Voyager Caption Contest #39 "Your Face Gives it Away".

[Yeoman Randi]

Greetings fellow drones ! It's that time again.... But first, let's take a trip down memory lane and announce da winnas from our last contest~

First up we have the "All It's Missing is a Fried Egg" award which goes to:

EMH: "... and this is your head on drugs... "

Next we have the "Oh CRAP, Looks Like I'm Gounded" Award which goes to:

Kathy: "Mom! Dad! I thought you were going to be gone all weekend!"

The "So Good it's Perfect" award goes to:

"Weekend At Q's"

The next award goes to this entry, which actually made me chuckle everytime i thought of it for two whole weeks:

Janeway, singing:

Swingin' on the rail,
I'm swingin' on the rail,
The bridge is blowin' up,
But I'm swingin' on the rail!

And finally, the "If Harry Met Sally, Would She Friend Him?" award goes to:

Harry had been on Spacebook for over a year but only had three friends.

Finally, we have a tie for photoshop entries. They were both so good i just couldn't pick one over the other:

"This crew looks unpredictable and ready to hump."

And:

Slots Player: "I don't get this. Three of a kind and no money's coming out."

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE WINNERS~and thanks to everyone who participated. You all seriously rock!

And now, for your captioning pleasure i offer the following screencaps to tickle your fancy:

As always, i will let this run for two weeks. Buckle up, have fun, set a course for home and engage!

 

[Finn]

Harry: "I hope Tom won't rescue me just yet. This is the longest I've been with a woman in ages"

Tom: (OS) Zsa Zsa Gabor! My turn!

Chakotay: Oh, my god! This is awful!
Neelix: Because they made us ugly?
Chakotay: No. They made Seven's boobies smaller!
Neelix: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

 

[LeadHead]

Choatica: SPEED IT UP A LITTLE!

Vorik: Here's your problem.

Neelix: What is it?

Vorik: It's a Replicator, not a big screen TV.

Kes: Re-triangulating the Quantum Flux Stresses, using a secondary refraction manifold...

Doctor: For crying out loud Kes, B'Elanna already took care of the technobabble part, just flip the damn switch!

Doctor: Captain Janeway, look who showed up here again.

Janeway: What did you do now?

Q2: Nothing! I Swear! I'm just glad I'm back safely. I was in this strange universe where there were Breweries in Engine Rooms!

Beltran: I make a few harmless notes on what they're doing with the show and they make me wear THIS makeup.

 

[T.D. Possum]

"Vulcan Love Slave"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Thanks for the win, Yeoman Randi!

Chaotica (to director): "According to the script, I'm supposed to be getting a vibe of 'manly, heroic defiance' from Harry. That's not the vibe I'm getting!"

Neelix (OS): "But remember, if it lasts more than four hours, we have to see the doctor."

Chakotay: "Look! She picked Bachelor Number 3! The one without any facial splotches!"
Neelix: "Earth women are just...weird."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

Harry: "You won't get a word out of me!"
Chaotica: "I will make you talk, my young and foolish friend."
Harry: "Not a chance!"
Chaotica: "Bring out the darts of death!"

T'Vorik: "No! I was most certainly not spiking the ship's water supply with Vulcan aphrodisiacs and rohypnol."

Neelix: "That's the last time we watch When Harry Met Sally."

Q2: "You say I've inherited my father's receding hairline? What the hell kind of omnipotence is that?"

Chakotay: "See, it's not that bad. The last time something this freaky happened on a starship, Barclay turned into a spider, Riker a neanderthal, Troi into an amphibian. We only look freaky. At least we still have our faculties."

 

[Deranged Nasat]

In the poorly-received reboot of Voyager, one of the most common points of criticism was the derailment of Kes. In a controversial and ill-considered statement, the executive producer stated for the record, "well, she's blond, right?"

Q (looks at Icheb): "So, it's worse than it appeared".

Janeway: "I'm afraid so".

Q: "No...Why was I so foolish?"

Janeway: "I'm sorry, Q. We'll get you a new supply".

Q: "I can't believe Icheb drank it all. Why did I tell him where I put it?!"

Doctor: "He's going to have one hell of a hangover when he wakes up".

Chakotay: "So...according to this, ship's policy in cases of double crew mutation is for affected crewmembers to have a litter of babies together".

(long pause)

Neelix: "......Why were Tom and the captain lizards again?"

Chakotay: "...I don't know..."

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Harry: "How you doing?"
Chaotica: "He actually thinks he's going to score with this girl."
Blonde: "Not a chance!"

T'Vorik: "Why is this replicator issuing nothing but tiny butt-plugs?"

Kes: "Tom you naughty boy"

Q Jr: “Ok, Ok I will not torment the emotionally frail”

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Q Jr: “I didn't do it, no one saw me do it, there's no way you can prove anything!”

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Next time on General Hospital.....

And so Kes, believing that the secrets of the mysterious suitcase were about to be revealed to her, slowly opened the case. Unfortunately before she was able to learn anything, John Travolta shot her dead.

This week on Project Runway:
Chaotica: "What a bitch! Didn't she wear that last week as well?? Did she think we wouldn't notice?"

 

[T'Girl]

Choatica (to his minions): "It's not working, he just keeps telling me that he's into this kind of stuff."

Kes: "Okay Neelix, but just this one time."

 

[Isis]

Vorik: "This Botox will keep your skin as youthful as mine."

Janeway (OS): "But I'm from Earth. I'd like to have more than one facial expression in my repetoire."

 

[PointyHairedJedi]

In which we realise my photoshopping skills are rubbish:

Neelix: How do they do it?
Chakotay: How do we watch it?
Neelix: Why do we watch it?
Chakotay: Why do you watch it?

 

[Rett Mikhal]

Just because I can't resist the look on his face.

Chaotica: "HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGAN!!!"

Vorik: "Dude, I'm OK to drive."

Kes' reaction video to 2 girls 1 cup.

Q2: "Gordon Street? Ah, yes, Gordon Street. I once knew a girl who lived on Gordon Street. Long time ago, when I was a young man. Not a day passes I don't think her and the promise that I made which I will always keep. That one perfect day on Gordon Street... Oh, and Icheb will be fine. Just give him some purified water and salt."

Chakotay: "See, right there! Dress like a Zombie Day is OCTOBER 31st, not November! We look like total fools!"

 

[Captain Crow]

Chakotay: Look, the Jell-o cart.

Neelix: WHAT!?

Chakotay: I said! Look! The Jell-o cart!

Neelix: WHAT!?

Chakotay: I SAID! LOOK! THE JELL-O CART!.

Neelix: WHAT!?

[Chakotay punches Neelix in the face. Neelix hits the floor.]

[beat]

Neelix: WHAT!?

 

[SPCTRE]

When Kes taunted the Doctor about the... limitations of his holographic manifestation, she was in for quite a surprise.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MARTIN RAYNER: ( whispering): I thought you said I'd be working with professionals

 

[Smellincoffee]

Vorik: "Whoops! Don't look now girls, the major's just minced in with that dolly colour sergeant! Two three, ooooh!"
Tuvok, OS: "Right! Stop that! Silly. And a bit suspect, I think."

 

[LeadHead]

Chakotay: Someday this all will be yours!

Neelix: What, the curtains?

 

[Supernuke]

Neelix: Commander, have you been fooling around with Kes?

Chakotay: No... of course not!!

Neelix: Come on, Chakotay! Everyone knows what Ocompan Herpes does to your skin!!