Apparently so. I don't know about you, but I'd be in the Caribbean or something. Sunny and much cheaper, too.
Uninvited visitor...
- Thread starter An Officer
- Start date
Ditto. Hopefully there will be no more sightings.
As long as she doesn't start acting like Overly Attached Girlfriend, you should be safe.
Are you kidding? Laina is super cute and she is mine, keep your filthy hands of her!
Now who's overly attached? 
Seriously, though, I know that the person in that picture took her probably unexpected fame fairly well and is apparently a pretty cool person.
Seriously, though, I know that the person in that picture took her probably unexpected fame fairly well and is apparently a pretty cool person.
An Officer, I'm not sure about your local laws, but generally laws do protect people from unwanted visitations. You have a right to be left alone by anyone you choose.
Now the way it works in the US is, cops can't protect you - otherwise that would be their full time mandate. What cops can do is follow through on punishment of a legal violation. IE, they may not guard your home, they'll show up to make arrests.
Somewhere between "It's not you it's me" and "fatal attraction" you should make it very clear you do not wish to see her, she is not to come around, and you will consider it harassment if she does it again. Restraining orders are generally reserved for extreme cases - and may be up for review/expire after a year.
Instead you can request a "No Trespass / No Communication" notice from the sheriff department. You fill out a form which they will deliver to the person. This offers you an ongoing protection because then if you see the person, you can call the cops and they will arrest him/her for the violation. It is evidence you cut them - and their friends, proxies or agents - off from all access to your household. In public - you take your chances, but that's reality for everyone.
The key with harassment is to get documentation - take photos with time stamps. (Audio/video have varying laws that can easily get you in trouble for unlawful recording; or just get thrown out as evidence).
I'm not saying go Matlock on her ass. I'm saying, the law is on your side when you know how to use it. Of course, there is nothing anyone can do about protecting you from someone who is willing to trespass or attack you - short of hiring an armed & licensed PI bodyguard who understands the rules of "reasonable defensive force" and "shit that will get you arrested."
My advice - gather evidence. Name, address, DOB - everything you can scrape together for a file - and keep a journal of all ongoing activities and descriptions. Evidence is your friend. Being "gentle" and 'vague" about being left alone is your risk. If your emotional withdrawal doesn't bore her or allow her to move on - get clear, stay calm, and follow through.
You - and especially any children - have rights to be left alone by unwanted people, even relatives. Unless a court grants visitation/custody to an ex, and even then threat of endangerment warrants legal intervention.
If she knows where you live - Cover Your Assets. If she shows up at your cafe or other haunts- take a photograph of her and the location, date and time.
Good luck!
Now the way it works in the US is, cops can't protect you - otherwise that would be their full time mandate. What cops can do is follow through on punishment of a legal violation. IE, they may not guard your home, they'll show up to make arrests.
Somewhere between "It's not you it's me" and "fatal attraction" you should make it very clear you do not wish to see her, she is not to come around, and you will consider it harassment if she does it again. Restraining orders are generally reserved for extreme cases - and may be up for review/expire after a year.
Instead you can request a "No Trespass / No Communication" notice from the sheriff department. You fill out a form which they will deliver to the person. This offers you an ongoing protection because then if you see the person, you can call the cops and they will arrest him/her for the violation. It is evidence you cut them - and their friends, proxies or agents - off from all access to your household. In public - you take your chances, but that's reality for everyone.
The key with harassment is to get documentation - take photos with time stamps. (Audio/video have varying laws that can easily get you in trouble for unlawful recording; or just get thrown out as evidence).
I'm not saying go Matlock on her ass. I'm saying, the law is on your side when you know how to use it. Of course, there is nothing anyone can do about protecting you from someone who is willing to trespass or attack you - short of hiring an armed & licensed PI bodyguard who understands the rules of "reasonable defensive force" and "shit that will get you arrested."
My advice - gather evidence. Name, address, DOB - everything you can scrape together for a file - and keep a journal of all ongoing activities and descriptions. Evidence is your friend. Being "gentle" and 'vague" about being left alone is your risk. If your emotional withdrawal doesn't bore her or allow her to move on - get clear, stay calm, and follow through.
You - and especially any children - have rights to be left alone by unwanted people, even relatives. Unless a court grants visitation/custody to an ex, and even then threat of endangerment warrants legal intervention.
If she knows where you live - Cover Your Assets. If she shows up at your cafe or other haunts- take a photograph of her and the location, date and time.
Good luck!
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I think a restraining order would be unwarranted in this case. The only thing she did was go to some public place. I doubt one would be granted just for that.
This certainly reads like a pretty weird sort of event.
So .. not worth courting then?
I mean she's in town, so why not take advantage.
So .. not worth courting then?
I mean she's in town, so why not take advantage.
An Officer you have my sympathy. Try and glean from other people who may know her online if she has left her own country. Be careful and don't worry about being too paranoid, weird ass stalking stuff does happen and she sounds like an unknown quantity with plenty of red flags.
And now I'm going to worry every time she doesn't check in for a couple of days. 
I think it's some-sort-of early Wiki.
Right. A restraining order often requires some indication of potential violence. This is why I didn't suggest a Restraining Order.
Harassment, however, doesn't require a component of violence. Trespass, especially for property owners, does not either. If you live in an apartment - I'm really not sure if you can get a No Trespass/No Communication notice, but you can label it as harassment for the individual and the cops.
I believe cops may require 2 violations of your harassment notice before they follow through.
Restraining orders are more for emergency situations, as when you're trying to protect yourself and/or your child from a demonstrable threat of physical confrontation. These are more like bandages on a wound, not necessarily a long term solution like a No Trespass notice for a property owner, or a harassment notice for a psychological abuser or bully.
Again - laws vary, so research or legal consultations are suggested.
I'm not saying all this is necessary, I'm just laying out groundwork for worst case scenario. She may just be annoying and go away on her own. However, I would not be surprised if any single communication at all encouraged her for years to come. And - sex is a whole other level of intimacy.
Live and learn the perils of casual encounters.
I can see that for the home, but is there really a way to keep somebody away from public places without repeated behavior at a minimum?
I'm perfectly fine and haven't seen her! Thank you for the support, everyone!
Thankfully, I've been keeping some very odd hours - coincidental, not on purpose. So, if she has been about, it would have had to have been an epic exercise in waiting.
I've varied my routes and kept my wits about me just to be sure, and haven't yet gone back to said shop. I will leave that out for a while.
Skully, you have the wrong end of the stick regarding intimacy!
Feels like a bit of a mountain out of a molehill by now, but it was absolutely disconcerting to see her (or her identical twin) virtually on my doorstep, when she was supposed to be thousands of miles away! Shocked me for a moment, but I'm okay with it now. It was just a blip, whatever it was, I hope.
Thankfully, I've been keeping some very odd hours - coincidental, not on purpose. So, if she has been about, it would have had to have been an epic exercise in waiting.
I've varied my routes and kept my wits about me just to be sure, and haven't yet gone back to said shop. I will leave that out for a while.
Skully, you have the wrong end of the stick regarding intimacy!
Feels like a bit of a mountain out of a molehill by now, but it was absolutely disconcerting to see her (or her identical twin) virtually on my doorstep, when she was supposed to be thousands of miles away! Shocked me for a moment, but I'm okay with it now. It was just a blip, whatever it was, I hope.
Glad to hear everything's good. Sounds like you've got it handled An Officer!
Intimacy's great when it's reciprocated. When it's a form of aggression, that's something else. The older you get, the more you might see both varieties in the world. Again, I'm glad to hear you're not necessarily dealing with that sort of thing.
Knowing your legal rights can be a comfort for some individuals who are the target of mental/physical abuse. They don't gotta go vigilante to protect themselves. I think a video camera is the best weapon a person could have.
A little something I picked up on the streets of Shanghai. You think the gang of thirty pickpockets is going to close in on the guy using a camcorder? Instead of pushing them away (they'll just push back - harder), you motivate them to stay away. It's not guaranteed, but I've seen it work.
I'd rather take my chances with the camera, thanks!
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That's good to hear.
