First even if you consider him annoying. Neelix is annoying stupid, there's never anything he says or does that has any depth in it, it's all dumber than shit when you oppose that to the doctors refined tastes and his wit, I'll take the latter without hesitation even if he was TWICE as annoying as the former and that is not physically possible.
What exactly about EMH do you find "refined"? His novel is on the same level as trashy self-insert fanfaction and his opera singing is just something he adopted so that people would admire him.
The EMH seems to me like a person who "thinks" they are refined and witty and uses every opportunity to try to prove that to others. Which, yes, I find twice as annoying than Neelix who is just a bumbling idiot, but one with a big heart.
Second your description of the examples you give is beyond biased:
Of course it's biased, it's my interpretation. And anyway you are one to call out others about being "biased"? Really?
(Btw, "fellating"? Tsk, tsk!)
I find it a fit description. Aren't we all too mature to be distracted by a word like that?
1) He let B'Lana turn his "Stepford family" into a living nightmare and he stuck with it as much as humanely possible. I mean I know that B'Lana is an angry bitter sort but what she did to the doctor there was completely uncalled for.
No it wasn't the EMH needs to be yanked down from his ivory tower every now and then. Harsh criticism is often the best. And if I wanted to be mean I could say he let B'
Elan
na reprogram his stepford smilers because he wanted to prove that he is so great, nothing that B'Elanna could trhow at him could break his stride.
The way he programmed the family, just like his novel, just shows how he sees other people, as beings that are there to admire him.
2) He had fantasies about being a hero and saving the ship or in this case Tuvok from a bad case of Pon Far. The whole scene was funny as hell and very well done. I'll take ten scenes like that over one with Neelix as the center of attention.
It was well acted I give you that, but to me the EMH's smuggness about the whole thing just ruined it all. Again everybody is just there to admire him, it's all he cares about.
Neelix also craves attention but he is shown as capable of caring about others as well, Naomi for instance.
3) and here is where you get REALLY unfair. The doctor was upset because his duties imposed that he let someone die and the choice he made about whom was going to die, tormented him!!
No he was upset that he saved Harry rather than the other patient, he was upset that he, the perfect pinnacle of creation had chosen the life a person he had a closer relationship with over the life of someone he was less familiar with. And they didn't have to erase Tasha from the Enterprise records because Dr. Crusher had a meltdown abut not being able to safe her.