VOY Caption This 87; A Wise Man Once Said...

[Ln X]

Apologies for the delays in this contest, firstly I was overworked and then when I did find some spare time Photobucket decided to act up on me.

And now; the winners...

The Bohemian Rhapsody award goes to:

[

Tom: I see a little silhouetto of a man.
Harry: Scaramouche, scaramouche, will you do the fandango?
Seven: Thunderbolts of lightning, very very frightening me.

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The implausible stories award goes to:

"She beat him to death with his own spine!"

"That doesn't seem physically possible!"

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The obsession-with-the-patient award goes to:

Kim: It wasn't necessary to beam up her whole body in tact and dethaw it just to get her Borg neural processor.
Doctor: I've waited over 30 years to get her on my operating table.

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The Tom-got-frelled award goes to:

Janeway: Mr. Paris, report!

Paris: I just got shot through a wormhole...I'm on a ship...a LIVING ship...

Janeway: Mr. Paris what are you saying? Are you drunk?

Paris: No, just frelled.

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A great take on the Leola Root Surprise;

"Well, Mr. Neelix. It seems your declaration of a banquet in honour of the Shloovians has been rejected. The last transmission from their government concerns their abject horror at your threat of Leola Root Surprise, and their decision to activate the planetary self destruct".

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And now the special award:

This is also a photoshop award to; that goes to Finn for the image and the caption goes to Nerys Myk.

PARIS: I'm getting a message. It seems we've violated something called "The Great Link'?

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Congratulations to the winners.

This week's theme is all about wisdom, witty statements and what not...

Have fun!

 

[Ln X]

Neelix starts singing Vulcan hymns...

Naturally Seven going poll-dancing in the astronomy lab generated a big turn-out, and they weren't all guys either...

Kim: Help me! I'm an Ensign, get me promoted off this ship!

Tuvok: A wise man once said that two cleft sticks are better than one.

Chakotay: Is that some specially brewed coffee in disguise?
Janeway: Would I really be that cheap?

 

[Finn]

Thanks for the win

Janeway (VO): Captain's Log. Stardate 48465.3. It has been two days since we entered this alternate reality where the Kazon and Viidians had disappeared and replaced by a Talaxian Empire ruled by clones of Neelix.....billions of Neelixes for the next 1,500 light years in every direction....

Neelix: Imagine it, Mr. Vulcan. Those stars are full of me..

Tuvok: *whispers*

 

[R. Star]

Thanks for the win!

Neelix: Oh Mr Vulcan, this reminds me of the time... Mr Vulcan?
Tuvok: (Please make it stop! Make it stop!)

Neelix: I've never seen anything like it!
Tuvok: Nor have I.
Janeway: It's called reality TV. I can see it making a comeback.

Judge: It is my ruling that the Doctor is sentient. Furthermore, it is the ruling of this court that he is awarded the rank of Lieutenant Commander with all priv--
Kim: You got to be kidding me, the hologram gets promoted before me?!

Tuvok: Mr Neelix, let me tell you an ancient Vulcan proverb. You can take this and shove it up your ass.

Chakotay: Should I be trying to pull the glass switch when you're not looking?
Janeway: Don't worry, I poisoned both and gave myself the antidote.

 

[T'Girl]

... dah-da .. dah-da .. DAH-DA .. dah-da ..... dah-da .. dah-da .. DAH-DA .. dah-da ...

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Bow-chicka-wa-wa...Bow-chicka-wa-wa...

 

[Nerys Myk]

NEELIX: One Mississippi....Two...Mississippi...Three Mississippi...

TUVOK: Hmmm, it would appear everyone was correct. I did have a stick up there.

 

[Timewalker]

Tuvok: No, Mr. Neelix, a chunk of mashed Leola Root is NOT an acceptable substitute for a marshmelon.

 

[Finn]

Janeway: I'm Captain Janeway of the Federation starship Voyager. We are on a journey home 40,000 light years from here. I'm pleased to make contact with your people

Neelix: We have so much to offer for a cultural and technological exchange

Queen of the Pixiea (OS): I'm Queen Tin'ker Bel of the Pixiea. We have a sacred wormhole that takes ships 30,000 light years from here. We may allow passage....

Kim: *sneezes*

Queen of the Pixiea: *turns red* You dare sneeze in my presence? We will allow no exchange or contact with your people!

*Viewer shuts off*

Paris (OS): And you wonder why you haven't been promoted, Harry

 

[Nerys Myk]

NEELIX: Isn't that the Earth, that planet you go on and on about getting to?

JANEWAY: Turns out we weren't in the Delta Quadrant after all. Our sensors were just miscalibrated.

HARRY: Sorry.

 

[Turd Ferguson]

Much to Neelix's dismay, Mr. Vulcan was highly adept at "hide and seek."

Voyager was shocked to learn that DS9 didn't abruptly drop their Maquis storylines with the inclusion of the Dominion arc.

"Really, Ensign? Using the MIDAS Array to plead with a Starfleet Admiral to go above Captain Janeway's head and order her to promote you? Not on my watch."

Tuvok was not amused when Tom Paris swapped out his data PADD with an notebook and oversized pencil.

"Here, Captain Janeway and Commander Chakotay are sitting down to a nice meal. But, little does the Captain know, we've switched out her regular coffee with Leola Root decaffeinated coffee crystals."

 

[BirdInJetstream]

Tuvok: "Have you found the lost caltho stick, Mr. Neelix?"
Neelix: "I think it just passed the viewport. It seems to be circling Voyager. Must have escaped your pocket when the cargobay was depressurised"

Neelix: "What is this pink thing?"
Janeway: "They have Croissants!"
Harry: "Fudge...."
Tuvok: "Fascinating. This wormhole seems to have its exit in a confectionery. How unusual."

Chakotay: "Wow, you must have had really lots of coffee if your hands are shaking that badly"

 

[NAHTMMM]

Janeway: ". . . Is it pure communication beyond our comprehension? Frankly we just don't know."
Neelix: "Maybe he's singing to that man."

The Bored With Starfleet Hour proved strangely successful with older viewers.

"Are you sure you want to try the Talaxian wine?"
"Just a sip."
"Your funeral."

 

[Mistral]

Tuvok: "It appears that I've taken an arrow to the knee."

 

[Mistral]

The exact moment when Tuvok realized Mr. Neelix might be with them for decades...

 

[LeadHead]

Neelix: Anybody catch the license number of that SUV?

Tuvok: This is boring, Mister Neelix. The Daily Show has now won that category for 10 years in a row.
Neelix: Yeah, but look! Stephen Colbert and Jimmy Fallon are attacking Jon Stewart!

Tuvok: 200 Credits on Colbert.

Kim: And then, after taking command of the night shift, productivity went up 3%.

Judge: That's very interesting, Mister Kim, but my question was about whether or not The Doctor should be allowed to control his own works.

Tuvok: Row, Row, Row your boat-

Chakotay: What are you doing?

Tuvok: This is all I can contribute to the camping trip, as I did not bring Marshmellons or Rocket boots.... Commander, did the Captain go climbing? Oh, no.

Janeway: Another round?

Chakotay: No.

Janeway: Fine, I'll drink both glasses.

 

[Nerys Myk]

Why is it always some lame Harry Kim episode when I tune into Voyager?

 

[Velocity]

Neelix: And after I soak the leola roots, I boil the leola roots. And after i boil the leola roots i grate the leola roots. And after I grate the leola roots....

Tuvok: (thinking) Forget Kolinahr. My goal is to preserve what sanity I can around that Talaxian...without killing him...

Neelix: ...I beat the leola roots and after I...

Tuvok: ...maybe.

 

[Gil T.Azell]

Tuvok: "Mr. Neelix, if you will kindly sit still and remove your pants, I treat your Hemroids with an ancient Vulcan cure, these hot sticks"

Tuvok: "Mr. Neelix, I told you you couldn't drive a sharp stick up a dead dogs..."

Neelix (OS) "Screw you Mr Vulcan.."

 

[Ln X]

The next contest will be up this Friday.