And I will state again, are you prepared to arrest essentially a full half of the people in a community? Because that's about the number of people who either participated in prolonged psychological and physical abuse of me, or else turned a blind eye and "stood on the side lines allowing it to happen". So yes, sure, spit and hiss and throw rocks at these particular people all you will, but its a great mass of society that behaves in this way and unless you're prepared to charge all of them, you're being hypocritical. The problem does not lie in any one particular individual to be pulled out and pointed at and distanced from the group. The ideologies and behaviours and attitudes that were responsible for this person's suicide are strung throughout society, enforced and supported by a great number of people. Society needs to police itself and examine itself, not do the usual trick of pulling out a few people to condemn as "excuses for a human being" or whatever other phrases of this sort you have stored away. Again, it's the usual trick of "close ranks, find the outsider, attack them, condemn them, then everything's better". You're not dealing with the problem, just magicking it away by dumping the full weight of collective responsibility on a few individuals who embodied the attitudes in this individual case. Brushing your hands of them after this grand scapegoating won't help anyone else, will it? It'll in fact make it worse, because as far as most people are concerned "case closed, justice done. Problem identified: these three people. Problem neutralized. Happy ending". And nothing will change. Indeed, it will only become an issue again the next time some worthy victim kills themselves and society experiences the loss of esteem that motivates the instinct to scapegoat and attack. Abuse will be allowed to continue daily, as it did for me, and only become an issue when something snaps (ie, young female kills herself- we don't like that) and society hastily needs it fixed back on; in which case they quickly suddenly make an issue of it to support their sudden discomfort, before pointing the finger, excersing their "justice" (the attack on the designated individual outsiders) and then settling back down into the routine.
Oh, but I guess my experiences are just "school-yard messing about", "being bullied once in a while" or whatever you want to call it to try and justify some idea of how it's different...
My point is that individual self-analysis and responsibility is indeed essential (and you seem to have done that, and concluded that there is nothing you need to do to self-improve in this regard because you reject the attitudes and ideologies that allow for this sort of thing anyway), but alongside this is a collective responsibility that means we can't just resolve our problems by dumping blame on particular individuals and wiping our hands of it. If people are going to support the social system that lets this sort of thing happen- which through my own experience I can say a great many of them do- they have responsibility too. I've never believed that responsibility stops at the self. We all have responsibility for one another, because we all function in a shared society. If someone wants to be a part of that society, they must take partial responsibility for the whole and everyone in it. You can't just "buy out" when it suits you. People turn their backs and be silent and condone, if not support, abusive behaviours all the time. The only reason people are making a fuss over this one is because the right sort of victim took it to the extreme conclusion and now everyone's uncomfortable over it. If they really want things to change, though, they have to do more than say "villains identified. Case closed" and walk off feeling satisfied.
