vfwcc #33: Breakin the Law(s)

[Alrik]

Howdy captioners and captionets. I'm sure by now you've all been brought into the loop regarding the issues I'm having with this POS computer. I even tried to swap this contest out a week and a half ago, but when I hit submit it erased everything. If your reading this, it means the 'fix' worked.

Regretfully, I am going to have to step down from running the Caption Contests for a while, so I am looking for a volunteer to step in and keep these things going until life slows back down. I'm hoping that I won't be going the way of Outpost 4 and Shatmandu because I hope to be able to pop in now and again, but I'm not going to have much in the way of free time for a while. Anyone interested, please send me a PM. 'It was....fun'.

Now for our long over due winners.

Some just say it as it is.

Admiral Janeway: I'm here so you can get ALL of your crew home RIGHT NOW.

Captain Janeway: What about Joe Carey, Lon Suder, Michael Jonas, Seska, Crewman Hogan, Lindsay Ballard, the Borg Baby...

Admiral Janeway: Fuck 'em. They should've died AFTER that little rodent Neelix left the ship.

Others just make you spit coffee.

Captain Janeway: "Ok, the grey hair I understand but where did the breasts come from?"

Admiral Janeway: "Oh, those. Lost a bet to Chakotay over a 3-cushion bank shot at Sandine's."

Yet others leave a 'visual' that is difficult to forget.

Seven: Mr. Paris said it would be perfectly acceptable.

EMH: Dazy Dukes and a tube top... *twitch*

Janeway: You've messed up his holomatrix again.

Then there is always the thought of 'what if?'.

Janeway: What's this do?

Ops console Explodes

Janeway: Oh right, I forgot all those exploding consoles were just for fun in battles. Right Harry? Harry?

This kind of mindset explains why the Borg never win.

QUEEN: Nipples are irrelevent.

And this proves the point that we all get dressed one leg at a time.

Janeway: you're wearing odd legs.
Borg Queen: bugger. I was in a rush getting reassembled this morning.

And because once again, there weren't any 'chops', I've picked some of the better kind hearted jabs at my timeliness.

Future Janeway is delighted that even nearing the 25th century, she still has a chance to enter the vfwcc #32 Endless Games contest.

ADMIRAL JANEWAY: I've come back to ensure this contest never starts.

JANEWAY: Why?

ADMIRAL: Because even in my time, its still running!

Chakotay: Eeeeehhhhh, when is the contest going to be OVER already? Eeeeehhhh!

Janeway: Look here, choob. See this? Alrik named the contest "Endless Games". Do you think that was just a coincidence?

Tuvok: That logic is Admiral-able.

Trek BBS Readers: Groan!

And finally the new pics. Thanks for playing everyone.

Lastly, I just couldn't go without posting one Goofy Harry pic.

 

[Alrik]

Harry: "I can't believe I said that out loud."

B'Elana: "Well you did, dumb ass...and not if you were the last humanoid in the galaxy."

Tom: "This upgrade to HD rocks."

EMH: "I told you I was to be notified if it lasted more than 4 hours."

Janeway: "Neither Kes nor B'Elana will be able to walk right for a week. And by the way, Mr Neelix would like a word with you."

Slick Tom: "What?! I thought you said you were on the pill!"

"Duh...yup. Huh huh."

 

[froot]

Congrats, winners!

I'm sorry you will not be able to run these anymore. But the first batch is already making me giggle...

 

[Akiraprise]

Pinning.

 

[Nerys Myk]

TORRES: I think Tom might be seeing someone else, we haven't had sex in nearly a month.

Does this shade of lipstick look right for me?

We should get together for a mani/pedi next week....

HARRY: Can't you find someone else to be your galpal?

 

[jgdst]

Torres: That's right... SALAMANDERS!
Harry: That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard! I think my brains are coming out of my nose...

Harry: Kkkkhhhmmmm
EMH: You told him about the salamanders, didn't you?
Torres: Um...

 

[Nerys Myk]

"Come on, water or land? Make up your mind!!!!"

 

[LeadHead]

Kim: That type of shuttle can't handle going Warp 10. If only we could make a larger shuttle. I'm sorry that was just so stupid, we'd never do something like that.

Paris: Rewind it, I want to see the moment I look cool again.

Kim: At what point do you want to tell him the Doc wants me to do the test flight?

Doctor: Now for the injection.

Janeway: What injection?

Doctor: Just something that will magically give him the prerequisites to become my assistant in 2 years.

Hello? We'd like to join your zoo. We've been kicked out of everywhere else.

Kim: Nothing in the universe can go Warp 10.

Neelix: What about all those times the original Enterprse did that?

Kim: Nothing in the Universe can go Warp 10!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Torres: "Wow, 75,000 light-years to earth! We're going to be our own little world for a long time! It won't be long before the men and women start pairing up. In your case, Harry, you'd better pray the captain doesn't ever decide to shut down the holodeck!"

Chakotay: "As you can see, the Talaxian Matchmaking program says we're all pretty much a toss-up, except in the category of receding hairlines where Tom and B'Elanna score a perfect compatibility match!"

"No, first you say 'Bud,' then I say 'wise,' and then...aw hell, we're gonna need a third salamander to do this right!"

 

[Mistral]

(Thanks for the win in what may have been the longest running CC on record-I'm honored! Sorry to see you go!)

Chakotay: "So, after he passed out, we drew little unicorns all over his face with a black marker."

Paris:"I'm not sure what pisses me off more-that you took pictures or that you're showing them during a briefing!"

 

[Smellincoffee]

Both Torres and Kim struggled to come to terms with what they saw when they walked in on Tom's new holodeck program. Torres had to admit she was curious.

Mr. Paris, a little acid reflux does not qualify you for sick leave.

 

[Nerys Myk]

PARIS: Either medical quarantine or the brig. I don't care which one. B'Elanna's in one of her "moods" again.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Doctor: "It's not serious, Captain. He's just picked up a case of Thalasian Longitus Syndrome. It causes a permanent erection for 24 to 48 hours."
Paris: "Captain, it's just so...embarrassing..."
Janeway: "Don't worry, Mr. Paris. We'll relieve you of bridge duty and temporarily assign you as donut chef in the ship's bakery until your symptoms subside."

 

[LeadHead]

Kim: You left Windows Vista Installed?

Torres: I thought it had pretty colors.

Doctor: As far as I can tell he's just asleep.

Janeway: Can you wake him?

Doctor: That wouldn't be advisable. B'Elanna says he has the worst morning breath in history.

 

[jgdst]

Janeway: What's wrong with him, Doctor?
Doctor: Oh, nothing. I just like to beam crewmembers here when they're asleep and run experiments.

 

[LeadHead]

Tuvok: I must say, this is Captain Janeway's best hairstyle.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Janeway: "Well... Here's another nice mess you've gotten me into."
Paris: "I didn't mean to..." burst into tears

 

[Yeoman Randi]

Wang: "People Magazine's "Sexiest Men List" here i come!"

 

[Yeoman Randi]

And now for National Geographic's: "The sperm of Robau".

 

[di_mar]

B'ellana: Harry, it's been five minutes into trying to repair our holodeck program and you've already given up.

Doctor: "I've sedated him for quite a while, Captain. Kes got fed up with his sexual harrassment, as well as his remarks on me being a .. 'flipping hologram'. Or words to that extent."
J: "He's drunk again? I'll get Chakotay to have.. words.. with him."
Doctor: "Yes. Passed out on the helm. Neelix has got to stop promoting his 24 hour alcohol replication allowance."