Contest: ENTER Voyager Caption Contest #164 Sometimes Wednesday feels like Monday

[Catarina]

Well Smellin coffee is in the house , Janeway.

Janeway: Do I smell coffee?
Kim: WATCH THE ROAD PLEASE.


A win for Finn and frakes

MULGREW: "What am I -- Fay Wray??? -- that you expect me to act all-convincingly against these shitty-assed Special Effects?"
BRAGA: Have you been slipping in some scotch in your coffee again? All you can see is the green screen.

I might as well give half the pie to triskelion he's won twice. duke out the other half with Finn.

Celes: It's asking for your authorization, but for some reason it's not accepting Janeway Pi Alpha.
Janeway: That's P-I-E - for pecan pie. It's basically the best pie.

Not sure who is worse, Trisk. you for thinking it or me for me encouraging you with fits of laughter

Bily: - and these things always seem to happen to me, like the time I had Tellarian Space Rickets but no one ever visited me in the hospital even though it was summer holiday -
Kat: I'm just going to go ahead and... <activates force field>
Bily: Oh well, a little claustrophobic but I guess I won't panic too badly if you're here...so tell me about where you grew up, or...?
Kat: Let me just set this.... <drawer closes>
Kat: Yeeaah.

AC2T ha!

Crewman: That's the biggest one I've ever seen....
Janeway: Lieutenants Cheech and Chong, get over here... NOW!

I love all the effort you put into these, Nerys

JANEWAY: This idiot a friend of yours Tom?

YES! Another reference I knew without googling! Our top winner this round, Tenacity

Janeway: "Where's Alderaan?"

This looks like that scene. Congrats!


This round

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"What are we doing in Philadelphia?"

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win...

Janeway: Tell them that if they don't back off, we'd beam over clones of Neelix

Tuvok: This one seems to be experiencing the effects of severe withdrawal from caffeine.

Chakotay: ....the captain..

 

[Tenacity]

"There not much there, kind of thin and transparent."
"Don't worry, after several episodes the character becomes more substantial."

Paris: "No way I'm parking anywhere around here."

Chakotay: "We should take them back to the ship."
Tuvok: "Perhaps we should wait until after the Captain and Mr. Paris cease having sex."

 

[2takesfrakes]

... WooHOO!!! Thanks for the win! >: )

TUVOK: "Commander, it is my understanding that you and Seven are - to use an Earth term - 'getting it on.'"

CHAKOTAY: "I don't know where you heard that, Tuvok, because we've tried keeping it quiet, but yes. We are."

TUVOK: "I am very close to experiencing an unaccustomed Human emotion, Commander."

CHAKOTAY: "... And what emotion is that, Tuvok?"

TUVOK: "Envy."

 

[Nerys Myk]

Dude. Either we need to cut back or increase

TUVOK: Translation matrix has kicked it. It's asking the other one "Was it good for you?"
CHAKOTAY: That one's Paris.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

TUVOK: The tricorder indicates traces of human DNA. I believe these beings are the Captain and Lt. Paris

CHAKOTAY: It also indicates that whatever they've become doesn't have the cranial capacity to develop warp travel. The Prime directive is clear...C'mon, Tuvok, let's go...

TUVOK: But, Commander...

CHAKOTAY: << walking away >> Bye, Katherine....

 

[Triskelion]

Thanks for the wins, Catarina! And the kind words! Pie for everyone! (Hope you like lemon meringue, it's basically the best pie).

Man: Taking a while.
Seven: I get that all the time.

Tuvok: It appears that after a million years, humans become kimodo dragons.
Chakotay: I wonder what Vulcans will become? I know, every seven years they'll turn into horny toads.

 

[Jedman67]

TOM: "OK, I FIXED THE REPLICATOR! TRY IT NOW!"
<BEAT>
TOM: "Oops!"

 

[Finn]

TUVOK: The tricorder indicates traces of human DNA. I believe these beings are the Captain and Lt. Paris

CHAKOTAY: It also indicates that whatever they've become doesn't have the cranial capacity to develop warp travel. The Prime directive is clear...C'mon, Tuvok, let's go...

TUVOK: But, Commander...

CHAKOTAY: << walking away >> Bye, Katherine....

That means Picard blew his chance to ditch Riker and Beverly...

 

[Triskelion]

Paris: This very same thing happened in a Captain Proton story I was in last week.
Janeway: What did you do?
Paris: Nothing, I was having sex at the time.
Janeway: Satan's Robot?
Paris: No it wasn't with Satan's Robot.

 

[Nerys Myk]

NEELIX: But I thought campfires are supposed to be fun?

 

[Finn]

Chakotay: The Captain is pregnant with two more babies. Bring them back and put the babies in the incubation chamber. Then the writers will forget about them.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Guy on Right: "When will that sex robot finally finished materializing?"

Guy on Left: "Ugh. That's the last time I use AOL subspace dial up."

 

[Triskelion]

Kim: Desolation...ruin....
Paris: No signs of any civilized activity
Tuvok: It appears we can leave this planet and move onto next week's mission safely and soundly, having avoided all possible danger.
Janeway: Oh look, a Starbucks. Pull over.
Crew: Crap!

 

[Finn]

Captain's Log: We have found ourselves in a parallel reality where a late 20th and early 21st century real estate tycoon, a Donald Trump, was elected president instead of Ted Cruz. We are currently flying over what is left of New York City with Andorian patrol in pursuit.

 

[stardream]

Seven: Ensign Kim, your obsession has ceased to be amusing. I promise I will return to Voyager. Reintegrate my pattern NOW.

Another civilization shot to hell, another boring day in the life of Voyager.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Ellen Griswold: This is so dangerous, Clark. We have no business being in this neighborhood.

Clark Griswold: Oh I don't know, hon. It gives us a chance to see a part of America we don't get to see.

Ellen Griswold: That's a GOOD thing!

Clark Griswold:: Not it's not. We can't just ignore the plight of the inner cities. See the plight kids?

[gun shots and a scream are heard]

Clark Griswold:: Roll em' up!

 

[Finn]

Commander Griswold: This is so dangerous, Clark. We have no business being in this neighborhood.

Captain Griswold: Oh I don't know, hon. It gives us a chance to see a part of the Federation we don't get to see.

Commander Griswold: That's a GOOD thing!

Captain Griswold:: Not it's not. We can't just ignore the plight of the colonies. See the plight kids?

[phaser shots and a scream are heard]

Captain Griswold:: Roll em' up!

Fixed

 

[Triskelion]

Paris: Tuvok, before I die, I just want the answer to one question!
Tuvok: I cannot imagine a less interesting subject of conversation.
Paris: Oh come on, Tuvok - it's a riddle for the ages!
Tuvok: I am certain I will regret this. Very well, what is it, Lieutenant.
Paris: Remember when we saw that supernova, and we all stood on the bridge clapping?
Tuvok: Sigh. Yes.
Paris: Which god was pleased with our approval?
Tuvok: The answer is "None of them", Mister Paris.
Paris: You're so wise. You're like if Mace Windu and Yoda had a baby.

Paris: Tuvok, before I die, I just want the answer to one other question!
Tuvok: If you don't mind, I am preparing to incinerate to ashes.
Paris: Oh come on, Tuvok - hear this one out. I promise, you won't regret it.
Tuvok: I am certain that I will, despite the fact that I cannot stop you.
Paris: Remember when Jeff Goldbloom's DNA got mixed up with that fly?
Tuvok: You are referring to The Fly.
Paris: No, it was a movie. He played a scientist who invented the transporter that had a problem.
Tuvok: Yes. The Fly.
Paris: Right! A fly was the problem. Do you remember what that movie was called?
Tuvok: It was The Fly.
Paris: No, not that one with their weird mutant son.
Tuvok: Actually that was The Fly II.
Paris: No, I know it was also a fly in that one
Tuvok: No, it was The Fly II, the sequel. Like Father Lke Son. It featured a second fly.
Paris: I know it had a fly too, but I don't think the second fly had a sequel called Like Father Lke Son. But what was the original one called?
Tuvok: The Fly. The original Fly.
Paris: Right, the original fly and Seth Brundle. When they mingled DNA they became the Fly.
Tuvok: This is what I am telling you.
Paris: But what was it called?
Tuvok: The original movie? The one with Brundlefly?
Paris: That's it! The Brundlefly.
Tuvok: Sigh. I miss Neelix.