, but at least I'm not a one trick pony. I think saying it like that wouldn't have scared off "Hot Chick" nearly so much as the guy aparently liking Trek and very little else.

 

[CaptainHawk1]

I didn't see the show, but I have a feeling that his trek fandom would have been much less of a big deal if it had been part of a list of thing that he liked to do. I like a lot of crazy stuff. I swim, I fence, I like computer games, I'm studying to be an LPTA, I like sports on TV (except golf -- it puts me to sleep), and I like Trek. That might be nerdy, but at least I'm not a one trick pony. I think saying it like that wouldn't have scared off "Hot Chick" nearly so much as the guy aparently liking Trek and very little else.

Brilliant point and without seeing it myself but knowing how Trek fans tend to wear that shit like a badge of honor to the exclusion of all else, it certanly wouldn't surprise me if he made it seem like it was his only interest.

Another thing too, that I hadn't thought of until just now is why was he on this show to begin with. I'm quite familiar with the reality/game show scene having been a participant on more than one occasion and how it's basically turned into nothing more than an outlet for every wannabe star out there. For a show like that, that's all you're in it for. You just want your 15 miutes of fame so that your're noticed for other reality shows. So what does that say about our decent, nice guy of a Star trek fan? Not for nothing, that show that he was on is one of the most vile on MTV and that's saying a lot.

Just something to think about.

-Shawn

 

[Starbreaker]

I think other stuff is nerdy. I can't stand Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Anime for instance. It's just all about what your tastes are. I dated a girl one time who said she didn't like to watch or read anything that couldn't actually happen. It's called not having an imagination - I didn't find that out quickly enough.

 

[Sector 7]

For someone criticizing, it appears that you have several issues of your own with which to deal.
I'm not sure why you feel the need to tell us how comfortable you are with yourself, while at the same time explaining your sexual adventures (insecurity perhaps?).

Is this really necessary?

Based on his latest drivel... I think so. But I shall refrain from further contact out of respect for you. I won't come back to this thread. Besides his homophobic rant tells more about him than I ever could.

 

[CaptainHawk1]

For someone criticizing, it appears that you have several issues of your own with which to deal.
I'm not sure why you feel the need to tell us how comfortable you are with yourself, while at the same time explaining your sexual adventures (insecurity perhaps?).

Is this really necessary?

Based on his latest drivel... I think so. But I shall refrain from further contact out of respect for you. I won't come back to this thread. Besides his homophobic rant tells more about him than I ever could.

WOW, I haven't been here for a while. Why don't you try backing that shit up instead of just blatantly flaming me and accusing me of being homophobic. What exactly did I say that implies that I have any fear of homosexuals?

-Shawn

 

[mimi2two49]

I've been married 13 years. My husband writes poems about me and my interest in Startrek. Do you think he might be a nerd too?

 

[kissthestar]

I remember back in the day, when ST fandom was mostly female. Then the criticism was that the fans were infatuated with the male leads. I think ST fans have a reputation for nerdiness because our interest does not involve actual violence in some form.

 

[pookha]

I remember back in the day, when ST fandom was mostly female. Then the criticism was that the fans were infatuated with the male leads. I think ST fans have a reputation for nerdiness because our interest does not involve actual violence in some form.

yeah i also remember that.
and looking around the board there still are a lot of females involved in trek fandom.

heck trek was given the credit back in the 60's of bringing even more women into sf fandom.

heck if i was meeting a guy i would rather know he was a fan up front.
and then i would admit that i have been a fan a football even though i am a woman.