What is the difference between love and a crush?

[Kestra]

This essay was published in, I believe, a Dear Abby column. I don't think she wrote, I think it was submitted by one of her readers:

Infatuation is instant desire. It is one set of glands calling to another.

Love is a friendship that has caught fire. It takes root and grows, one day at a time.

Infatuation is marked by a feeling of insecurity. You are excited and eager, but not genuinely happy. There are nagging doubts, unanswered questions, little bits and places about your beloved that you would just as soon not examine too closely. It might spoil the dream.

Love is quiet understanding and the mature acceptance of imperfection. It is real. It gives you strength and grows beyond you to bolster your beloved. You are warmed by his/her presence even when he/she is away. Miles do not separate you. You want him/her nearer, but near or far, you know he/she is yours and you can wait.

Infatuation says, “We must get married right away! I can’t risk losing you!”

Love says, “Be patient. Do not panic. Plan your future with confidence.”

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you can admit it is difficult to be in one another’s company unless you are sure it will end in intimacy.

Love is the maturation of friendship. You must be friends before you can be lovers.

Infatuation lacks confidence. When he/she is away you wonder if he/she is cheating. Sometimes you check.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your beloved feels that also and makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will.

Love is an upper. It makes you look up. It makes you think up. It makes you a better person.
​

There are a lot of things I disagree with in this thread, but I'm singling this out because it's easier. Love doesn't always make you a better person, it can leave you with regret, and people who are impatient can be in love! Just to name a few things.

 

[RJDiogenes]

A crush is a seed. Love is a field of flowers.

 

[Emher]

I'd say crushes are the times I've been infatuated with a girl for a few weeks and then gotten over her.

Love is when I've been infatuated with girls, for months, even years and they've taken up a LOT of my thinking time. Their quirks, smiles, laughs and personalities.

Personally I've feel I've had loads of crushes, but I've only truly loved three girls. One was in the last year of HS, the second a friend of my sisters, and the third my ex.

 

[lurok]

No difference. Equally futile and unnecessary.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

I'd say crushes are the times I've been infatuated with a girl for a few weeks and then gotten over her.

Love is when I've been infatuated with girls, for months, even years and they've taken up a LOT of my thinking time. Their quirks, smiles, laughs and personalities.

Personally I've feel I've had loads of crushes, but I've only truly loved three girls. One was in the last year of HS, the second a friend of my sisters, and the third my ex.

That's what is unsettling though, not knowing if it's a crush or love. I'm talking about when it is returned, obviously the question is moot if the person doesn't return your feelings. But if it is returned how do you know it's not a crush that is going to burn out and messily?

Maybe other people don't have that issue but I tend to get over people very quickly. If I had a crush on someone I would wait for my own arc of wow-->INFATUATION--->meh to unfold before I did anything about it.

 

[trampledamage]

Maybe other people don't have that issue but I tend to get over people very quickly. If I had a crush on someone I would wait for my own arc of wow-->INFATUATION--->meh to unfold before I did anything about it.

I have this problem with normal relationships too - on first meeting someone I'll like them, think they're cool to be with but then after a while I'll find myself wanting to claw my eyes out everytime they start talking.

It's really annoying, especially at work - at the very least I wish it would happen more quickly so I don't make the mistake of volunteering to work on projects with them

 

[Mooch]

I don't think there's any difference physiologically or psychologically, love is just a crush that lasts a long time.

 

[Nowhere Man]

I have a hard time answering this question, but if I had to guess, i'd say love is not leaving him or her even though at the time you hate them. Of course you can't put up with everything that someone does, but if you love someone, you just love them. With a crush, you get those warm fuzzy feelings and you imagine a perfect life and everything is so unrealistic. I love my wife, but i'm not all " lovey dovey" as they say. If anything ever happens to her i'm upset. We fight and sometime I hate her guts, but she's the only person I got. She's not perfect, she's not really my ideal woman, but it's like the U2 lyric, "I can't live with or or without you". This is true, sometimes I don't want her around, but if I were to leave or her to leave, I would be devistated. I see girls all the time that I would love to hook up with and sometimes I fantasize about meeting someone new, but I'm married and I just cant throw all we've built away on some 19 year old college chick I think is hot or i'd like to bang.

If you want a better answer, I refer you to Mr. John Lennon, he seemed to have a better grip on what love is than me.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2GmVajkqLNU
Say what you want about Yoko Ono(I hate her), but that man loved her, that's for sure.

 

[Emher]

I'd say crushes are the times I've been infatuated with a girl for a few weeks and then gotten over her.

Love is when I've been infatuated with girls, for months, even years and they've taken up a LOT of my thinking time. Their quirks, smiles, laughs and personalities.

Personally I've feel I've had loads of crushes, but I've only truly loved three girls. One was in the last year of HS, the second a friend of my sisters, and the third my ex.

That's what is unsettling though, not knowing if it's a crush or love. I'm talking about when it is returned, obviously the question is moot if the person doesn't return your feelings. But if it is returned how do you know it's not a crush that is going to burn out and messily?

Maybe other people don't have that issue but I tend to get over people very quickly. If I had a crush on someone I would wait for my own arc of wow-->INFATUATION--->meh to unfold before I did anything about it.

Well, I did oversimplify my statement a bit. In truth, it's been different with all three girls. Only one of them was love at first sight, and the others I fell for after getting to know them.

In my case I've had such terrible luck most of the time with romance that whenever I find someone who likes me back, I'll be willing to give it a shot.

Love is not very predictable. It can be at first sight, or after a while. My parents have known each other for 32 years this past April 1st. They pretty much liked each other from the start. Four years later they where married and one year after that I was born. Three more kids, several hard times and many years later they're still very much in love and happy together. And that's just how it went for them.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

A crush is when I blush and fumble things; I lose the ability to create a sentence, I blurt out complete nonsense, I laugh unnecessarily and I play with my hair. Have been known to run away from 'a crush' to avoid this.

Love is when I think of what I could do to make that person happy; when I feel their despair and will do what I can to help, when seeing them makes me smile, when I feel that we are the only two people in the room even if surrounded by a crowd and when I cannot imagine the world without them in it. I run towards these people.

Friendship (to add another) is when you can turn up at a mates house in the middle of the night, they let you in, pay for the taxi, pour you a drink, listen to the rant, provide ciggies and a place to stay. Most excellent friendship is when they make you breakfast in the morning and let you borrow a spare pair of pants

 

[lurok]

^ nice definitions...

Friendship (to add another) is when you can turn up at a mates house in the middle of the night, they let you in, pay for the taxi, pour you a drink, listen to the rant, provide ciggies and a place to stay. Most excellent friendship is when they make you breakfast in the morning and let you borrow a spare pair of pants

And then there's FWB. Which can have element of (non-romantic) love with a soupcon of crush.

 

[K'Ehleyr]

^ nice definitions...

Friendship (to add another) is when you can turn up at a mates house in the middle of the night, they let you in, pay for the taxi, pour you a drink, listen to the rant, provide ciggies and a place to stay. Most excellent friendship is when they make you breakfast in the morning and let you borrow a spare pair of pants

And then there's FWB. Which can have element of (non-romantic) love with a soupcon of crush.

thank you

and is FWB from Big Bang Theory? If so *nods*

 

[lurok]

and is FWB from Big Bang Theory? If so *nods*

Absolutely (Sheldon is my idol)

 

[K'Ehleyr]

and is FWB from Big Bang Theory? If so *nods*

Absolutely (Sheldon is my idol)

Knock, knock, knock "Penny", Knock, knock, knock "Penny", Knock, knock, knock "Penny", ~ Son really loves it that I use that as his wake up call now

 

[lurok]

Knock, knock, knock "Penny", Knock, knock, knock "Penny", Knock, knock, knock "Penny", ~ Son really loves it that I use that as his wake up call now

How he must love you

 

[K'Ehleyr]

Knock, knock, knock "Penny", Knock, knock, knock "Penny", Knock, knock, knock "Penny", ~ Son really loves it that I use that as his wake up call now

How he must love you

From the look on his face when he emerges it doesn't come across like that
Love that series ~ I think Sheldon is the best comedy character created in ages.

We've only just got to his 'first date' and as much as I want to download and watch the rest I find the anticipation more rewarding ~ it's like nibbling chocoate rather than diving into the whole fountain ~ if you know what I mean