VOY Line-By-Line (New Dialogue) Game - Twisted

[hux]

Here's a new game I wanna try.

Basically it's the line-by-line game where you take it in turns to post dialogue from an episode (such as we did with The Gift episode).

The twist is, instead of just posting the actual line (how dull), you change it to make it much more interesting. For example if Janeway's line is...

Janeway: Evasive manoeuvers Mr. Paris. Fire photon torpedoes. Full spread.

You might change it to...

Janeway: Tom, make the ship run away and will somebody please throw all the torpedo shit we've got at these ass-hats.

The idea is, that we don’t alter the story at all; we simply change the language that is used so that it's funnier and more adult. With that in mind, try not to veer wildly away from the original purpose of the dialogue. If the next line is just one or two words then this will obviously be harder to play with but do your best. You can also do the same with the scene descriptions.

I've decided to start with the episode Twisted.

I’ve put a link to the transcript in my sig so it’s easily accessed.

 

[hux]

[Holodeck - Sandrine's]

(Kes enters. It is dark and quiet.)

KES: Hello? Anybody here? Neelix, you squirrel-faced freak, where are you?

 

[Catarina]

ALL shout: Heart Attack!
Neelix: Happy pod exit day, my mismatch partner.

 

[hux]

JANEWAY: Congratulations on the anniversary of being squeezed out of a woman's back today, Kes.

 

[Catarina]

Neelix: Imagine, you don't look like a girl with a dark secret

 

[hux]

KES: Why we're you all trying to obscure your existences.

 

[Catarina]

Paris: Oh we're dusting off an Earth custom that- well needs to go back into dust actually.

 

[hux]

JANEWAY: Sorry if we scared the shit out of you.

 

[Catarina]

Kes: Ocampa don't shit, Captain. We have an internal recycling system. That might explain why we live a short life. We're slowly becoming toxic. This party is exhilarating!

[Catarina note:]I wish I had the Janeway line. I wanted to use the "Sorry if my Pall Mall Voice scared you."
Then Kes reply, "It's exhilarating! How do you get it sensual yet squeaky at the same time?" Something like that.

 

[hux]

NEELIX: Now, how about a drink of my unique rancid bilge? Barman?

 

[Catarina]

EMH: I'm a Doctor. Not a Coyote. (*ref to Bar in movie Coyote Ugly)

 

[Tim Thomason]

KES: "Doctor! Oh God, could this day get any worse?!"

 

[hux]

[Sandrine drapes herself over the EMH's shoulders.]

Sandrine: My new bar worker. Sexy fucker isn't he?

 

[Catarina]

EMH: I'm only here because a **** doesn't suck itself. (I stole it from Ron White)

 

[hux]

KES: Tragedy?

 

[Catarina]

Slow pokes, do I have to write it all myself?

EMH: I've been known to cause esophageal spasms among other risks.

[Bridge]
Meanwhile, Harry Kim bores us with his tales of woe.
Which mercifully is cut short by an inter-spatial Napster anomaly intent on doing illegal downloads and uploading viruses.

[Back at the holodeck]

 

[Catarina]

I'm going to go out on a limb and assume I'm one of Hux's favorites and therefore, momentarily hacking his thread And then head offline. Take the reigns lurkers! It's kinda fun.


Neelix: Wait until you taste this cake made of seven layers of Seven of Nine with Leola-root icing!!
(everyone looks around confused)
Janeway: Now think of something you'll never get and blow as a symbol of kissing that dream goodbye.
Kes: what would I want to see go?

Sandrine: Your relationship. Ma cherie, you could have that Mr. Paris.

Kes: I got it...{silently prepares to blow out candle}

Torres: You have to tell us! Keeping it to yourself how can we help you get it? Duh.

Gary: I love breaking up saccharine moments like this. Tommie boy, don't we have a rack to stare at?

Paris: Relax, no one wants you. Gifts are an obligation.

Kes: You felt obligated. You had better.

Tom: I know but again, how else do I solidify my claim on you?

 

[hux]

KES: Tom, it's gorgeous. You put so much effort into it, I assume you want to bone.

 

[Catarina]

Tom: Neelix was right. I am transparent.

 

[hux]

JANEWAY: May I? Oh, that's lovely. You see, it's a locket. You put little photographs in here. It keeps the people you love close to your heart.

(Chakotay gets a glass of punch at the bar.)
CHAKOTAY: Thank you.

JANEWAY: Let me see, oh it's awesome. Now I'm going to talk to you like you're an idiot and explain how lockets work.

(Chakotay gets a glass of punch at the bar.)
CHAKOTAY: Cheers.