You're in love with a close friend. What's the best way to get over it and preserve the friendship?
What if...
- Thread starter EnsignYoshi
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There is no way. If the hypothetical person we're talking about (i.e. you) is truly in love with a close friend, that friendship is over, whatever happens.
Well, first thing: you never, never, NEVER admit it, no matter what kind of logical reason your mind may have come up with.
Sorry chum. The only way is to be strong and steele yourself. There is no magic cure. Time is the only thing that will take care of it. Either you move on or he becomes an asshole, etc. etc.
Make sure you don't decide to take the other easy route and just start to ignore them/hang out less. Because then you've lost the friend anyway and you might regret it later on.
And tharp is right. Unless you want to play the gamble and see what happens, don't try and talk it over with him. If you must vent, find a nice parent, therapist or a non-mutual friend to chat it over with (not necessarily in that order
).
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Is either party married or dating someone else? If not I'd say tell them how you feel and if they feel the same start seeing other on the next level. Relationships that have a basis on friendship last longer.
As friends first, you like each other first. You develop a respect for each other. You're looking out for each other's best interests. If you have a genuine friendship, you're not going to pretend to be someone you're not. Your true nature will surface when you're a person's friend first. A friend is someone you can trust. It's someone you can be open and honest with and that person will be the same with you. If only we were all so luck to be in love with our best friend!
As friends first, you like each other first. You develop a respect for each other. You're looking out for each other's best interests. If you have a genuine friendship, you're not going to pretend to be someone you're not. Your true nature will surface when you're a person's friend first. A friend is someone you can trust. It's someone you can be open and honest with and that person will be the same with you. If only we were all so luck to be in love with our best friend!
Exactly Right™
Corrected.
EnsignYoshi, the answer is still the same as last year, and the year before that, and the year before. By remaining friends with that guy, you nurture your infatuation. Leave. It's for your own sake.
I've been there. I know from experience that if the other is a true friend, you can talk it over with them. However, this doesn't mean that the other will recipricate those feelings. I personally got to hear the wonderful words "I love you as a friend."
You can keep the friendship if you both want to. I kept my friend for many years after.
However, make sure you can handle only being friends. I had a hard time and it was my own attitudes that ultimately strained things, and not hers.
By the way, we are both married now (to different people.) I have 3 kids, a good home, job, dogs, etc. so no matter what happens to this relationship, there's always the possibility for good stuff down the line.
You can keep the friendship if you both want to. I kept my friend for many years after.
However, make sure you can handle only being friends. I had a hard time and it was my own attitudes that ultimately strained things, and not hers.
By the way, we are both married now (to different people.) I have 3 kids, a good home, job, dogs, etc. so no matter what happens to this relationship, there's always the possibility for good stuff down the line.
Sometimes it's a tragedy this board prunes old threads.
(It still does that, right?)
There isn't much information to go on. But just move on. The fact you asked this question here more than once suggests there is no chance of anything happening between you two. Just move on.
^Does not. And they're search-able by Google too.
Awesome. If I was a still a Misc Mod, I'd be very very tempted to hit "Merge Threads" on all of them....
TheLonelySquire
Vice Admiral
^Does not. And they're search-able by Google too.
Awesome. If I was a still a Misc Mod, I'd be very very tempted to hit "Merge Threads" on all of them....
Just do a Matt Decker and let it rip! Cmon, grow some stubble!
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