Voyager Caption contest #141: Couples

[Catarina]

Neelix: Fine, if I'm not appreciated here, I'll just sleep on my ship!

Neelix walks away.

Tuvok: Tuvok to Bridge. Prepare to execute program Tuvok Zeta 3.

Paris: (over comm) Dump a ship out of the shuttlebay then go to warp 9?

Tuvok: Precisely.

Janeway: My God, even your farts smell beautiful.

Tuvok: "Mr. Neelix, what are you doing up so late?"

Neelix: "Oh, Kes kicked me out of her quarters again."

Tuvok: "Funny, sensors indicate you have never been in her quarters."

Neelix: "Hug me, I'm lonely."

Tuvok: Taps his comm badge, "Tuvok to ensign Kim, you are needed on deck four."

And then I'll tell you all about the Great Forest where all your Drone friends will be waiting for you.

Janeway: Oh Heaven of Mine! Assimilate me into your collective!
Seven: Oh Arachnia! Entangle me in your web!
Paris: Computer, save program under "Best Case Scenario"!

Doc: A Chimpanzee and 2 Trainees ... sounds like the rest of my staff!

Worth every minute in MSpaint our Top winner is TharpDevenport:

Admiral Gordon Ramsay: "You call that fucking Leola root?! I wouldn't feed that to my targ!"

The photo with Seven, that's that dude from "Retrospect".

 

[stardream]

These things aren't supposed to smell!

How cute. He's trying to act like he has an actual purpose on this ship.

What do you mean 'you won't comply'?

Harry Harry Harry. How many times do I have to tell you...that's not how it works.

 

[A Chimpanzee & 2 Trainees]

Crewman: I tried to warn you, man. If you dance with Seven, SHE leads!

I said activate the Emergency Holographic Doctor, not Boxer!

400 year old technology, and they STILL can't get Siri right.

Janeway: You know, Commander - <Raises her eyebrow> There's more than one way to earn my respect on this ship.

Chakotay: We send the Doctor to Starfleet, and this is what we get back. Wrong attachment, my butt! How does Lt. COMMANDER Barclay, sound ?!

Janeway: <Grabs his posterior> Nothing wrong with that attachment.

Chakotay: Computer, End Program... and Encrypt.

 

[Drone]

Zimmerman: You failed as a doctor and you expect me to believe you actually know how you're modulated now? Go ahead, I think my chin can take the "damage"!!!

Janeway: Very good, my obedient drone! You've been programmed to display the deference due me at all times, and I've even gotten you to display your lame version of a smile while doing it!!

Kovin: Not a half bad hook you've got there! You know I've seen this transmission a few times of this rocking combined fighting techniques competition. What do you say you let bygones be bygones, we'll train you up and with me as your manager, we'll clean up against those slobs they usually run out there?

Paris: Harry, let me explain something to you. If you really expect to get your supper in this hellhole, you're just going to have to be my submissive!! I know it stinks buddy, sort of, but that's just the way it seems to work around here.

 

[JirinPanthosa]

DOCTOR: Wait. You're the reason I keep thinking about Dabo girls? I tried to delete that subroutine five times!
ZIMMERMAN: Is he seriously complaining about his *good taste*?

CHAKOTAY: I don't see why my fellow Maquis don't just settle down and accept Starfleet values.
JANEWAY: Good boy.

Seven of Nine confronts the ship's tailor.

KIM: Hey Tommyboy? Startin' to think your experience of a Starfleet prison doesn't apply in this case.
TOM: No, no. You just have to find the ringleader, and beat him at tennis. Then they'll leave us alone.

 

[Nebusj]

Doctor: ``Wait ... so ... when I was a civilian I wore gramma's sensible light sweater?''

Chakotay: ``I ... I just ... I think that ... in this particular case ... about this point ... it might be ... that the Captain ... that Captain Janeway ... might just be ... be mistaken ... ''

[ Janeway lightly growls ]

Chakotay: ``... about how brilliantly right she is.''

[ Janeway shifts to purring ]

Seven: ``Invisible recumbent bicycles are irrelevant.''

Paris: ``And the worst part about being stuck here? We're missing Free Promotion Day!''
Kim: ``Aw, man!''

 

[Triskelion]

T4TWSA, The Perfect Gift!

EMH: Two more centimeters! Please!
Zimmerman: Yeahhhhhhh, no.

Chakotay: Neelix, we want to come on Mornings with Neelix to promote our new hit TV Detective Show, Chucko & the Kracken. Guess which one I am?
Neelix: Ok but Naomi Wildman's worked up a tight five on bumpy headed aliens and if she runs long....

Seven: I do not put out like a broken plasma injector puts out tachyon particles!
Torres: I can't believe he said that to you!
Seven: I know! Everybody knows a broken plasma injector puts out tetryon particles!

Paris: Harry, the first rule of prison is -
Kim: Keep your head down and keep your nose clean?
Paris: No -
Kim: Pick a fight with the biggest, toughest guy in the place?
Paris: Hells no! It's -
Kim: Do the warden's taxes? Buddy up to the big magic bl - bald guy? Shiv a crackhead?
Paris: The hell's wrong with you! It's shaving, Harry.
Kim: Shaving?
Paris: Your bunghole - before you duct tape it shut.


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[2takesfrakes]

R0BERT: "You know, I was just telling Kate, here, that I, uh - yeah - that starting next season, maybe, I'm looking forward to Chakotay becoming, you know, much more of a significant force on Voyager ..."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Ah, cool, I won twice. Too bad I have zero ideas for this round's images right now.

 

[Catarina]

Ah, cool, I won twice. Too bad I have zero ideas for this round's images right now.

It happens And the week has only begun.

 

[Triskelion]

EMH: My assistant always has a smile for everyone and is a constant source of optimism and encouragement.
Zimmerman: Gets on your nerves, don't it.
EMH: Like you wouldn't believe.
Zimmerman: Date her - it'll clear that condition right up.

Janeway: Mister Ambassador, may I present my first officer Commander Chakotay.
Chakotay: I like Frankenberry.
Janeway: And that's why you should never send your first officer to divert power from the warp core shielding without first checking if he knows how to roll under a blast door.

 

[Hutchy01]

EMH: My assistant always has a smile for everyone and is a constant source of optimism and encouragement.
Zimmerman: Gets on your nerves, don't it.
EMH: Like you wouldn't believe.
Zimmerman: Date her - it'll clear that condition right up.

EMH: It's Admiral Paris oldest son!

 

[tharpdevenport]

Older EMH: "Stop looking at my bald spot!"

Doct: "My leering is merely a simulation."

Older EMH: "So is my bald spot. Stop it anyway!"

 

[stardream]

EMH: My assistant always has a smile for everyone and is a constant source of optimism and encouragement.
Zimmerman: Gets on your nerves, don't it.
EMH: Like you wouldn't believe.
Zimmerman: Date her - it'll clear that condition right up.

EMH: It's Admiral Paris oldest son!

I was going to say that one could go either way until the 'date her' line.

 

[Leviathan]

Zimmerman: Computer, deactivate the Emergency Medical Insurance Salesman. Hmm, 'nuther failure. Maybe I'll try an emergency medical...administrator! YES.

 

[Triskelion]

EMH: Pops, now that I've got a Pops, I can ask the questions no one could answer for me.
Zim: I want to commit suicide, may as well try Death by Ennui.
EMH: Why is the sky blue?
Zim: Science.
EMH: Why did John Henry die?
Zim: Science.
EMH: What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object?
Zim: Science.
EMH: Where do babies come from?
Zim: Science.
EMH: Why do our phasers go pew pew pew in vacuum?
Zim: Science.
EMH: Why did Mother leave us?
Zim: Science.
EMH: How can we know if ghosts are real?
Zim: Seance.
EMH: Who watches the watchers?
Zim: Science.
EMH: What do Tholians poop?
Zim: Science.
EMH: Why do we always burn pot roasts?
Zim: Science.
EMH: Why does our captain piss off every fleet of superior alien ships she encounters?
Zim: - Is she on her period?
EMH: Wha- I don't think so.
Zim: Then...science.
EMH: Thanks, now I know why I can't get a date.
Zim: Bald.


http://www.trekbbs.com//www.pinterest.com/pin/create/extension/

 

[Smellincoffee]

The moment Chakotay realized he could bail on the ship and leave behind a less functional but still passable clone of himself.

Seven: If you could work on Saturday, that would great. Mmkay?

 

[Catarina]

Seven: I don't care if your car sucks on unplowed country roads. I expect you to come in on time!

(based on a true story as I watched my boss chew out a young employee who drove a Saturn on a day of two feet of snow and plows were behind schedule)

 

[hux]

Thanks for the win honey bunny.

Zimmerman: Nothing's happening.

Doctor: You're doing it wrong. You need to get a tighter grip like this then keep tugging.

Janeway: Apparently these aliens live on a planet where everything is beige and charisma has been outlawed. I thought you'd enjoy some shore-leave here.

Seven: Hadouken!!

Paris: This finger.

Kim: And she liked it.

Paris: You tell me.

Kim: How

Paris: Smell it.

 

[Catarina]

Janeway: Apparently these aliens live on a planet where everything is beige and charisma has been outlawed. I thought you'd enjoy some shore-leave here.

Chakotay: And if I'm not mistaken you told me you look better in beige and you think you're charismatic yet you only attract selfish men with other agendas, which I believe contradicts, so I guess we'll be heading there together.