Voyager Caption Contest 121: Something's Wrong Here

[Captain Kathryn]

Greetings Voyager fans,

So sorry the new contest is late!!!!!!!! Haha. Here are the winners and the new contest!

Tom: Vulcan or not, you can't go the whole trip without pooping.

Janeway: Is that your hand on my ass?
Chakotay: Yesssss
Janeway: You have half an hour to stop that!

EMH: "Are you ready to lambada?"
Seven: "Are you prepared to spend the next four hours rewriting your groin subroutine?"
EMH: "The waltz it is."

NEELIX: You're not still mad about the Leola Root Pie, are you?
TUVOK: Will...kill...you...someday.

BELTRAN: So it's a bet. Whoever's character conveys the fewest emotions wins.

Chakotay: Here's to Neelix's death
Tuvok: Indeed

Chakotay: I'm looking forward to this
Tuvok: As am i
Chakotay: I can't believe it took us this long to finally drink each others urine

Neelix: "Mr. Vulcan, what are you lookng for under here?"
Tuvok: "The Enterprise caption contest. I have an overwhelming urge to make Archer look foolish."
Neelix: "I'm sorry, Mr. Vulcan, but the contest has been gone for months. And Archer already looks foolish."

Caption Contest mockery award!

Neelix: What's wrong?
Tuvok: I'm hammered ever since Tom Paris added three shots for every time someone says "new caption contest tonight!" without actually doing it, to our weekly drinking game.

Janeway: Commander, is that a caption contest in your uniform or are you just happy to see me?

_________________________

YES IT'S FINALLY HERE! THE NEW CAPTION CONTEST! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

w00t!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Nerys Myk]

JANEWAY: I brought cookies

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Hirogen: We represent the Lollipop League!!!!

 

[AgentCoop]

Chakotay: You really don't hear that?
B'ellana: Hear what?
Chakotay: That annoying flute music that plays whenever I get spiritual.

Finally, the day The Doctor had been dreading for years arrived. It was time for Neelix's prostate exam.

Emergency Command Hologram: It's agreed then. In return for safe passage through your space, Voyager will trade our two most useless crew members.

It was always awkward when Chakotay woke up and couldn't remember the name of his one night stand.

Janeway: Oh! I didn't know you were bringing your friends along. I should've bought more beer.

 

[Schistocerca]

And the winner of the annual Joey Tribbiani "Smell The Fart" acting award goes to.....Robert Beltran

The Doctor, enjoying one of his "Sub" routines

Harry: You mean not one girl has turned up to our speed dating night?

"Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur"

Janeway: And in the spirit of intergalactic cohabitation we would like to present you with this tuna casserole

 

[Drone]

All right Seven!!! I get your point about not overindulging. DAMN CHELL'S RED ALERT CHILI!!! Where the hell is the can around here!!!!!

 

[Triskelion]

Chakotay: Sh! A ship approaches. Warp - no, quantum singularity warp reactors. Crew complement - 1014. Starboard ramscoop due for anionic purge. Romulans.
Torres: How do you know all that? Some kind of Indian tracker spirit guide mumbo jumbo?
Chakotay: Yeah, that's it.
Torres: So, not Spacebook.
Chakotay: ...Right.

EMH: Doctor to Torres - what the hell!
Torres: I warned you if you condescended to me again I'd update your firmware with a Ken doll subroutine.
EMH: But did it have to be Malibu Ken?

Alien: Ever wonder if interplanetary diplomacy was just an excuse for a world to shoot its biggest assholes into deep space?
Neelix: Not until now!

Lady: New tattoo?
Chakotay: Star map. This one is Leo.
Lady: DiCaprio?
Chakotay: Who else?

Hirogen: We agreed to laser tag and a Star Wars cake.

 

[Drone]

OK guys, I have seen the end of "The Wild Bunch" and it is thrilling, but we're trying to do something constructive here! See, this thing I've brought? It's called Etch-A-Sketch.......

 

[2takesfrakes]

"No - wait a minute, B'Elanna! Be silent, for a moment! I'm having a vision, here. I'm not kidding!

Wait ...

I see ... wait, give me a moment ... yes!

OK, I see a door. An Art Deco Door. Right, I see myself openning the door to you, B'Elanna. Inside, there's a ...there's the full moon that's kind of squashy-looking, for some reason. And it's embedded in a nebula, of some kind. Now, there are sleighdogs ... three ENORMOUS, well-groomed sleighdogs and they're all howling at the moon! I believe they represent my desire to whisk you away, into the night. Wait ..."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHAKOTAY: Did someone authorize Neelix to pilot the ship?

TORRES: No, why?

CHAKOTAY: Run!

 

[Bob Karo]

Chakotay: The band? The Band..... The BAND!

 

[Armored Saint]

The first time the EMH seen himself in a mirror.
EMH: Why didn't somebody tell me I was losing my hair?

 

[JirinPanthosa]

ANCIENT SPIRIT: Chakotay...you have brought disgrace to your ancestors through your rampantly stereotypical behavior.

When Paris gets annoyed with the Doctor he secretly writes new groin pain subroutines into his program.

KIM: With only three people left on the ship, I'm finally Captain.
VOICE OF JANEWAY: If you are hearing this recording, Harry Kim is now the highest ranking officer left on the ship. For the sake of the lives of the remaining crew, in this eventuality I have arranged for the ECH to activate automatically and his rank to be immediately elevated to lieutenant.
KIM: COME ON!

CHAKOTAY: Good, you put on the wig. Perfect. Now, call me Commander, and tell me I've been a bad boy.

HIROGEN: Farewell. Maybe one day your species will evolve to the point where you can form an entire culture around murdering people. And then our two peoples can truly be friends.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Hirogen: Captain, we've got you cornered in the cargo bay, and we're not leaving until you tell us who put the bomp in the bomp ba bomp ba bomp.

 

[Triskelion]

Torres: So how are the new away team diapers working out?
Chakotay: I can't go with you watching me!

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

B'elanna: Chakotay, what's wrong?

Chakotay: It's the RIAA! They found my pirated stash of "Greatest Hits of the Hammond Organ"! I'm doomed!

 

[LeadHead]

Chakotay: What is that?! It's moving so erratically through the sky!

Torres: Our ride.

Paris: (over comm) Delta Flyer to Away Team, ready to take you back to Voyager.

ECH: Thank you for coming aboard. I'm the Emergency Command Hologram and these are the only other crewmembers who cared to meet you.

Nobody knew that while Chakotay was unconscious, Riley used Borg technology to brainwash him to be attracted to Blond Borg Women until after "Endgame" Aired.

Janeway: I'm glad you brought your weapons to this diplomatic negotiation. It makes it much easier to do this: Janeway to Bridge, Fire!

 

[Finn]

B'elanna: Glad we were able to beam out so quickly. It was getting hot

Chakotay: Amazing... There must be some volatile particles in this planet's air. The trailing plasma flames are unusually bright and colorful. Only if more of my crashes were like this.

 

[Drone]

Chakotay: What was that?? No, no, not the pan flute!! That crap isn't in this episode!!! Akoocheem, akichey, coochie coo, oh WTF!!!!!!

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for the win!

Chakotay: "The new caption contest-it's, it's beautiful!"