Voyager Caption Contest #132: Three's a Crowd

[Catarina]

I had a caption for this below then decided to continue the theme on all :-)

Alien: are we leaving sometime today?
EMH: The Captain is a bit more cautious when entering a Turbo lift since her encounter with LT. Lizard Paris.

This planet reminds me of the one you left my children on. <i>you'll pay.</I>

Janeway: I can't remember if it was here or on the planet when we conceived the lizards. Tom?
Paris: I thought we agreed never mention it.

Paris: Hey, the Captain says you don't come back without her lizard children. Belanna has me obligated to pull double dad duty so don't look too hard.
Chak: Which is it Paris, quick or doddle? jeez.

Capt. Jenkins: You, who does no harm let the Commander leave my children on some unknown world. I'm taking who you love for recompense. See how it feels to have a void in your heart...matrix...whatever.

 

[ThankQ]

"I've been practicing this new phrase and gesture for when we get underway. Tell me what you think:
Engage!"

"Come up with that on your own, did ya?"

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: They're beads, Mister Paris. Not a ripcord.

Kim: This would be an ideal location for a Starbucks.
Chakotay: And this would be an ideal location for - another Starbucks.
Paris: Any luck yet? The Captain said don't beam back without her latte.

Janeway: Computer, one sandwich.
Computer: Please specify.
Janeway: Chicken breast between two slices of crusty white bread with a non-kosher pickle on the side.
<holoprogram compiles>
Janeway: Computer, play wah-wah music.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Janeway: I've come a long way, baby!
Paris: Yeah but getting lost on the other side of the galaxy isn't what they meant....

Wrong hand!

Janeway: What?

 

[Nerys Myk]

I can quit any time I want!

 

[Catarina]

I can quit any time I want!

"Sure thing, Kate. Now pass one of those over."

 

[2takesfrakes]

Robert Duncan McNeill: "Kate, just because I'm directing this episode, doesn't mean that you can get away with all kinds of crazy shit on the set, you know."

 

[hux]

Janeway: Fancy a fag?
Paris: No, and I really don't think you should use such an offensive word to describe Chakotay.

 

[Catarina]

Janeway: Fancy a fag?
Paris: No, and I really don't think you should use such an offensive word to describe Chakotay.

Damn, I should have announced my new award sooner! You'll find out next round.

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: Fancy a shag?

PARIS: Judging by the cigs, you've already had more than one.

 

[Avro Arrow]

Janeway: Good news, gentlemen. I no longer have a crippling coffee addiction!

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: We're trapped in the Delta Quadrant 70,000 light years from home with a ship full of terrorists.

JANEWAY: Looks like I picked the wrong week to give up smoking.

 

[Hutchy01]

Chakotay: When I said I needed you to blow on something for me I didn't mean this!

 

[Nebusj]

It's always so awkward coming face-to-face with your stunt double.

Hey! On your left! Wormhole just opened up! Looks like it's gonna take you right to Albany, New York! Hurry up, before it close --- never mind.

Once again, Janeway hears something she can't un-hear about Neelix's anatomy.

Janeway: ``The coast is clear. We can practice line dancing.''

Kim: ``It's a solid, inanimate block of impenetrable granite.''
Paris: ``That's Chakotay. What do you make of the memorial?''

 

[Hutchy01]

Kim: ``It's a solid, inanimate block of impenetrable granite.''
Paris: ``That's Chakotay. What do you make of the memorial?''

Chakotay: It can act better than me!

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: So it's a week of replicator rations on how Harry dies. Tom?
Tom: Running toward a hull breach.
Janeway: Chakotay?
Chakotay: Self-inflicted brain hemorrhage involving clowns.
Janeway: And I have clarinet impalement by a senior officer.
Tom: Shouldn't we be betting on whether he dies at all before we get home?
...
All: <Laugh>

 

[Triskelion]

Janeway: Two headboards...you are such an idiot.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Paris: "My understanding is that the cigarettes represent the male penis and by putting one in your mouth and double fisting more that you have a deep urge and desire to have sex with Chacotay."

 

[Catarina]

Paris: "My understanding is that the cigarettes represent the male penis and by putting one in your mouth and double fisting more that you have a deep urge and desire to have sex with Chacotay."

Janeway: sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.
Paris: To quote a comedian from the 20th century, "and sometimes it's a big brown dick." (everyone looks awkwardly at Chakotay.)

 

[Catarina]

tonight, I pick the not so fun part of narrowing down all these funny entries. I am not promising a new post. it's up when it's up ;-)