Every year, we go to the Indian Reservation Casinos north of our City, and ask around to see if any Native Americans want to play reenacators for a day. Some who have joined us before are excited, and jump at the chance. We pay them in wampum, of course, and they pack up their native homes ("Tee-Pees") and daily wear costumes, and after the bargain is struck, we bring them back to our house. For the Special Day, We, naturally, are dressed as Pilgrims, and the ladies especially love the long dresses and the challenge that is to come; that of preparing the Feast.
We send the Natives out into the Forest Preserves near our house. We have lots, with trees and everything, just like they are used to. They use their Indian cunning to catch all manner of beasts for our Feast. Turkey, pidgeon, grouse, mice, etc. Some even are pretty darned good at fish catching.
So the Hunters bring back the catch to be cleaned and dressed and cooked by the ladies. Lots of chattering and laughter ensues, as the ladies are in their natural element, and are very happy. We men folk sit and smoke our authentic colonial pipes and palaver about a whole lot of nothing. Our good Native American friends reassemble their Natural Homes, and then loiter around the perimeter, waiting for the cue for their big scene. Soon the air is full of indescribable smells, and the pealing, happy voices of the excited children who have been off at the Mall.
The Women set up the Feast behind the Sears Shed in back, and the Native Americans each grab a plate for the Grand Procession, just like in the Oldene Dayse, when the first ever Indians brought a feast to the poor starving colonists, so they would not die that one cold winter, and could live to one day screw the Indians inside-out over the land they used to inhabit, but not any more.
Everyone is smiling (almost everyone) and after the plates are put down on the authentic hardwood tables, borrowed from the Forest Preserve, the Natives cross their arms across their chests, and then give the universal "Peace" sign and say "How" (much)?
Everyone (almost everyone) claps with delight, and we give the Indians some extra money for McDonalds, for their trip back to their authentic homes on the Reservation. Turns out they really prefer the taste of "Faster Foods" than the home-cooked healthy ones. Who knew? Good News for us, because there is no time to waste, and we are really hungry.
After the Feast, as the woman are clearing the tables and washing the dishes, we men retire with some special port and cigars, and give thanks for all we have, and for our Authentic Friends. We feel real good helping them remember their traditions, and also giving them a couple of bucks, as the Casino business is a little dry, lately.
