There were signs of it here and there... the gray hairs coming in is usually the first. You get those before you feel any body changes. My hair is medium brown, so they hide pretty well... I mean *hid* pretty well. I'm not really vain, but did start using the "get the gray out" stuff, because I don't want to appear older than I feel (for dating and job hunting purposes). Then there's that "spare tire" that wants to settle down around your waist, even though you work out. And finding yourself taking long to recover from sore muscles. Wrinkles at the sides of the eyes can be a prominent sign, but I've also known people to get them in their 30's, so it's not much of a warning that you're nearing AARP territory. Speaking of which, getting an AARP application in the mail is another sign!
I'm going to turn 50 next year. Ahhhh! It sounds so bizarre, so unreal, so... disappointing. I'm not where I planned to be at this age. I went to get a hair cut the other day, and noticed I'm thinning a little on the back of my head. That shocked me, made me feel old. I have a bit of a receding hairline up front, but nothing dramatic.
When telling people my age, they'd usually brush it off and ask for my *real* age. Having them guess would usually put it 8-10 years behind me. So, last week I met someone who asked me if I'm in my late 40's, that surprised me. Another "man, I'm getting that 'old' feeling."
I don't feel myself getting older, actually. And if I was married, it would matter even less. I feel fine. I'm in pretty darned good shape. But... when thinking to myself that in a little more than a decade from now, I'll be
60, it just doesn't feel right. When you have that upside of the curve to middle age before you for so many years, then suddenly find yourself coming down the back side, it's quite sobering. It makes you realize just how precious time is... and darn it, why couldn't I see it that way 20 years ago?