Inasmuch as answering the question in the OP, by combining elements of the novels Strangers in the Sky, The Final Reflection, and Federation, and rew-writing some of the canon of Enterprise, this is how I see history unfolding:
2045 Unofficial first contact is made between humans and Vulcans when a Vulcan scoutship
crashes on Earth.
2050 The first round of world-wide conflicts between the eastern alliance and other Terran
powers, recorded as WWIII.
2061 Zephram Cochrane's automated test probe breaks the light barrier, heralding the
invention of Warp Drive.
2063-64 Zephram Cochrane makes the first, round-trip journey to Alpha Centauri, completing the trip in four months. He returns to Christopher's Landing on Titan, where he is met by his chief financial backer, the mysterious Micah Brack.
2065 The Earth ship Amity rescues a disabled Vulcan scoutcraft, marking official first contact between Earth and Vulcan. Historians disagree on whether the Vulcan ship was actually disabled, or whether this was an 'exaggeration' by the Vulcans in order to facilitate the meeting. The Vulcans had monitored Zephram Cochrane's warp tests, and realized that a controlled meeting was better than a chance encounter in a Vulcan-colonized star system.
2068 Formal diplomatic relations are established between Earth and Vulcan. Shortly after this, Zephram Cochrane shares all of his knowledge and theory on warp drive (then known as ‘superimpellor’ technology) with the Vulcans, who have long had vessels capable of sustaining speeds slightly better than warp 3.
2078 The Optimum Movement achieves the height of its power on Earth, under the leadership of Adrik Thorsen. WWIII is briefly rekindled. Vulcan temporarily withdraws it's ambassadors from Earth. 37 million Terrans are killed.
2079 The post-atomic horror reigns over vast regions of Earth, as experienced by Picard under the influence of Q. However, by this humans have established colonies on Alpha Centauri and several other planets, and human colonists have departed the Solar System for Terra Nova in ships converted to warp vessels. Established Earth colonies render vital aid that allows Earth
to recover more quickly from these wars than would otherwise have been possible.
2080-2110 Earth recovers from WWIII and rises from the ashes of the Optimum Movement. Vulcan ambassadors and advisors return to Earth, and humanity, having come to understand that it isn't alone in the universe, comes together like never before in Human history. The United Earth Government is established, under a heavily modified version of the old United Nations Charter.
2110 The United Earth Space Probe Agency, UESPA, is established as the space-going exploration and military arm of the United Earth Government.
2111 Jonathon Archer is born on Earth.
2119 Zephram Cochrane files a flight plan from his home on Alpha Centauri to Stapledon Center at Wolf 359, then disappears without a trace. He is 87 years old at the time. On Earth as well as Alpha Centauri, a massive research project is underway to improve the velocities attainable with warp drive.
2151 The UESPA Starship Discovery, NX-01, launches from Earth on a mission of peaceful exploration under the command of Captain Jonathon Archer. This follows years of attempts by skittish Vulcans (who vividly remember WWIII and the Optimum Movement) to discourage mankind from rapid expansion and exploration. Discovery cruises at warp 4, with an emergency speed of warp 4.8. This is the maximum speed attainable until the discovery of the power focus and the power focus and channeling effects of dilithium, which is still many years away.
2151-2152 The first year of Discovery's mission included many ground breaking events, including:
Suspected first contact with the Orion Pirates. (Fight or Flight)
First contact with the Rigellians.
Re-establishment of communications with the lost colony of Terra Nova.
Numerous surveys of Class- M worlds, resulting in several cases of 'trial and error.'
Rendering aid and assistance to older 'Boomer' ships plying established routes at low warp.
Communications specialist Hoshi Sato begins preliminary work on a computerized translation device.
2152-2153 The second year of Discovery's mission, which included:
First contact with the Tellarites and Andorians.
Transport of ambassadors to Andor and Tellar.
More encounters with suspected Orion Pirates, resulting in armed engagements with no face to face contact.
Discovery rescues alien astronauts from Valakis, a pre-warp culture. They have journeyed into space seeking a cure for a plague that is decimating their population. Subsequent events force Captain Archer to make hard ethical and moral choices.
UESPA Command, upon reviewing the logs of Captain Archer and Doctor Phlox, begins to broach the subject of the necessity of 'non-interference' policies when dealing with less-advanced cultures.
First contact with the humanoid Tandarans.
Discovery is present over an Andorian colony when it is mysteriously destroyed in a tremendous blast. Nearby Andorian ships respond, and accuse Earth of being in Collusion with Tellar. They fire on Discovery, forcing her to withdraw. Both sides prepare
for war.
2153-2154 The third year of Discovery's mission, which included:
War between Earth and Andor is averted by clever detective work from Captain Archer and his crew, as well as the calming influence of Vulcan diplomats. However, a third, heretofore unknown force is determined responsible for the massacre, presenting a new mystery.
A long-standing (but rare) territorial dispute between Vulcan and Andor is defused when the Andorian Shran requests the intervention of Captain Archer for a negotiated settlement. This, combined with Archer's work in proving Earth's innocence in the destruction of the Andorian colony, coupled with the diplomatic efforts of Earth's ambassadors on Tellar and Andor, show an emerging pattern of human efforts serving to dampen hostilities in 'local' space.
2154 UESPA Starships Columbia and Magellan are launched. In addition, smaller UESPA vessels as well as some privately owned interstellar ships are beginning to mount warp 4 engine technology. Interstellar business booms as freebooters race to intercept Boomers' with technology upgrades to sell, shaving years off journeys these ships are caught in the middle of.
Off-Earth colonization sees a marked increase, and a "second wave" of colonists departs for Terra Nova, now that the planet has been verified as still hospitable. This results in trouble later.
2154 The first confirmed, face-to-face contact with the Orions occurs. Within the next three years, and from that time forward, the interaction will become widespread. Orion activities, which include slave-trading and the exploitation of pre-warp cultures, are seen as extremely problematic by UESPA and the Vulcan High Command. However, at present, there are not enough resources available to adequately combat the problem. UESPA opens channels to the Andorians and Tellarites, asking for a cooperative effort in dealing with Orion Piracy. Both agree, but these efforts are hindered by their hostilitytoward one another.
2154-2155 Fourth year of Discovery's mission, which included:
UESPA Starships Valiant, Balboa and Argo are launched. Valiant is a deep space exploration mission launched toward the 'upper' edge of the galactic disk, tasked to research strange energy emissions from a barrier-like wavefront. She is never heard from again.
Several UESPA and civil vessels are lost along the boundary of explored space in the direction of the Romulan Star Empire. After several harrowing encounters carried out by Discovery and Magellan, UESPA becomes aware of the Romulan presence, although no face to face contact takes place.
Captain Archer, now hailed as statesman as well as explorer, begins broaching the subject of a binding alliance between Earth, Andor, Tellar, Vulcan, and their respective colonies.
2156 The Earth-Romulan wars begin with the destruction of the Starship Balboa. UESPA begins mass-producing warships and Terra switches over to a wartime footing.
2156-2160 The Earth-Romulan wars continue with great loss of life on either side. Neither side succeeds in making substantial gains in the others' space. The Romulans possess ferocity and superior weapons, but they are hampered by the fact that their starships are much slower than their UESPA counterparts.
2160 The Romulans suffer a terrible defeat at the Battle of Cheron. They agree to an armistice, and the treaty of Algeron establishes the Neutral Zone. Even though hostilities have ceased, neither side has had face to face contact with the other.
2161 The UFP is founded. UESPA is dissolved in lieu of Starfleet, a new Federation organization tasked with the defense and exploration of Federation space and the UFP Treaty Exploration Territory. All UESPA starships are refitted as Starfleet vessels, and a new class, the Daedalus, begins its trial runs.
2167 The USS Archon is lost with all hands.
2168 The USS Horizon inexplicably lost after departing Dana Iotia 2.
2200 The Klingon Empire takes its first Federation prize. While Vulcan is aware of the existence of the Klingon Empire, the Federation at large is not. Official first contact will not occur for another 11 years.
2211 First contact with the Klingon Empire occurs with the ill-fated encounter between the USS Sentry and IKV Devisor.
2217 USS Valiant is lost with all hands at Eminiar VII.
2221 USS Flying Fortress is attacked and destroyed by the Klingons.
2233 Dr. Emanuelle Tagore becomes the first Federation ambassador to the Klingon Empire.
2239 The infamous 'Dissolution Babel' conference- the last Federation Babel conference to be held on Earth. The Back-To-Earth movement is defeated and the Federation is preserved in its current form, thanks to the efforts of Admiral Shepherd and Carter Winston. Dr. Tagore attends this conference. At this time, the power channeling effects of dilithium become known to Federation
engineers. The Klingons had recently achieved the same breakthrough from a subjugated race, the Willal. A new generation of starships goes on the drawing board- ships that will be capable of speeds in excess of warp 6. In the Federation, the 'Materializer' (later known as the transporter) is certified safe for sentient use.
2244 Design and construction begins on the Constitution Class Starship.
2252 Start of the 4 Years War between the Klingon Empire and the Federation.
2256 End of the 4 years war and establishment of the Axanar Peace Mission. Phasers and photon torpedoes replace lasers and accelerator cannon weapons aboard all Federation vessels.
2264 Captain Kirk begins his five year mission as commanding officer of the USS Enterprise.
2269 Enterprise returns from her first 5 year mission.
