"You know you're old when your wife says 'Let's run upstairs and make love,' and you tell her 'I can not do both.'" -Little Jimmy Dickens
Man, I always hate it when I hear you say things like this, J.It's so the opposite of who you are. You're a nice guy with very positive ideals-- basically, the kind of guy this world needs. You've got to just stop focusing on the negative and embrace the positive. You can appreciate the beauty of a sunrise even though it only lasts a few minutes. Same with a sunset. Enjoy what you enjoy when you can. Look back in fondness on good memories. Laugh at the absurdity of it all. And if you're worried about time, you shouldn't be-- I'm twenty years older than you and I've got plenty left, so you've got it made.
Well said, RJ. Listen to him, J.Allen!
They both have points. Trust me, I know it's not easy getting older and not being where you originally planned and wanted to be when you were a high-flier and overachieving student in high school and thinking about the future, but a life full of nothing but regrets is not much of a life and it's important to remember that few of us ever do exactly what we want and precisely when we want to do those things.
Being alive, breathing, having hope and remembering you still have a long life ahead of you are wonderful things. They're not always easy to focus on when you feel disappointed in yourself and don't think you've done anything that matters, but they're the most important paving stones on the road to saying: "You know, it was never perfect nor even ideal at times, but I had a pretty decent run and I'm glad I came into this world."
It's not the easiest thing to remember your blessings and the things you do have going for you in life when you feel dejected and bored with your place in the world, but it's important to try to remember them. Sometimes we spend so much time complaining that there aren't enough seats and guests at the dinner table and forget the nice meal in front of us.
Being alive, breathing, having hope and remembering you still have a long life ahead of you are wonderful things. They're not always easy to focus on when you feel disappointed in yourself and don't think you've done anything that matters, but they're the most important paving stones on the road to saying: "You know, it was never perfect nor even ideal at times, but I had a pretty decent run and I'm glad I came into this world."
It's not the easiest thing to remember your blessings and the things you do have going for you in life when you feel dejected and bored with your place in the world, but it's important to try to remember them. Sometimes we spend so much time complaining that there aren't enough seats and guests at the dinner table and forget the nice meal in front of us.
A
Amaris
Guest
I really wish you guys were here. I'd grab you in a hug and wouldn't let go.
^ Neither would we. (Let go, that is.)
doubleohfive
Fleet Admiral
Getting old has its challenges. I've slowed down, my memory isn't what it used to be, and I find I have much less patience for things I used to not care about. My body has turned on me and old injuries sometimes cause agonizing pain when circumstances coincide against me. It sucks. It should also come as no surprise that I've long since made my peace with balding so early in life, but it's also something that has, at this stage in my life, become something of an issue because I live in a town and work in an industry that is incredibly ageist. It'd be nice if I didn't have to deal with it, but alas, I do and that sucks as well.
It's very easy to look back at ourselves and our lives in the past and think we see things much more clearly or that there was something that was much better then than there is now. Any one of us (myself included) could look back and find something that seems better in our lives then and compare it to something that seems overwhelming or worse now. I don't believe however that this means, necessarily, that things then were better or that things now are worse. It just means that we perhaps might have a tendency to look back and remember the positives more readily than we might remember the entirety of our lives at that time.
I do understand what you mean though. I turned 35 earlier this year and I've done plenty of self-reflection about my life, my career, and what I want to do with both vs. what I can plan to do and actually accomplish. Spoiler alert: I'm not remotely near where I want to be in either case. The trick is being okay with that, at least okay enough to be able to keep marching forward. It's not easy though. It's a constant struggle to keep going sometimes. But it is doable. Looking back on the previous 35 years is fine if you're going to do it for self-guidance or to reflect or refer to previous experience as it might apply to or inform experience going forward, but if all you're going to do is wallow in what you might perceive as wasted time, that's all you'll be doing for yourself. Wasting more time.
It sounds more like you're just suffering from depression and anxiety and these malaises are exaggerating and aggravating other latent issues you might be dealing with.
Try to look on the positive side of things. You're aware of these issues. You're aware that you're unhappy with your life as it is now. The power and ability to change that is entirely in your hands. What can you do to improve it? What will you do? What do you want to do?
One thing I think would benefit you is if you resumed your "John's Thought of the Week" video series. They don't have to be super-long or extravagant. Even a video that's a minute long would suffice. The reason is threefold.
One: You seemed to really enjoy making those videos and more importantly you seemed to benefit emotionally when others recognized the value of what you were putting out there in those videos.
Two: the videos always had great messages and I think even in the smallest of ways they were uplifting for you personally and a nice voice for everyone who watched to get that inside track to what John feels and thinks and more importantly, to see the world the way John sees it. I don't think I'm alone in saying this, but I like the world the way John sees it and I think there's something of tremendous value there.
Three: Sixty second videos will force you to make your comments concise and to the point and will help you to cut down on any possible rambling or tangents. Not that you did that before, just that it's easier for people to watch a sixty-second video than it would be for people to watch something 2 or 3 or 5 minutes long.
You're a good man, John. Better than most. If we have to take the time to comment and say it, so much the better. But the only person who can make that real change for the better is you.
It's very easy to look back at ourselves and our lives in the past and think we see things much more clearly or that there was something that was much better then than there is now. Any one of us (myself included) could look back and find something that seems better in our lives then and compare it to something that seems overwhelming or worse now. I don't believe however that this means, necessarily, that things then were better or that things now are worse. It just means that we perhaps might have a tendency to look back and remember the positives more readily than we might remember the entirety of our lives at that time.
I do understand what you mean though. I turned 35 earlier this year and I've done plenty of self-reflection about my life, my career, and what I want to do with both vs. what I can plan to do and actually accomplish. Spoiler alert: I'm not remotely near where I want to be in either case. The trick is being okay with that, at least okay enough to be able to keep marching forward. It's not easy though. It's a constant struggle to keep going sometimes. But it is doable. Looking back on the previous 35 years is fine if you're going to do it for self-guidance or to reflect or refer to previous experience as it might apply to or inform experience going forward, but if all you're going to do is wallow in what you might perceive as wasted time, that's all you'll be doing for yourself. Wasting more time.
It sounds more like you're just suffering from depression and anxiety and these malaises are exaggerating and aggravating other latent issues you might be dealing with.
Try to look on the positive side of things. You're aware of these issues. You're aware that you're unhappy with your life as it is now. The power and ability to change that is entirely in your hands. What can you do to improve it? What will you do? What do you want to do?
One thing I think would benefit you is if you resumed your "John's Thought of the Week" video series. They don't have to be super-long or extravagant. Even a video that's a minute long would suffice. The reason is threefold.
One: You seemed to really enjoy making those videos and more importantly you seemed to benefit emotionally when others recognized the value of what you were putting out there in those videos.
Two: the videos always had great messages and I think even in the smallest of ways they were uplifting for you personally and a nice voice for everyone who watched to get that inside track to what John feels and thinks and more importantly, to see the world the way John sees it. I don't think I'm alone in saying this, but I like the world the way John sees it and I think there's something of tremendous value there.
Three: Sixty second videos will force you to make your comments concise and to the point and will help you to cut down on any possible rambling or tangents. Not that you did that before, just that it's easier for people to watch a sixty-second video than it would be for people to watch something 2 or 3 or 5 minutes long.
You're a good man, John. Better than most. If we have to take the time to comment and say it, so much the better. But the only person who can make that real change for the better is you.
Maybe you need to move.
Last time, I think it was upgraded to 50 or over.Where the devil is that 40 and over thread? Now that I qualify for it it's gone.
Did it die of old age or something?
I am filing a protest! Now, where is my cane so I can shake it at your whipper-snappers?
Where the devil is that 40 and over thread? Now that I qualify for it it's gone.
Did it die of old age or something?
Nah, it just got sucked into another Matlock marathon on the Hallmark Channel or something and then nodded off about halfway through the night.
That does sound more likely.
Cool.
A sale on Werther's Originals.
A sale on Werther's Originals.
A
Amaris
Guest
It's why I try to find as many hobbies to engage myself so that I don't think about the passing time. Of course, I could have started learning an easier language than Japanese, but I'm that guy that sees Everest and says "We have no equipment, no experience, no resources, no idea what we're doing... fuck it, let's go for it."
I try not to focus on the past, but all of my good memories are there.
I do. I have Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and clinical Depression. My doctor is going to take things a bit slowly for a while to see how we can effectively address it.
I have considered it. I did enjoy making them, and I always did it hoping I could help someone else overcome some kind of hurdle. A minute long quick segment would also fit into my schedule, rather than a 10 minute segment that requires lots of extra time to create, format, and edit (whenever necessary).
I don't know if I'm necessarily a good man, but I do try to be a good person, and I try to leave someone's life or situation better than when I found it. I'm not sure I could be anything else. Evil doesn't suit me, except in the "dominate the world with smiles" sense. To be honest, I can think of dozens of people who are far, far kinder, more compassionate than myself.
They're not in my extended family
, but they're out there.My situation makes it rather impossible at the moment.
That's good. I'm glad you're taking some action. You have to understand that these feelings are not real and they are not you and it is possible to fix the situation.
In the meantime:
You don't get the cane until you're fifty. We're always one step ahead of you.I am filing a protest! Now, where is my cane so I can shake it at your whipper-snappers?
Thank you.
You more and more notice the obituaries. For example, the entertainers of my childhood began to die off some time ago; now, the entertainers of my young adulthood are getting old, sick, or dying.
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No, thanks. If I want diarrhea I'll pick and read through random TNZ threads.
You don't get the cane until you're fifty. We're always one step ahead of you.I am filing a protest! Now, where is my cane so I can shake it at your whipper-snappers?
I can run a mile in under 5 minutes. You old farts wanna race?
Yeah, well....I have a car.
Yeah, well....I have a car.
That she can't drive most of the time because every time it rains more than 2 drops at a time this city floods.
Ah HA! I have you there. I live in the burbs, where it doesn't flood! However, if you want to go downtown, then, well, yeah.
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