What are your turn-ons/turn-offs?

[thestrangequark]

What about guys who aren't calling a square dance using "gals"?

"Gals" doesn't bother me. Neither does "chicks." I use "chicks" all the time, and refer to men as "dudes." I understand why some women might find the terms offensive, but in my experience they don't come loaded with the kind of spineless misogyny that "females" usually carries, and so I am fine with them.

I had a boss --an older man, very Southern-- who would always refer to the female department mangers as "gals." I HATED that, especially since the male mangers were always refereed to by name but the women were just "gals:" You're a great gal, go get that gal in charge of housewares, one of the gals is on vacation this week; hey, gal, get this done for me, will ya? UGH. I don't even know if he ever learned my name.

I suppose it really depends on context and tone. If it feels disrespectful or groups all the women together while the men are treated as individuals, then it really pisses me off. When I was growing up, back in the Dark Ages, "chick" was very disrespectful and had a negative connotation but I think now it's used in a much more humorous manner and younger people find it very cute.

I agree entirely, it is really about context and tone. Referring to women in the work environment as "gals" or "chicks" is totally disrespectful.

Totally different path:
Are you turned on or off by a person's height? My husband is quite tall and his best friend is quite short. His friend says that tall men get more attention and respect--have better luck with the ladies. I find myself attracted to actors of various heights, but most of them are probably considered tall or average height.

Personally, I'm very much turned on by height. Especially extreme height (I even listed it in my turn-ons, like, 6'4" and higher height). However, I'm not similarly turned off by shortness, and one of the hottest guys I ever dated was only 5'4".

 

[Gryffindorian]

More physical/superficial attributes:

• A sweet smile
• Thick sexy eyebrows on a guy
• A particular voice - I personally don't like the way I sound. I'm a squeaky baritone. I like mid to low pitch voices
• Last but not the least, clothing/style! It doesn't mean you have to dress like you're going to the Oscars, but I do admire men and women who carry themselves well, exudes charisma and confidence, and manages to look good in just about anything.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

His friend says that tall men get more attention and respect--have better luck with the ladies.

Don't I wish....

Scotty's habit of calling all the women, especially engineering personnel, lass or lassie is cute. I never heard any of them complaining about. Scotty has charm. I don't know, if any of the women liked it to be called lass or they simply indulged him......

Well I think most people can tell that when Scotty talks like that, he never means it with a disrespectful or sexist tone. Scotty's always struck me as an upstanding guy.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Speaking of voices (as Gryffindorian just did), certain ones are definitely turn-ons. Alan Rickman . Patrick Stewart. Michael Dorn. Morgan Freeman. For the first two, the lovely accents don't hurt, either.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Speaking of voices

I see what you did there...

As for voices in general: I hate the sound of my own voice...I sound like I have a bag of marbles in my mouth. And like I'm a 45-rpm single played at 33 or 16. Just about the only song I can even sing is "16 Tons".

 

[Kilana2]

I see what you did there...

As for voices in general: I hate the sound of my own voice...I sound like I have a bag of marbles in my mouth. And like I'm a 45-rpm single played at 33 or 16. Just about the only song I can even sing is "16 Tons".

Oh, I love Ernie Ford and this song....

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

^ I'd be even more convincing if I could snap my fingers while singing it but unfortunately that's a trick I never mastered.

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[Tora Ziyal]

I see what you did there...

As for voices in general: I hate the sound of my own voice...I sound like I have a bag of marbles in my mouth. And like I'm a 45-rpm single played at 33 or 16. Just about the only song I can even sing is "16 Tons".

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your voice. Your speaking voice, anyway, which is what we were talking about. No idea what your singing sounds likes.

 

[Catarina]

If I listed off my physical hopes, I'd sound shallow lol. And lately, I'm one to talk. In the end, I am drawn to guys who have personality, are kind and respectful to myself and others.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your voice. Your speaking voice, anyway, which is what we were talking about.

aww thanks

No idea what your singing sounds likes.

The bass line from "Sussudio" would probably be the closest equivalent.

 

[CommanderRaytas]

If I listed off my physical hopes, I'd sound shallow lol. And lately, I'm one to talk. In the end, I am drawn to guys who have personality, are kind and respectful to myself and others.

This. I like 'em a little quirky and very witty. Someone with a sense of humour that isn't about denigrating others. Someone fun. As for the looks department, I rather prefer guys who are more on the cute side than the stereotypical Hollywood ideal of "rawr I be da alpha malez". For example, I always had a thing for MCA (a.k.a. Adam Yauch, the lovely gentleman in my avatar, may he rest in peace), but for the life of me I don't see the appeal of a bloke like Chris Hemsworth or Hugh Jackman or that walking and talking libido killer Channing Tatum - you know, the Captain Steroid kind of man. Not for me.

To each their own, though. There's a reason these garden-variety muscled dudes are so popular, even if it escapes me. * shrugs *

 

[MacLeod]

Not an easy question to answer, sure in terms of the opposite sex I can find someone attractive but that doesn't mean I am attracted to them, I suppose for the later it comes down to personality and more often or not more towards the opposite of my persoanality.

 

[Venardhi]

I'll skip most of the obvious stuff that makes a person a decent person or terrible in general.

ON:
Small, "willowy" or "petite" builds. Flared hips are a bonus.
Husky voices. Particularly when getting very close to me and talking very quietly.
Mischievous grins and twinkles in the eye.
Wit/humor.
Mindful kindness and graciousness as a default setting. Someone who speaks up and shows appreciation.
Curiosity and the ability to discuss ideas without it becoming an argument.
Well done, moderate makeup. Especially around the eyes.
Legs. Particularly in long socks or stockings.
Love of animals.
Unabashed enthusiasm
Smelling good. Can be either natural or from a bottle.
Skirts and dresses.
Convictions.
Hands-on/willingness to get their hands dirty. Have a peculiar 'thing' for (also otherwise attractive) hippy-ish farm girls, tradeswomen and overalls.

OFF:
"Excessive" body modification, especially bad tattoos and piercings around the nose/mouth.
Lots of body hair. Doesn't mean I expect shaven arms or that a happy trail will scare me off though.
Easily grossed out.
Indecision.
Overly-sensitive, suspicious or quick to jump to conclusions.
The "Chola" look.
More than a little excess weight. Though some can pull it off. (and I'll readily admit this is due in part to my own body issues)
Addictive personalities.
Exclusively "vanilla" sexual interests.
Disinterest in outdoor experiences.
Strongly religious.
Judgmental (generally comes with the previous listing)
Childishness/immaturity/lack of good manners.

I'm sure there are plenty more I could add to either list, depending on the day/hour/moment I sit down to write it.

 

[Gary Mitchell]

I've seen most of my turn ons mentioned already. One of my big turn offs (and I may be alone in this) is when someone constantly has their face in their phone, checking facebook, tweeting etc.

 

[MacLeod]

Totally different path:
Are you turned on or off by a person's height? My husband is quite tall and his best friend is quite short. His friend says that tall men get more attention and respect--have better luck with the ladies. I find myself attracted to actors of various heights, but most of them are probably considered tall or average height.

I can certainly empathise with him being on the short side myself.

 

[CommanderRaytas]

I'm relatively short and don't like to have to look up to a guy all the time.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

One of my big turn offs (and I may be alone in this) is when someone constantly has their face in their phone, checking facebook, tweeting etc.

You're not alone in this.

If I was on a date with someone and they kept doing that, I'd say "Maybe you should date that damn phone instead of me. You obviously love it more!"

 

[auntiehill]

That is the rudest thing ever. I don't even allow that behavior in my nieces and nephew. If I take them to dinner or somewhere, and they pull out their phone while at the table, I just reach over and take it from them.

If someone spent more than a few minutes on their phone while a date with me, I would just get up and leave.

Getting back to something Venardhi said yesterday. Indecisiveness is something I also find very unattractive. I think it points to a general weakness of character. It's better to be decisive, and occasionally wrong, than to be afraid to make even the most simple decisions.

 

[MacLeod]

That is the rudest thing ever. I don't even allow that behavior in my nieces and nephew. If I take them to dinner or somewhere, and they pull out their phone while at the table, I just reach over and take it from them.

If someone spent more than a few minutes on their phone while a date with me, I would just get up and leave.

Getting back to something Venardhi said yesterday. Indecisiveness is something I also find very unattractive. I think it points to a general weakness of character. It's better to be decisive, and occasionally wrong, than to be afraid to make even the most simple decisions.

That being said one person might make a decision quickly whilst another takes more time, the one who makes decisions quickly might view the person who takes more time as indecisive.

 

[Venardhi]

For me it is most frustrating when it is indecision on the most everyday decisions. I don't want to make every decision every time all of the time.

"What do you want for dinner?"
"I don't know."
"Should we go out or stay in?"
"Either way is fine."
"What do you want on the pizza?"
"Get what you like."
"I'm gonna grab a movie, is there anything you want to see?"
"Surprise me."

I know you have an opinion, just speak up.