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Voyager Caption Contest #44: "New Year's Resolutions"

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Janeway: "Tuvok, which section of the ship are we under?"
Tuvok (O.C.): "You are currently located beneath the Main Lavatory on Deck 5."
Janeway: "Wait a second...Neelix, didn't you serve your special Nine-Alarm Chili at dinner tonight?"
 
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Doctor: "Would this be the aforementioned hand Miss Torres said I was supposed to talk to? Very well. Hello, hand. How are you doing today? Would you like a little dermoregeneration? Answer me. Why won't it answer back? My goodness -- this hand is dead!"
 
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GrannyJaneway: "Who...in the hell, keeps doing this?

Neelix: "Well, Captain...after all, there is only one toilet on the ship."
 
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Granny Janeway: "Pocket change? You brought me all the way down here to show me pocket change?!

Neelix: "Well, Captain...there's almost a dollar here..."
 
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Granny Janeway: "No one flips Granny the bird and gets a way with it...NOBODY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Neelix: "That's it, Grandma...you tell 'em!"
 
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Ensign Dave "Sully" Sullivan: Oh my Gahd, was that you?

Lt William "Squeezebox" Lee: Yeah, it was me. Check it out, I think Tommy is totally gonna Vomit.
 
^ In defense of my buddy Gep, I just meant that people within the Miscellaneous thread I posted that in shouldn't quote it and make everyone have to scroll past it more than once. I'm fine with him posting it here. The gag doesn't really work as well when you see the whole thing in its entirety in the link before enlarging it.
 
In any event...it's utter GENIUS...so is the Bugs Bunny...
CURSES...humbled again!

Anyways...

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Doctor: ''To assimilate, or not to assimilate...''
Captain: ''Doctor, this is not the time for your custom programs.''

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Neelix: ''Captain, why don't you just forget about it? You can't cook 25 litres of coffee using a transporter pad!''
 
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