Voyager Caption Contest #42: "Clean-up In Aisle Five"

[Yeoman Randi]

Greetings fellow drones! December is here, it's time for good cheer and posting another caption contest! Before we plow on into the next one, we have some leftover turkey and pie to finish up~


Because it's never lupus the first award goes to:

B'Elanna: You're talking about brain surgery?

Doctor House: I'm talking about Really cool brain surgery!

Reason enough to become a vegetarian, especially at Thanksgiving:

It came from the reclamation tank on Deck 15. Leola Root Stew, in its ultimate form, and out for blood.

The "Someone hand me a phaser, Neelix is on the screen again" award goes to:

Neelix: In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion sleeps tonight. A weem a wep a weem a wep--join us Captain!
Janeway: Setting phaser to kill.

The Black Friday Award goes to~

Paris: "So you're not sorry?"

Tuvok: "Shopping for the last fourteen hours did make me work up a sweat and I may fall asleep as we speak. But the prices I paid were quite reasonable and, better yet, I've most efficiently completed all my holiday season gift buying."

The Tony Orlando and Dawn award must be presented for this entry:

Tuvok: Excuse me, Admiral. I have a logical crush on my downstairs neighbor. I have repeatedly asked her to knock three times, but apparently the answer is no.

And a special photoshop award goes to this entry for it's brilliance!

EMH: I forget, who am I to call in this situation?

CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE WHO PLAYED AND OF COURSE TO DA WINNAS!

And now for your captioning pleasure i present these photos to tickle your fancy~

Ok, as always, i'll let this one brew for two weeks, so have fun, set a course for home and engage!

 

[Supernuke]

Janeway: Tom was right! Avatar in 3D is much better than the new Star Trek movie!
Tuvok: I would tend to agree, Captain

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Wesley crusher appears

Wesley: I don't know much about brain scans...

Neelix: How do I look?

Tom: Like an ugly rat. What? what I say? I was just being honest

Later in the episode, Janeway will turn invisible and Tom Paris will get Silver plated and fly around on a surfboard

 

[tharpdevenport]

Doc: "My god ... he's been infected with Liberalism."

Neelix: "Salluting, "President Skroob!"

Super-power endowed Kes has "hot flashes" like no man has seen before...

Movie Theater Announcer: "Everybody please remember to turn off or disable you communicator badges, tricorders, mobile emitters, or other devices."

BEEP (from the back of the room)

Tuvok: "Oh, WHAT HTE FUCK?!"
Janeway: "Go pinch 'im."

Sulu: "UUUMmm. Coffee tastes so much better when it comes from a giant penis shapes container. Oh myyyyy..."

 

[Supernuke]

Doctor: Captain, according to this, the morality center of your brain doesn't exist! I can't believ- Oh, wait. Yeah I can.

 

[LeadHead]

Thanks for the win!

Janeway: Report Doctor.

Doctor: Scans confirm, there's nothing in Neelix's Brain.

Paris: Problem?

Neelix: Bad hair life.

Captains Log: Today we turned off the fire suppression systems for routine maintenance. On a related matter, Kes will be assisting me in the annual fireworks display in Cargo Bay 1.

Tuvok: I do not understand the appeal of this film. Piranhas are attacking random people I do not care about.

Janeway: Yes, Tuvok. And it's in 3-D!

Tuvok: It is a Vulcan tea, created when my people first encountered yours.

Sulu: What's it called?

Tuvok: Morons.

 

[Shon T'Hara]

Neelix: "So you say this ro-gain stuff really works?"

After leaving Voyager, Kes traveled to a world called Middle Earth and changed her name to Sauron.

Sulu: And you'll play the role of Anthony Stewart Head.

Tuvok: You wish for me to reenact a series of 20th Century coffee commercials with you?

Janeway: Not just commercials. These are classic lovestories on a par with Austen and the Brontes.

Tuvok: And Captain Janeway will be my love interest?

Sulu: Not exactly.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS:Crap! We do have the same hairline!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

EMH: "Brain and brain, what is brain?"

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Thanks for the win!

EMH: "And here we see the trauma inflicted on the average viewer's brain after watching the middle stretch of Season Six. The first disruption to cognitive process coincides with Fair Haven, the second is the result of Spirit Folk, and this critical breakdown marked in blue was received while watching Fury. Evidently the subject in question was a Kes fan".

 

[Deranged Nasat]

Kes: "Damn you, Johnny Cash!"

Tuvok: "My most shameful memory. I am grieved that you had to view this, Captain Janeway".

Janeway: "But Sulu seems to like the tea.."

Tuvok: "It's not that. I am serving a hot beverage to the captain on the bridge. My position on this ship...is that of Neelix".

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Doctor: "Captain, I designed a computer algorithm to construct a psychological profile of you based on all your command decisions during this mission. These are the primary points where the algorithm was driven completely batshit."

Neelix: "Oh, I make this look good!"

Janeway: "Ew! I guess filming porn in 3D wasn't such a good idea, after all."
Tuvok: "I think I just threw up a little in my mouth."

Sulu: "Patience, son, patience. We'll get around to your Starfleet tactical and leadership training all in good time. As for now, this coffee is much better than the pot you made yesterday!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Neelix: I'm sorry, Tom, I can't hear you over the sound of how awesome I am.
Paris: Bitch.

Janeway and Tuvok soon came to regret choosing Lens Flares A-Go-Go for movie night.

 

[LeadHead]

Sulu: This is terrible tea! I'm sorry, but for this insult I'll make sure you don't make Lieutenant Commander for at least 80 years!

 

[Itisnotlogical]

Doctor: This is the brain of an average YouTube commenter. We had to blow the picture up several hundred times for it to be visible. Notice how the pathways are specially designed for mimicking what stupid people say...

Kes: In nomine peccatorum inferna, satan ultor...

Seven: Host Black Mass all you want. I'll always have bigger tits and the fans will always love me more for it.

Tim Russ: The graphics are great and all, but Avatar's story sucks.

Kate Mulgrew: Shut up you heathen!

Sulu: Ha ha, that silly bitch Katherine thought she'd be captain of the Excelsior...

Tuvok: *clears throat* Um, Captain...

 

[Capt_Pickirk]

Doctor: This is a scan of Ensign Harry kim's brain, note that in edition to partially being made of wood it also hasn't any emotion what so ever. Apparently, at the academy he was known as the starfleet cockblocker. Whatever that means

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

EMH: "We lost contant with Lieutenant Paris' miniaturised shuttle somewhere around the lower cerebellum. If he follows established protocol, he'll make his way to the nasal cavity where..."

Janeway: "Doctor?"

EMH: "Sorry, just had the strangest bit of deja vu."

Neelix: "This is where I say something insulting about Tom Paris, then come out with a 'he's behind me, isn't he?' cliche, right?"

The care of Berengarian dragons holoprogram wasn't a popular one.

Tuvok: "We are on a holodeck... a technological contrivance that allows fully interactive, three dimensional entertainment, sat in the recreation of an ancient cinema, watching the projection of 2 dimensional entertainment medium, crudely using a trick of perception to create the illusion of 3-dimensions, hopelessly unsophisticated when compared to the holodeck technology itself."

Janeway: "Nice one. points. That explanation took us all the way to the end credits."

Janeway: "You served tea? Isn't that a little..."
Tuvok: "Humiliating? That is yet to come."
Sulu: "Nice tea, Roger. Fetch my assless chaps, my whip and a jar of olives."
Janeway: "Roger?"
Tuvok sigh: "Roger the Cabin Boy."

 

[Finn]

Tom: What's that?
Doc: Neelix's Brain
Tom: And the yellow lines?
Doc: From all the leola roots one of the crewmen shoved up...

Tom: *How did they put it up there?*

To the Gods of the great desert, please accept my request to shove...

Janeway: That's an amazing flatscreen. Where did you get it?
Tuvok: From a former Captain of mine.
Janeway: I'd like one. Could you ask him where he got it?

Tuvok: Here's some Leola Tea. Oh, and Janeway wants that flatscreen of yours.
Sulu: Oh, My!

 

[jo jo]

^love the continuation all thought the on about the penis coffee cup is still my fave

 

[Isis]

Kes: "Help, I'm a prisoner in a tie-dyed tee shirt..."