Who invented Khan?

[Tootai]

The official story goes, that Gene Roddenberry made a frantic December 13th revision, where the character of Khan was first introduced:

https://www.startrek.com/en-un/news/guest-blog-the-evolution-of-space-seed-part-3

“Who can rescue this script and episode, now just 8 days from filming?”

“Gene Roddenberry, of course. It will be Roddenberry who fixes the final version of “Space Seed” without credit. Handwritten notes show that Roddenberry had some interesting ideas he wanted to add to the script that unfortunately were not included in the final result. One that is especially intriguing is the idea that Khan would have a problem with Spock because interspecies mating “might sully the human race.” This would have been an especially fascinating theme in “Space Seed” if it had been used, especially considering it is Spock who ultimately defeats Khan’s plans in Nicholas Meyer’s Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan.”

I recently acquired a revised final draft from December 12th with all blue pages, and it already has Khan. The only mention of Ericssen, the Nordic superman, is on the cast list that reminds to change all mentions of him to Khan. The 12/12 script has only mentions of Khan (sometimes misspelled Kahn). This draft is credited to the original author Wilber and Coon. The 12/13 revision changes this up to Roddenberry and Coon.

The 12/12 draft seems to have all the pieces in place regarding Khan before Roddenberry put his name on the script. Without seeing the 12/13 script, it’s hard to say what he fixed at the last moment.

 

[Christopher]

Interesting. Of course, it could be that Roddenberry came up with the Khan name and instructed Coon verbally to change it in his draft, in which case there'd be no written record of it. So there's no way to know for sure.

Anyway, I think the answer to the title question would still end up being "Carey Wilber," since he created the original version of the character, and Coon and Roddenberry revised the specifics while keeping the fundamentals of Wilber's premise. It was a collaborative process, but it began with Wilber.

 

[LAFR]

I Khan't recall.

 

[Maurice]

I don't have time to go through all the docs we have for this, but a Dec. 13, 1966 memo from Justman to Roddenberry indicates that the former felt that the latter saved the day and made the script shootable. To wit:

Dear Gene:

I am in receipt of revised Final Draft of “SPACE SEED”. dated December 12, 1966. Before I go any further, I would like to state that I find it nigh incredible that you managed to do this complete a rewrite in the space of one single night. And I find it practically astounding that you have managed to clean up the story and straight-line it into its present shootable condition.

…and at the end…

Incidentally, this was one hell of a rewrite! But don’t let it go to your head.

 

[Maurice]

A few other notes…

A Dec. 13, 1966 de Forest Research contains a few interesting tidbits.

It mentions the name "Thorwald" was vestigially present in the cast list but not the script, and notes on the name:

For any future reference, this name is not clear, it is a character name from the motion picture, "The Vikings."

It also points out the Sikh hair/beard issue that got ignored:

A Sikh probably. A “Sikh” is a member of the Sikh religion, not a racial type, any more than a Roman Catholic is a racial type. They are distinguishable physically only because one of the tenets of their religion is that men do not shave or cut their hair.

Finally, as to Khan's name, they pointed out the Sikh Singh thing which resulted in the final name, if not accurate, as they dropped Sibahl from the front and appended Singh to the end:

Sibahl Khan Noonien – This name is not Sikh or Indian in form. “Khan” is a Mongol title which has found its way into some Muslim names in India and Pakistan. For proper name suggest: Govind Bahadur Singh. All Sikhs use the name Singh after their own sir name.

 

[Ragitsu]

The first Khan artist.

 

[Christopher]

It's weird that they just straight-up ignored de Forest's notes about Khan's name and ethnicity. I mean, I can understand deciding that the needs of the story outweigh accuracy, which happened frequently, but what need was met by ignoring the notes in this case?

Did de Forest point out that it should be Alpha Ceti instead of Ceti Alpha?

 

[Maurice]

It's weird that they just straight-up ignored de Forest's notes about Khan's name and ethnicity. I mean, I can understand deciding that the needs of the story outweigh accuracy, which happened frequently, but what need was met by ignoring the notes in this case?

Did de Forest point out that it should be Alpha Ceti instead of Ceti Alpha?

At this point the script they reviewed referred to Ceti II, and they griped about that.

 

[Tootai]

It's weird that they just straight-up ignored de Forest's notes about Khan's name and ethnicity. I mean, I can understand deciding that the needs of the story outweigh accuracy, which happened frequently, but what need was met by ignoring the notes in this case?

I think Roddenberry insisted because he wanted to name him Noonien to reach his lost friend. Kind of bizarre.

 

[Tootai]

I don't have time to go through all the docs we have for this, but a Dec. 13, 1966 memo from Justman to Roddenberry indicates that the former felt that the latter saved the day and made the script shootable. To wit:



…and at the end…

Thanks, good information! Maybe I just can't see what wonders the rewrite did without reading Gene's script. Is it available somewhere?

 

[Tootai]

I don't have time to go through all the docs we have for this, but a Dec. 13, 1966 memo from Justman to Roddenberry indicates that the former felt that the latter saved the day and made the script shootable. To wit:



…and at the end…

Is Roddenberry getting credit here for the Coon 12/12 script or his 12/13 rewrite?

 

[Christopher]

I think Roddenberry insisted because he wanted to name him Noonien to reach his lost friend. Kind of bizarre.

Sure, and maybe they didn't want to hide Montalban's famous Latin-lover countenance under a Sikh beard and turban. But then they could've just struck the line from the script about Marla somehow recognizing him as a Sikh.

Anyway, the story about Roddenberry wanting to catch his friend Noonien's attention is a bit odd, considering that Khan is only addressed by his full name twice in the episode. If that had really been the goal, wouldn't it have worked better to make it the primary name he was addressed by? ("Noonieeeeennnnn!!!!")

 

[Tootai]

According to Memory Alpha, the timeline is this:

• Story outline "Botany Bay" by Carey Wilber: 29 August 1966
• Revised story outline "Space Seed": 1 September 1966
• First draft teleplay by Wilber: 26 October 1966
• Second draft teleplay: early-December 1966
• Revised teleplay by Gene L. Coon: 7 December 1966
• Final draft teleplay by Coon: 9 December 1966
• Revised final draft teleplay: 12 December 1966
• Second revised final draft teleplay by Gene Roddenberry: 13 December 1966

 

[Shawnster]

Makes me want to see what the initial story idea was. If it was so terrible that it was incredible Roddenberry polished the turd into one of the best episodes, I'm really curious to see where the story started and how it progressed.

 

[Christopher]

Makes me want to see what the initial story idea was. If it was so terrible that it was incredible Roddenberry polished the turd into one of the best episodes, I'm really curious to see where the story started and how it progressed.

If the idea hadn't been good, they wouldn't have bought it in the first place. But it's often hard to figure out the details of making an idea work as a complete story, particularly one that fits within the time slot and budget and serves the characters well.

 

[Maurice]

Is Roddenberry getting credit here for the Coon 12/12 script or his 12/13 rewrite?

Why would the Bird get credit for Coon's script? The memo is pretty explicit that Justman believed it was Bird's handiwork.

 

[Maurice]

Makes me want to see what the initial story idea was. If it was so terrible that it was incredible Roddenberry polished the turd into one of the best episodes, I'm really curious to see where the story started and how it progressed.

We don't yet have all the folders for "Space Seed" (the initial focus was on memos and letters and not on script materials), so I can't compare the drafts, but from the memos it's clear the staff had a lot of issues with the character portrayals, some of the story logic, and the budget, etc. Apparently, in Justman's eyes, Roddenberry's rewrite fixed these issues in a way that made the script shootable.

 

[Tootai]

Why would the Bird get credit for Coon's script? The memo is pretty explicit that Justman believed it was Bird's handiwork.

I'm just a little confused, he mentions the Coon 12/12 script but also praises his quick rewrite which has to refer to the 12/13 script credited to Roddenberry.

 

[Tootai]

Here are some pics of my script.

 

[Tootai]

During filming someone rewrote the end of Act 1 on December 19th. Picture from an auctioned copy of 12/13 that supposedly belonged to Morris Chapnick, but my copy is identical.