Uncomfortable Plot Summaries

[captcalhoun]

The Avengers - A 90-year-old steroid junkie, an alcoholic philandering billionaire, a schizophrenic deity, a wifebeating scientist with personality disorders, his vertically-challenged wife, a homeless man, a cancer patient, several sideshow freaks and two incestuous European siblings are all that stand between the Earth and total destruction.

sounds more like the Ultimates.

Equilibrium: Emotionally repressive Government agent kills lots of civilians before going postal and murdering co-workers and boss.

 

[Aragorn]

FACE/OFF: Government agent abuses power, abducts child after killing the mother and father.

 

[Broccoli]

WORLD TRADE CENTER: Rag-tag group of underdogs succeed at a massive undertaking despite overwhelming odds, credit success with faith in God.

Wow.

 

[Gojirob]

The Incredibles : A disgraced super-hero has to be rescued by his family.

This one was actually used by a cable company in their on-air guide.

 

[Aragorn]

PULP FICTION: Hitman teaches dancer the difference between Old Testament and New Testament.

FRIDAY THE 13TH: Sex + drugs + alcohol = A horrible death.

 

[tharpdevenport]

I got a some ideas:

ALF: Family harbors illegal alien, lies to friends and family and police, makes neighbors co-conspirators.

The A-Team: Escaped prisoners wonder around, trouncing the law, resisting arrest, and regularly causing damage and destruction.


Frasier: "Elitist" artsy snob who drinks wine regularly, is ex-alcoholic, and tried to committ suicide, gives people advice as a radio therapist.












TrekBBS: Nerds who live in their parents basement, fat people, and right-wing morons join forces to insure negative population growth.

 

[Ben Sisko3]

TrekBBS: Nerds who live in their parents basement, fat people, and right-wing morons join forces to insure negative population growth.

I'm none of those. Which are you?

 

[tharpdevenport]

TrekBBS: Nerds who live in their parents basement, fat people, and right-wing morons join forces to insure negative population growth.

I'm none of those. Which are you?

It's called humor.




Though if you've been to TNZ, that last line is pretty accurate...

 

[Kitty Worrier]

ALIENS: An unplanned pregnancy leads to complications.

In some ways, I think this may be a more accurate summary of Alien 3 or Alien Resurrection.

When I saw that one, I thought Alien 3.

I like the Titanic summary. Reminds me of why I hate the way they end the film.

 

[Admiral Buzzkill]

The ST:TMP and Firefly synopses are note-perfect.

Oddly enough, this one:

ATLAS SHRUGGED: Selfish industrialist destroys economy

...is entirely accurate and ought to be agreed upon by both admirers and detractors of the book - the only disagreement would be on whether you're cheering the bastard on.

 

[Temis the Vorta]

Dollhouse is far more damning of the guy's mentality.

The people running the Dollhouse may be the protagonists, but don't be fooled into thinking they're supposed to be the good guys.

I know that - I'm thinking more of the rather icky look into Whedon's psyche that that show gives us. He likes to create abused heroines and then make us feel sorry for them. Not sure what exactly he's working out with that kind of crap, but I do know that I don't want to observe it. He should keep it between himself and his shrink.

It's a good basic idea, though. The lead character should have been some big, beefy guy who volunteers for the Dollhouse because he's a vicious psychotic killer and the Dollhouse beats lethal injection. That way we aren't subject to Whedon's female-victim fetishizing because nobody's going to get weepy about a psychotic killer who looks more like Vin Diesel than Eliza Dushku.

Deep Space Nine: Mentally unstable sci-fi writer inserts a messianic Mary Sue into Star Trek.

Oh no, that wasn't REEAAAL!

Deep Space Nine: The Federation antagonizes aliens, commits genocide, and calls the war a draw.

Heroes: An ongoing experiment to see how much character assassination, plot illogic and general incoherence you can shoehorn into one TV series.

Lost: An ongoing experiment to see how long an audience will follow a plotline that makes absolutely no sense.

 

[Trekker4747]

House: Misanthropic ass somehow keeps a medical license and actualy is able to afford an type of living considering what his malpractice premiums must be.

24: Velvet voiced mad-man attempts to break every law in the planet one day at a time.

Lost: A show designed to make people bang their heads against the wall in frustration.

Almost any 90s sitcom: x-many x-something assholes sit around bitching about their lives.

 

[Ben Sisko3]

It's called humor.

I thought there was a court order against your type of "humor".

Becker: Misanthropic ass somehow keeps a medical an license and actualy owe is able to afford an type of living considering what his malpractice premiums must be.

I fixed it for you.

 

[tharpdevenport]

It's called humor.

I thought there was a court order against your type of "humor".

To quote the TrekBBS MODs:

"Remember the old adage: Discuss the topic not the poster."

 

[T'Girl]

24: A single day of action spread over 24 episodes.

General Hospital: A single day of action spread over 11,700 episodes.

Seinfeld: Four friends end up in prison.

Stargate SG-1: Travel to faraway and exotic places, meet new and interesting people, and then kill them.

Starship Troopers: Home town boy journeys to stars

Starman Jones: Home town boy journeys to stars

Have spacesuit, will travel: Home town boy journeys to stars

 

[Lindley]

It's a good basic idea, though. The lead character should have been some big, beefy guy who volunteers for the Dollhouse because he's a vicious psychotic killer and the Dollhouse beats lethal injection. That way we aren't subject to Whedon's female-victim fetishizing because nobody's going to get weepy about a psychotic killer who looks more like Vin Diesel than Eliza Dushku.

Well, that plotline is in there, although so far we haven't seen enough of Alpha to really judge how interesting he is.

 

[wamdue]

Sarah Jane Adventures: Middle age woman has kids help her fight aliens, in a desperate attempt to relive her youth.

(best I can come up with)

 

[Rii]

Gattaca: Vain man compulsively grooms himself.
Battle Royale: School children learn valuable skills in inter-personal conflict resolution
Sideways: A tribute to Pinot Noir
Gladiator: A treatise on structural unemployment and the difficulties of employment transition.
American History X: Idealistic youth is ground down by society.
Apocalypse Now: A road trip film.

 

[captcalhoun]

Stealth: military prototype runs amok and causes international incident as well as ecological catastrophe.

Robocop: amnesiac police officer engages in vigilante justice

 

[Kirkman1987]

Rocky II - A unintelligent man with traumatic eye injuries is forced into violent sport because of economic hardship.

Rocky V - a legendary and respected boxer retires after getting brain damage, gets in street fight and argues with son.

First Blood - A small town sherriff is forced to action when a mentally unstable Prisoner escapes.