VOY Line-By-Line (New Dialogue) Game - Twisted

[hux]

[Corridor]

NEELIX: Did you enjoy your first surprise party, sweeting?
KES: It was wonderful. Thank you.
NEELIX: I thought you'd like it. The cake, the presents. What was your favourite part?

[Corridor]

NEELIX: Did you like being reminded that you only have two more years left to live, Kes?
KES: It was great.
NEELIX: Good. What did you like most? I bet it was that fucking locket that Paris got you, wasn't it?

 

[Orac]

Kes: I suppose what I liked best was that all my friends were there.
Kneelix: Ah, that was nice, wasn't it? And don't forget that beautiful necklace Tom Paris gave you.
Kes: Do you really like it?

Kes: I liked the cake.

Kneelicks: Yes, that was quite lovely. And don't forget the VHS tape of Star Wars that Tom Paris gave you.

Kes: Yeah that was the shit!

 

[hux]

NEELIX: Oh, why wouldn't I like it? Paris obviously has excellent taste.
KES: I was afraid you might be a little jealous.
NEELIX: Who, me? Don't be silly.

NEELIX: Oh, it's great... so fucking great.
KES: Please don't beat me. I didn't do anything.
NEELIX: You know I only beat you when I get paranoid and assume that you've cheated on me. Try not to worry.

 

[Catarina]

KES: Are you sure?
NEELIX: You, my dearest, have seen the last of that green-eyed pus hog called jealousy.
KES: I'm glad.

Kes: I have my doubts
Neelix: until this mystery ring consumes us I can't promise I won't make a face or two.
Kes: uh huh.
Kes:

 

[hux]

NEELIX: Of course, Paris did replicate that locket, whereas I baked the Jibelian fudge cake from scratch.
KES: These aren't my quarters. Did we take a wrong turn somewhere?
NEELIX: I was just following you.

NEELIX: Paris doesn't give a shit about you whereas I baked a cake for you like a massive weirdo.
KES: Stop talking, freak. Where the fuck are we?
NEELIX: I was so busy being paranoid and jealous, I wasn't paying attention.

 

[Catarina]

. CREWMAN: Is everything all right, Lieutenant?
TORRES: This isn't Engineering.

Crewman: You look high again lieutenant
Torres: well maybe that explains how I got here instead of my post.

 

[hux]

[Turbolift]

JANEWAY: And have someone take a look at the turbolift voice receptors, Commander.
CHAKOTAY: Aye, Captain.

[Turbolift]

JANEWAY: Get off your arse and do some work Chuckles.
CHAKOTAY: Whatever.

 

[Catarina]

JANEWAY: This is Engineering. What's going on here?
CHAKOTAY: It looks like we're dealing with more than just a comm. system malfunction.
JANEWAY: Computer, Bridge.

Janeway: This is Engineering, you dolt!
Chakotay: It wasn't me. It was your stupid ship.
Janeway: Majel Barrett, Bridge! *maybe that'll work*

 

[hux]

[Transporter room]

TORRES: Baxter, what are you doing here?
BAXTER: I wish I knew. I'm trying to get to the cargo bay.
TORRES: And I'm trying to get to Engineering.

[Transporter room]

TORRES: Baxter, you dumbass, why are you here?
BAXTER: Cos I'm an idiot. I'm just wandering around like a tool.
TORRES: Yeah, me too.

 

[Catarina]

BAXTER: I can't find the cargo bay, and I can't find my security team. I've been wandering around for about ten minutes.
TORRES: Well, at least I know I'm not crazy. Unless we both are.

Baxter: I'm forgetful, unimaginative, and my team must have ditched me again.
TORRES: It's comforting to know I'm not crazy. I mean we're both in gold but you pissed off the EMH and I see you lost your red uniform from the second episode.

 

[hux]

BAXTER: No, something very strange is going on. Ensign Kim said we'd encountered a spatial distortion.
TORRES: Did he say what kind?
BAXTER: No, he went to find the Captain.

BAXTER: Dumbass Kim told me some weird spacey shit was happening but that guy doesn't know his arse from his elbow, so who knows?
TORRES: What kind of spacey shit?
BAXTER: He got scared and went looking for his mummy to ask her.

 

[Catarina]

TORRES: The Captain is on her way to the Bridge. But if she's having the same trouble we are, who knows if she can get there. I'm going to keep trying to get to Engineering.
BAXTER: Good luck.

Torres: She's on her way to deck one. But if her directional skills are any indication ...we're fucked.
Baxter: Good luck, Lt. Ridgy head.

 

[hux]

[Holodeck - Sandrine's]

(The EMH appears.)
EMH: The holodeck again?
SANDRINE: Ah ha!
EMH: This is infuriating.

[Holodeck - Sandrine's]

(The EMH appears.)
EMH: Not this cesspit again?
SANDRINE: Yup!
EMH: This is such bullshit.

 

[Catarina]

SANDRINE: Oh, stop playing games, ma cherie. I know why you keep coming back to work, even though your bartending shift is over. It's to see me, of course.
EMH: How many times do I have to tell you, madam? I am a doctor, not a bartender.
SANDRINE: Of course you are.
(Sandrine gets her lips on his, just as Kim enters.)

Sandrine: Oh stop play hard to get my husband.
EMH: I am NOT your husband. I'm a doctor, not a unhappily married French Peasant!
Sandrine: Delusional
(Sandrine smacks him with her ringed hand to bitterly jog his memory.)

 

[hux]

KIM: Doc?
EMH: Ensign Kim. I was just, er
SANDRINE: Playing doctor. Hi.

KIM: Slaphead?
EMH: Harry, I was just updating my subroutines.
SANDRINE: I sucked him off.

 

[Catarina]

EMH: The Captain and the others went to investigate the phenomenon Mister Tuvok reported.
KIM: So all of you heard his report before the comm. system failed?
EMH: Only a fraction of it.

EMH: Our big haired leader and the morons went to investigate this illegal download? Whatever. I'm the last to know.
Kim: So all of you were briefed?
EMH: As usual I tune out when I'm lucky to be included so only a fraction.

 

[hux]

KIM: Well, I'm sure Tuvok's filled them in with the rest by now. What are you still doing on the holodeck, besides playing doctor, that is?
EMH: For your information, I have been attempting to transfer myself back to Sickbay. But each time I try, I reappear here.
KIM: That's strange.

KIM: I'm sure pointy ears has got it covered. So what were you doing with Sandrine, you dirty dog
EMH: Boning her... I mean, trying to get out of here. I'm stuck.
KIM: That's fucked up dude.

 

[Catarina]

EMH: Not to mention extremely irritating. I can't seem to shut down Mister Paris's holoprogram either.
KIM: Computer, end holodeck programme Paris Three. Computer, arch. Either the holoemitters are malfunctioning or the computer's not accepting voice commands. I'm sorry, Doctor. I don't have time to help you right now.

EMH: Then you take her, Romeo.
Kim: Computer, end holoaddiction program: Tommyboyhorny. Computer, McArch. What the hell? This never happens to me. Oh well, not my problem. Peace out, Doc.

 

[hux]

EMH: Wait just a minute.
KIM: Hmm?
EMH: What do you think you're going.
KIM: I've got to get back to the Bridge. We're in the middle of a crisis.

EMH: Hang on you little turd.
KIM: What?
EMH: Dont you dare leave me here.
KIM: I've got important work to do. OK, no I don't but I'm still leaving.

 

[Catarina]

EMH: All the more reason I should be back in Sickbay. I'm sure that the Captain and the others will be able to do without you for a few more minutes.
KIM: I guess you're right. I'll have a look at the holocontrols.

EMH: You're a sad little organic. I demand to get back to Sickbay! The Captain doesn't even plan on promoting you anyway. Your butt kissing is in vain.
Kim: Well in that case...