They should have treated Alexander like Mrs Columbo, heard about but never seen
Was Worf a Good Father?
- Thread starter TribbleFeeder
- Start date
Worf is the most decent, moral, and courageous person you can find, but he could come off as sort of an oddball, when it came to Klingon customs.
After K'Ehleyr and him have quickie sex in the holodeck, he tells her they're supposed to be married by Klingon custom. He insisted they get married right at that moment. Not surprisingly, K'Ehleyr was freaked out and left fast.
Another was after Jadzia was killed. Understandably he was moody, but later he was snapping at his friends and smashing chairs and things. So of course you think it's because he's angry at how Jadzia was killed so soon after their marriage and the murderer is still loose.
But no, it's because he believed she didn't make it to Stovokor, because she wasn't killed in glorious battle and never ate the heart of one of her enemies.
And he almost drove Dax and Martok crazy complaining over some small detail of their upcoming wedding. They were going to have a sacrifice of a Targ after their wedding feast, but Worf insisted by custom its supposed to occur before the wedding feast. No one else seemed to care, lol.
A lot of this points to some fundamentalist tendencies Worf might have had. Some of it seems a little funny but you can how serious it got when Worf didn't speak to Alexander for 5 years because he led a warrior's life and he thought it was normal.
I think he did do a nice job during that small time they spent together on the Enterprise.
After K'Ehleyr and him have quickie sex in the holodeck, he tells her they're supposed to be married by Klingon custom. He insisted they get married right at that moment. Not surprisingly, K'Ehleyr was freaked out and left fast.
Another was after Jadzia was killed. Understandably he was moody, but later he was snapping at his friends and smashing chairs and things. So of course you think it's because he's angry at how Jadzia was killed so soon after their marriage and the murderer is still loose.
But no, it's because he believed she didn't make it to Stovokor, because she wasn't killed in glorious battle and never ate the heart of one of her enemies.
And he almost drove Dax and Martok crazy complaining over some small detail of their upcoming wedding. They were going to have a sacrifice of a Targ after their wedding feast, but Worf insisted by custom its supposed to occur before the wedding feast. No one else seemed to care, lol.
A lot of this points to some fundamentalist tendencies Worf might have had. Some of it seems a little funny but you can how serious it got when Worf didn't speak to Alexander for 5 years because he led a warrior's life and he thought it was normal.
I think he did do a nice job during that small time they spent together on the Enterprise.
Last edited:
When I read the thread title, my immediate answer was "no", but in the OP was the question "did he do the best he could?", and I think he did.
Worf knew from the start he would be bad at this. He sent Alexander to live with the Rozenkos because they were good at being parents. But that had side effects.
I think there was a lot of tragic miscommunication there: Alexander thought Worf sent him away because Worf didn't like him, and knowing this made Worf upset, and seeing Worf upset made Alexander think it was because he wasn't Klingon enough, which made Worf more upset. Alexander couldn't see that what was making Worf upset was Worf's feeling that everything was his fault and a better father would have a solution.
Worf didn't really have a role model for a Klingon father: he was orphaned around the time he was Alexander's age, so he didn't have a Klingon father to base his behavior towards a child that age on.
The Rozhenkos gave him a model, but that was for raising a child who wants to immerse himself in the study of Klingon society, so he had no idea how to raise a kid who didn't want that, and less idea how to make that interesting to someone.
So most of Worf's ideas on how to be a good parent involved stepping out of the picture. He had seen that with others Alexander didn't have the baggage of feeling he wasn't living up to their expectations, and he couldn't figure out how to communicate to Alexander the pride and love he felt, so he decided the best way to make Alexander happy was to stay away.
And that, of course, didn't work as planned.
Worf knew from the start he would be bad at this. He sent Alexander to live with the Rozenkos because they were good at being parents. But that had side effects.
I think there was a lot of tragic miscommunication there: Alexander thought Worf sent him away because Worf didn't like him, and knowing this made Worf upset, and seeing Worf upset made Alexander think it was because he wasn't Klingon enough, which made Worf more upset. Alexander couldn't see that what was making Worf upset was Worf's feeling that everything was his fault and a better father would have a solution.
Worf didn't really have a role model for a Klingon father: he was orphaned around the time he was Alexander's age, so he didn't have a Klingon father to base his behavior towards a child that age on.
The Rozhenkos gave him a model, but that was for raising a child who wants to immerse himself in the study of Klingon society, so he had no idea how to raise a kid who didn't want that, and less idea how to make that interesting to someone.
So most of Worf's ideas on how to be a good parent involved stepping out of the picture. He had seen that with others Alexander didn't have the baggage of feeling he wasn't living up to their expectations, and he couldn't figure out how to communicate to Alexander the pride and love he felt, so he decided the best way to make Alexander happy was to stay away.
And that, of course, didn't work as planned.
I also wonder if Alexander was born shortly after their first encounter, before the events of "The Emissary". That would explain the age issue.
Yes, but ...
If Memory Alpha is right, then when Worf was assigned to DS9, Alexander was the same age Worf was when his parents died. So if Alexander was an adult at that age, so was Worf.
I guess I need to rewatch the relevant episodes, but my impression definitely was that Alexander was not concieved during the episode "The Emmisary", but rather years before and existed (but was not mentioned) at that time.
that's interesting. i never noticed that before. Alexander grew up a LOT between his first appearance (2367) and his birth (2366). Battle of Wolf 359 was in the year as his birth. Seems like something isn't right, there. Maybe some detail I forgot or never picked up on.
I partially agree. Yes, flawed characters are better. Does this affect how he is perceived overall? That is up to each individual to decide. My position that Worf was a bad father to Alexander was more a statement based on the evidence given us and not a condemnation of his character as a whole. Would James T. Kirk have been any different if David had been dumped on his doorstep without any prior notice of his paternity? Or Picard? Worf was not allowed to bond with Alexander. K'Ehleyr made a choice to exclude Worf from even knowing he was a father until shortly before she was murdered. So his attitude is somewhat understandable. I do not agree with it, but do feel a level of understanding.
Worf is a rigid traditionalist. K'Ehleyr refused to marry him or abide any of the Klingon rituals. Worf was not allowed to be a part of the pregnancy or to bond with the child upon birth. I just don't believe his character felt anything resembling parental love toward Alexander, only a duty.
My impression was that Alexander was conceived during Emissary. I don't think K'Ehleyr had even seen Worf since his younger days, maybe when he was in the Academy. I think the writers just FUBARed Alexander's age and development over the course of many episodes for their convenience in storytelling and casting. It was a complete mess.
As far as Worf not bringing Alexander to DS9, I can kind of see why. Worf had just lost the Enterprise (I believe Alexander was visiting home at the time), and the crash could have killed his son. Then, Worf was without an assignment and seemed to be trying to get his head on straight at the monastery, before being recalled to active duty and assigned to DS9. He wouldn't bring Alexander to DS9, because it was smack-dab in the middle of what was about to be a war-zone (with the Klingons, then with the Dominion). Then, just a year or two went by before we see Alexander. So, between Generations and when we see Alexander again on DS9 were only 3 years or so, most of which had Worf right in the middle of one war or another. So clearly, Alexander would have been safer back on Earth. I can't really fault Worf for not dragging him to DS9.
Of course, nothing should have precluded Worf visiting Alexander in Russia during Paradise Lost. That's a whole other thing.
True.
There were a number of times Worf was at earth and apparently didn't bother to contact Alexander. One had to have been when the Enterprise was destroyed. And Paradise Lost as you said, and then First Contact where he would have had plenty of time to check up on Alexander.
Alexander had said that Worf never bothered to contact him or see in over 5 years. Worf's response was only that he lived a warrior's life, so apparently he agreed with him.
It's hard to place the blame, since K'Ehleyr did keep him a secret and waited until he was child to even introduce them. Alexander seems stubborn. Worf seems too rigid.
It may also due to the typical TV drama trope ; Certain relatives are always absent. K'Ehleyr had no human relatives at all that may have wanted to meet Alexander or for a relationship with him?
No... he wasn't the best. It was clear that he cares for his son, but had no idea what he was doing. I think that Alexander probably suffered as a result, Worf didn't have the time or knowledge to take care of him the way he deserved.
Except Worf did have the time, just not the desire, as illustrated by others in similar circumstance choosing to raise kids (The O'Briens on TNG and DS9, Sisko on DS9). Secondly, first-time parenting is an "on the job" endeavor - nobody ever goes into it feeling they know enough.
You're right, compared to Sisko, who also lacked a partner and clearly had a lot more responsibility, Worf really does come across as a near-terrible father. I didn't think about that lol.
This is true. I think because Worf wasn't there at the beginning, & then being thrust into single parenthood, on the heels of tragedy, it just made him think this wasn't something he could do. It's possible for someone to never shake a self doubt like that. He wouldn't be the 1st dad to fail to relate to his son, & many of them bail, give up, or just exist as a dad in title only, never truly being a mentor
So while I think Worf was bad at fathering. I don't think he's a bad person for it. That's just how the cookie crumbles. He didn't know any better, & he had a major issue with trying to find it within himself to do so. I don't think I'd say that it's because he had no desire for it, but he had no will for it for sure
Last edited:
The deepest thoughts can come from the most basic questions.
Man, just finished watching TNG episode "First Born" (S7E21), and it eliminated any and all doubt as to Worf's rottenness as a parent. Apparently he does not seem guide Alexander between episodes in which his son appears nor grow in his ability to communicate or father. Alexander has been onboard too long for Worf to be this klutzy and awkward unless dear old dad has been avoiding him all this time!
Honestly, as poorly as they've written this father-son relationship I don't understand why they just didn't kill off/write out Alexander?
The story starts off with daddy-dearest, clearly out of the blue, demanding his son take part in the first right of ascension. Then to get Alexander in the spirit he takes him to a nearby Klingon festival. It's working. Alexander is getting into it and making friends. Then Worf feels compelled to plays the a$$-hat card and becomes "Kling the Buzzkill." Won't let him see the mummified head (sure it was a con, but so what it was a akin to a carnival freak show) and then he won't even let Alexander say goodbye. Sorry, that is not being strict. That is being a jerk-supreme.
Honestly, as poorly as they've written this father-son relationship I don't understand why they just didn't kill off/write out Alexander?
The story starts off with daddy-dearest, clearly out of the blue, demanding his son take part in the first right of ascension. Then to get Alexander in the spirit he takes him to a nearby Klingon festival. It's working. Alexander is getting into it and making friends. Then Worf feels compelled to plays the a$$-hat card and becomes "Kling the Buzzkill." Won't let him see the mummified head (sure it was a con, but so what it was a akin to a carnival freak show) and then he won't even let Alexander say goodbye. Sorry, that is not being strict. That is being a jerk-supreme.
Similar threads
