Make the Time War actually relevant. 1. Use it to explain away the technology advances. 2. Actually have the villains have a personality. 3. Have it resolved in a big dramatic way. A few other changes: 1. Earth has never met any aliens other than Vulcans at the start of the story. The Klingon is the second alien they have ever met. Pholx is the third and the crew is stunned they just have him show up one day. 2. Give them shields because that's not the thing you want to cop out on. 3. Sketch out the politics of the region with the Andorians, Tellarites, and Vulcans being the superpowers of the region--have the storyline be in the background about them joining forces against the Klingons and the Romulans. 4. No Borg, no Ferengi. Have the Tellarites be the greedy trader people.