Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #235: The One With the Mengele Hologram In It

[Orac]

Welcome to the all new Star Trek Voyager Caption Contest!

This contest will feature pictures from the 5th season episode of Star Trek Voyager: Nothing Human

But first, here are the winners of the last contest:

@Leviathan wins the Captain's Choice Prize with:

Tuvok: Without a Chakotay picture that just leaves inevitable fart and holo-dick captions!


So many great fart jokes, but the winner of the Best Fart Joke Prize is @tharpdevenport with:

After several hours of being trapped inside a malfunctioning turbolift and breathing in his own farts, Tuvok soon realizes they create a hallucinogenic affect...


@Captain Crow wins the Best Crossover Award with:

@tharpdevenport also wins Third Prize with:

When it's been fourteen years since your last pon farr and you're desperate...

@Herbert wins Second Prize with:

"I know what you're thinking. And yes, I am this awesome."

And the winner is @Laura Cynthia Chambers with:

Torres: "What are you doing?"
Seven: "Practicing my tie-in novel face."


Here're th' new pictures:

Bonus Picture:

 

[Oddish]

Ouch... I got rekt this time out. Congratulations to the victors.

TOM: "I saw it, Captain. He adjusted his holographic parameters so that he has a tattoo of your face right there."
JANEWAY: "Tom, do I want to know why you happened to see the doctor... ah, out of uniform?"
EMH: "You really don't, captain."

MOSET: "But... you said you weren't going to 'probe' any more helpless ensigns!"
EMH: "I'm not. Mr. Paris was reinstated to lieutenant last week."

JANEWAY: "You are not using a Rigellian ether bong on my ship, and that's final. Now put it away!"
HARRY: "Yes, mom."

KIRK: "Ju-u-udo... CHOP!!!"

 

[tharpdevenport]

Thanks for the wins.

Man, was the Fart Joke award created just because of me?

Doctor: "And here you see the results of when Captain Janeway's space diarrhea came raging back. Where will you be indeed."

Tom: "Pull muy finger?"

Janeway: "Id' rather not. It's just not the same with Tuvok."

Alien: "Scanning device?"

Doctor: "Suppository. Now bend over..."

♫ Walk like an Egyptian... ♫

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

Thanks! (To be honest, that wasn't the one of mine I thought might win).

Paris: "Stick 'em up! Ha ha! Gotcha!"
Janeway: "Precisely whom are you trying to fool, Mr. Paris; the captain, who can clearly see your finger phaser, or the hologram, who is wholly incapable of feeling the pressure of a fake weapon's barrel against his body?"
Paris: "Man, is everybody on this ship taking Tuvok/Seven lessons?"

Janeway: "Only you can prevent starship fires."

 

[Oddish]

Thanks! (To be honest, that wasn't the one of mine I thought might win).

My winning caption a couple months back (about the Tribble farm) was just as surprising to me.

 

[Oddish]

EMH: "Yes, this one is a particular favorite of mine. After Mr. Paris turned his holodeck date into a cow, Ensign Kim retaliated by placing an explosive charge in the manure pile outside Fair Haven's milking shed, then setting it off as Mr. Paris walked by. The results were... messy."

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

EMH: "The secret to a good meringue is a skillful hand on the whisk...like so."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Computer: "Incoming holo-transmission from Lt. Tuvok, safeties disengaged."

FAAAAAARRRRRTTTTT

Janeway: "Computer, end holo-transmission!!!"

Tom: "But … didn't Tuvok just fart in that thing for an hour while giving you a security update?"

Mistress Janeway: "Listen … just sit your ass down, Nick. Don't be a Harry."

 

[Orac]

My winning caption a couple months back (about the Tribble farm) was just as surprising to me.

That's what you get for letting a humour deviant judge the contest.

 

[Oddish]

I didn't say it was an unpleasant surprise. And my humor's not exactly mainstream.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Janeway: "Kate? Kate's not here, man."

 

[Finn]

Disembodied voice of Tuvix: "Janeway....I'm bored"

Janeway: Stay in the candle holder. Remember what happened the last time I caught you trying to access the Fair Haven holoprogram from here?

Tuvix: *whispers*

 

[Herbert]

@Orac Thanks for the win

 

[Herbert]

Spock: Captain, your vogue needs work. Your body is not moving to the music.

 

[Herbert]

Janeway: ooh, coffee aroma therapy

 

[Herbert]

Paris: You see Doc, there's this antique chocolate fondue fountain that I just couldn't properly synch with Voyager's power systems and ..... well ..........
EMH: Fondue? More like fondon't by the looks of it

 

[Laura Cynthia Chambers]

EMH: "Welcome to this week's installation of my lecture series on Human nature, Miscreants and Misanthropes of the Late 23rd Century. This week, we will be discussing Harcourt Fenton Mudd...Mr. Paris! Why did you add your personal photos to my slideshow?"
Paris: "Hey, in my defense, Doc, all I heard was the word 'Mud'..."

Captain's personal log, supplemental: Why did I ever agree to moonlight as an artist's model? I don't need the money, or the glory. Oh, that's right...a pretty sculptress.

 

[Leviathan]

@Orac Thanks for the CSA!

The Collector:

 

[Leviathan]

EMH: ...and this picture is from the time I convinced him mud was a cure for syhpillis.

 

[Leviathan]

Moset: Orac's pretty much guaranteed a holo-dick cpation bonanza.
EMH: They may go with the "prob-u-lator" option...