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Vote for me. I was abducted by aliens

ichab

ichab

Commodore
Commodore
I'm not making this up.

http://www.miamiherald.com/news/local/community/miami-dade/article178813586.html

Miami politician says aliens took her on a spaceship. Now she’s running for Congress.
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WASHINGTON


Florida has a U.S. senator who once flew aboard the Space Shuttle.

A congressional candidate from Miami can go one better: Bettina Rodriguez Aguilera says she’s been aboard a spaceship too. But this one was crewed by aliens. As in extraterrestrials.

Three blond, big-bodied beings — two females, one male — visited her when she was 7 years old and have communicated telepathically with her several times in her life, she says.....
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Just when I thought politics couldn't get any more weird.



 
ISS Triumphant said:
You clearly didn't read the link. Teasers aren't a species. They're intergalactic trust fund babies from many different worlds. :p
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That's what they WANTED you to think, so you wouldn't find their homeworld and destroy them for being annoying. It was taken care of.
Douglas Adams was simply part of the disinfo hypnology campaign. But alas, the story was always subtly flawed - why do you think it kept changing, between all the radio and TV and book and movie versions? It's an important lesson: Keep Your Lies Consistent.
 
I actually have a real alien abduction story from my past. When I was a kid I was with my mom and my asshole step-dad out in the country. He was driving and I think we were going to his sisters house or something. Anyways he was driving all normal but then he started freaking out and started speeding and he was really scared, my mom as well. He saw a light and thought it was following our car and he thought aliens were chasing us so he wanted to outrun them. My mom did say she saw a light as well but I didn't see it myself. It's also possible that he was drunk and high on some kind of drug which might explain some of the story but my mom never did any of that kind of stuff so I asume they saw some kind of light even if I doubt it was aliens.

I should also note that this guy also once tried to drive up the side of a mountain in our jeep to get us to a party, A experience I recall mostly from being in the backseat trying to eat a hamburger while my tater tots from the meal were going all over the place in the backseat with me. He also drove us into quicksand. Ever drive on a highway and cross those bridges and you look down and see tons of mud and more mud? For some reason he tried to drive our jeep down into that area and then we found ourselves stuck in mud to a point were the vehicle was beginning to sink. SOmeone had to come along with a truck and wrench to pull us out, though this was early 80's so I am not sure were the truck/wrench guy came from because it wasn't like we had cell phones to call for help.

Jason
 
I'm shocked ... SHOCKED this isn't a thread started by JAyson.



Also, the aliens already have political candidates:
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I don't know if this is better or worse than the guy running for city council a while back, who had some domestic violence charges on his record, and his campaign platform was basically "Forgive me! Give me a chance!" :wtf:

Kor
 
Kor said:
I don't know if this is better or worse than the guy running for city council a while back, who had some domestic violence charges on his record, and his campaign platform was basically "Forgive me! Give me a chance!" :wtf:

Kor
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Anthony Weiner is worse. He lied about what he was doing, denied the picture was his Anthony's wiener, kept doing what he was doing when caught and claimed to be sorry, sent inappropriate texts to an under age girl, and had the nerve after getting caught the first time, to try and run in New York. The second time ended that. It's beyond a charge, it actually happened; we sadly have the pictures.
And I guarantee you, even now, he thinks if he just waits a few years and goes to some classes (like Weinstein is trying to do right now!), that it will be all better and he can run again for something and pretend he's all high and mighty about it.

Then of course there are confirmed inappropriate sexual acts and sexual advances, sexual harassment from members of Congress.

Then of course there is the allegation by Juanita Broaddrick that B.J. Clinton raped her. Bite her on the lip, too, and told her to put some ice on that when he left the room.
 
tharpdevenport said:
Anthony Weiner is worse. He lied about what he was doing, denied the picture was his Anthony's wiener, kept doing what he was doing when caught and claimed to be sorry, sent inappropriate texts to an under age girl, and had the nerve after getting caught the first time, to try and run in New York. The second time ended that. It's beyond a charge, it actually happened; we sadly have the pictures.
And I guarantee you, even now, he thinks if he just waits a few years and goes to some classes (like Weinstein is trying to do right now!), that it will be all better and he can run again for something and pretend he's all high and mighty about it.

Then of course there are confirmed inappropriate sexual acts and sexual advances, sexual harassment from members of Congress.

Then of course there is the allegation by Juanita Broaddrick that B.J. Clinton raped her. Bite her on the lip, too, and told her to put some ice on that when he left the room.
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Your examples are much worse because they all involve elected officials. This lady from Florida won't even be nominated
 
trekkiedane said:
As a European on the moronic quality of people in Washington: No comment.
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I've heard it said that something like 45% of Americans believe cavemen co-existed with dinosaurs. The US is a lost cause for rational thought and dumbing down of the population almost seems deliberate. I'm surprised it still functions as a technological society. Europe, Russia and China might take advantage to hasten its decline.
 
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