Using Trek to get through hard times?

[DanaScully]

Hi everyone;
I've not been on here much lately but some really bad shit has happened in my life lately that I find myself looking for help anywhere I can find it. That includes Trek.

To summarise; I am in my mid 30s; athletic, Vegan, was always very healthy but suddenly in the summer, I had some wierd 'female problems' and went to my Gynocologist only to find out in November that I have locally advanced Cervical Cancer!! WTF?!?!? I was flabbergasted! I got a pap test EVERY year and NEVER had a bad one so this came right outta the damn blue; it's like I got blindsided by a photon torpedo from a cloaked vessel!

So anyway, now I'm smack in the middle of horrible treatments (Chemo and radiation) and it sucks! My life has been turned upside down; just as things were starting to look up; I get lambasted by this!

I'm finding it REALLY hard to deal; what with doing everything to PREVENT this and getting it anyway, going from a person who NEVER got sick to being as sick as can be and being among the youngest person in the cancer ward every time I go for treatment. It's damn depressing (and I've never been a depressed person either!?) My friends say I'm like a cross between Cnslr. Troi and Spock with a little of Worf in there. (I'm an empathic half Vulcan/half Klingon!? haha)

I've always related most stuff that happens in one way or another to Trek and I find that suddenly I'm doing it even more. It's how I'm dealing with this damn scary cancer shit. When I go for my radiation treatments; I'm picturing the tumour to be those cell-like things in TOS Operation Annhiliate! and having it die off like that every time I get 'phasered' by photons!
I call the radiation suite the Nacelle tube and when I have to get internal radiation (which freaks me out no end!), I call that going into the warp core. I think of Spock going into the warp core to save the ship and I think of how to face the cancer if it comes back and wonder if I can sacrifice myself like that.

I even had a wierd dream last night where I died and met 'god' and it was the Metron from TOS Arena and he called himself the 'skeptic god' (I'm a Buddhist Atheist for all religious intents and purposes) and I asked him point blank; WTF?!?! Why the hell did I get cancer!? What does bad stuff happen!? He just basically said he made the Universe with all its laws and rules and just left it do its own thing. He has nothing to do with it any more and made no big deal about anything.

Anyway, this is getting long , but I wonder if anyone else here in Trek BBS universe is dealing with some hard times or cancer and if you use Trek to help you get through? Maybe we can share stories?

If you don't want to post here, you can email me at vwscully@yahoo.ca

Thanks and Live Long and Prosper cuz you never know what tomorrow will bring.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Well I did have an epiphany about my life while watching First Contact that was extremely significant and contributed to a major life change. I also had an epiphany while watching DS9's The Emissary which I still reflect on when relevant. However they are too personal to post on a public forum.

When I was a kid I was very afraid of a medical procedure I was going to have (something simple, but I had a phobia) and I managed to get over it by thinking of how Mr. Spock would NOT have been afraid, how the fear was in fact illogical. And I never had that phobia again.

I wish you well in your fight against cancer. If you are steeped in Trek then you will have examples and ideas from Trek coming to mind to encourage you.. it is a biological imperative to be encouraged because it keeps us fighting and living. If you were a Christian who was steeped in the bible verses would be coming to mind and you would ascribe that to God. Not a comment on religion here, just a comment on how our need to have encouragement is often met.

 

[USS Triumphant]

My mother was always scheming and stealing when I was growing up, and very frequently she dragged my father and I into her mayhem. She would change prices on products at stores, buy them, and then return them for store credits or refunds at their full value. She defrauded grocery stores with epic numbers of duplicate coupons. (That sounds minor - you would have had to be there.) She took advantage of old women, feeding one old diabetic woman sweets in order to do so, and sometimes using me against my will to endear us to them. She took advantage of Chinese restaurant owners sense of "face" to get things from them, too. She was involved in her nephew's drug deals. She poisoned my father with increasing amounts of arsenic (this was determined later) until I guess she got tired of waiting, because they split when I was 14, and I ended up moving away with her. She made sure that he didn't know where we were or what had even happened when we first left, and he spent days looking for us, thinking something horrible had happened. He ended up in a mental institution twice after that, and is still medicated to keep him from becoming paranoid and thinking everyone is out to get him, even now. She only got worse, until she ended up going to prison for having an older friend of mine killed in an attempt to get his insurance and inheritance. (He thought she was pregnant for him - she wasn't, and after the hysterectomy he didn't know she had when I was 7, she couldn't have been.) This after kidnapping my son and forcing my wife and I to chase her down from one place to another for three days.

I had been a casual Star Trek fan all my life, but when I was 12, I began reading Star Trek novels and the DC comics. I became a complete Trekker. Especially, I was drawn to the way the novels depicted of Vulcan, and the teachings of Surak. Had I not been exposed to that, and particularly, the concept of The Mastery of the Unavoidable - that when one is faced with something one can do nothing about, one should focus on and proceed with the things one CAN do something about - I don't know that my sanity would have faired even as well as my dad's.

And throughout the rest of my life, those teachings have served me well in other matters, as well.

I hope that things turn out alright with your cancer. I am glad that Star Trek has brought you some little measure of joy during this difficult time. May you Live Long and Prosper.

 

[DanaScully]

I also find myself drawn to the teachings of Vulcan and Surak. I find a certain resonance with Buddhism and Surak's logic. I think the hardest part in all this for me is coming to terms with the possibility this might kill me and how do I deal with 'letting go'?
I've always striven to be logical like Spock and currently reflect on how he dealt with facing death.

 

[Dr. Xtmprsqzntw]

Whatever happens to you has been waiting to happen since the beginning of time. The twining strands of fate wove both of them together: your own existence and the things that happen to you.

Do not then consider life a thing of any value. For look at the immensity of time behind thee, and to the time which is before thee, another boundless space. In this infinity then what is the difference between him who lives three days and him who lives three generations?

A cucumber is bitter. Throw it away. There are briers in the road. Turn aside from them. This is enough. Do not add, "And why were such things made in the world?"

Make for yourself a definition or description of the thing which is presented to you, so as to see distinctly what kind of a thing it is in its substance, in its nudity, in its complete entirety, and tell yourself its proper name, and the names of the things of which it has been compounded, and into which it will be resolved. For nothing is so productive of elevation of mind as to be able to examine methodically and truly every object which is presented to you in life, and always to look at things so as to see at the same time what kind of universe this is, and what kind of use everything performs in it, and what value everything has with reference to the whole.

Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them.

Outward things cannot touch the soul, not in the least degree; nor have they admission to the soul, nor can they turn or move the soul; but the soul turns and moves itself alone.

Get rid of the judgment, get rid of the 'I am hurt,' you are rid of the hurt itself.

Let Nature deal with matter, which is her own, as she pleases; let us be cheerful and brave in the face of everything, reflecting that it is nothing of our own that perishes.

The point is, not how long you live, but how nobly you live.

 

[S'kai]

William . . . Shatner . . . told . . . a story on video, I think it was around the 30th Anniversary, of a fellow who stopped him in the street to express his gratitude for his work with Star Trek. He had been a POW in North Vietnam, and the way the guys would get through each day was, from inside thier cells, play an episode of Star Trek. Each POW would take a role for that day, and pick and episode and do their own renditions, quoting everything they could remember. The man said that Star Trek was the one thing that kept them from losing their minds completely through all the torture and deprivation.

 

[Eagle]

I started to watch Trek during one of the hardest times of my life and it provided some much needed escapism. It also has relaxing qualities when taking time away from the often stressful "real world."

I'm sorry to hear about your cancer and I hope that everything works out for you in the end.

 

[DanaScully]

Well, Hiya everyone;
I survived that bizarre form of cancer which in the end I found out was actually a hybrid endometrial/cervical cancer; so not only was I an anomaly in the cancer ward; I had an equally rare and odd cancer. Leave it to me to do anything wierd!

I've spent the last couple of years turning into a 'cancer hellraiser'; demanding more accountability from the 'cancer industry', leading a support group for other young adults with cancer and fundraising for Young adult cancer issues. Even though I survived, I still live with that 'cancer dementor' around me forever. Even when you're "cured", you're not :/.

At any rate, Trek still resonates with me and I added GREATLY to my collection of Trek novels in my convalescence!
If anyone is at all interested, my latest project is an Indie film about the 'dark side' of young adult cancer survivorship. Feel free to check it out and share if your'e so inclined .
http://siegconsulting.com/smotheredhope/

Live long and prosper!

 

[wissaboo]

Wow, some amazing stories there. I have kind of an opposite experience. A stretch of years that were the worst in my life was also the only time in my life I stopped watching Trek. I don't know if was just a coincidence (it was during voyager, I never really bonded with that one) or maybe it was that I just couldn't watch trek when I felt like there was no hope.

 

[F. King Daniel]

Wow, I totally missed this the first time, but I've just gotta say it's GREAT that you pulled through, DanaScully!

 

[Forbin]

Glad you're still with us, Dana!!!!

Sadly, I have no life-changing Trek stories at all.

 

[TEACAKE'S PLEATHER DOME]

Dana I am very happy to read you are out the other side of all that treatment etc.. thank you for popping back in and posting here. Looking at your website now.

 

[22 Stars]

Dana, so glad you are doing well.

Star Trek was a bond between my brother and I, whom I lost a few years ago. It continues to one of many things that reminds me of him and brings fond memories. I hope your immediate family and your extended Trek family can bring you smiles from day to day!! Keep up the great recovery and all my best! Russell

 

[Misfit Toy]

Well, Hiya everyone;
I survived that bizarre form of cancer which in the end I found out was actually a hybrid endometrial/cervical cancer; so not only was I an anomaly in the cancer ward; I had an equally rare and odd cancer. Leave it to me to do anything wierd!

I've spent the last couple of years turning into a 'cancer hellraiser'; demanding more accountability from the 'cancer industry', leading a support group for other young adults with cancer and fundraising for Young adult cancer issues. Even though I survived, I still live with that 'cancer dementor' around me forever. Even when you're "cured", you're not :/.

At any rate, Trek still resonates with me and I added GREATLY to my collection of Trek novels in my convalescence!
If anyone is at all interested, my latest project is an Indie film about the 'dark side' of young adult cancer survivorship. Feel free to check it out and share if your'e so inclined .
http://siegconsulting.com/smotheredhope/

Live long and prosper!

Dana, thank you for updating us on what's going on with you! I'm very glad that you're doing as well as you are.

 

[Tora Ziyal]

Nice to meet you, Dana. I was dx'd w/ a sacral chordoma -- a rare bone cancer -- a year ago. Star Trek and the folks here have really helped me cope. I especially relate to Worf, who had spinal surgery even more drastic than mine. Too bad I couldn't be back to normal by the next episode, like he was!

I love your "cancer dementor" phrase. I don't relate at all to the "cancer is terrible but I've grown/learned/experienced so much that I don't regret having it" crap that I hear from some people.

 

[SchwEnt]

This posting brought to mind TSFS.

I don't think the movie has any lessons or tips to help get through hard times.

But it certainly is about people going through hard times, and the world coming down harder when they're at their lowest point.

And they don't give up, they keep going, and they only succeed because they have the love of friends who will see them through at any cost.

Despite all the downbeat events, one after another, the love of their friends shines through to the end. When I watch TSFS, I find that friendship and love very uplifting.

 

[Sky]

Glad to hear you're better, Dana!

Trek is my comfort food. If I'm very stressed or sad, I watch a TOS episode or read some Trek lit or even fanfic.

Last summer I was at home on my final week of university while my husband was in Austria on a weekend climbing trip. I got the phone call no-one wants to get - the one that starts 'there has been an accident'. My husband had fallen while rock climbing and vas very seriously injured. I had to pack quickly and go to him; it was a 10 hour train trip as there were no airports close to where he was. I took Spock's World and Strangers from the Sky for my train reading. I knew I would not be able to concentrate, but those books I know well, and I knew they'd comfort me.

My husband's recovery was quite long and tedious (he's quite fine now) as he had a brain injury. We have no support system in the part of the world where we now live, so everything was kind of up to me. I'd take care of him and sort out all kinds of issues with the insurance people and the neurologists etc during daytime and during nights when he slept I'd watch Star Trek. When things really really sucked, I'd think to myself 'what is, is. There's no logic in wallowing.' Someone already mentioned the Mastery of the Unavoidable; that was important to me.

So.. a comfort food and a way to keep sane and focused. That's quite a burden for a space opera tv show. But it's served me well.

 

[Anji]

Dana,

Star Trek has always been an important part of my life but never more so than when my mother died in 2002. See she was the last surviving member of my family: I have no brothers or sisters, aunts or uncles, cousins. And to make matters worse she died right in front of me in my home: I stood there helplessly while she had a heart attack and I could do nothing about it.

As I came home from the hospital early that morning trying to figure out what had happened the night before, I popped in an episode of TNG. See I was raised in a Star Trek family. My mom and dad were huge fans…so I became one. I ran it in her honor. Ironically the episode that was cued was The Best of Both Worlds, Part II. It came to the scene where Riker has face the fact he has to become captain of the Enterprise. I knew exactly how Riker felt. Just like he thought he couldn’t go on without Picard, I knew I couldn’t go on without my mom. Then Guinan comes in and gives him the speech and ends it by saying “It’s the only way to beat him, the only way to save him."

I swear to God, Dana, I played that part of the videotape till it was white! And on the day of her funeral I played that scene over and over again in my head in order to get through it…and I did.

They gave me all kinds of drugs to deal with the grief. But none of them worked as good as “The Search for Spock” or yes, “The Undiscovered Country”. When I am watching Star Trek I am with my family and who better to comfort you in a time of need than your family.

Star Trek fandom can be very trying as I’m sure you know, but the one good thing about it we fans (and some celebs) are all here for each other.

Get your rest, eat a good diet and make plans for what you are going to do when you are through with your therapies. My best friend beat lymphoma 9 years ago. This January she went in for a check up and she is still cancer free.

All the best,
Anji