I know everyone complains to the hilt about her space undies scene, but I think it's one of those situations where she wanted him to peek.
Don't give the writers more credit than they deserve. They're not nearly that sophisticated. They admitted they threw it in for fan-service and they kind of regret it now (just as JJ has even regretted using so much lens-flare, after even his wife started bashing him for it). It was gratuitous by design.
You see more than this at the beach.
If it were Baywatch, The Movie, it would make sense. But to throw it in how they did, when they did, was gratuitous and unnecessary.
As for the lover's spats, again, it's context. Because JJ paced this film like Star Wars Episode IV, there's no space to allow Spock and Uhura to have a relationship moment. All the character moments between Uhura and Spock are happening in the middle of these action set-pieces and cliffhangers. This is what makes it seem "unprofessional". They should be focusing on the mission (as lives depend on their professionalism as military officers) but their minds are drifting back to their selfish romantic issues.
JJ tried to have his cake and eat it too by having Pike tear Kirk a new one for being unprofessional, but he didn't simultaneously allow the plot to punish Uhura and Spock for putting their relationship drama so out front and center when they should have been focused and professional. This, I think, reflects JJ's superficial understanding of the value of military discipline. Kirk sacrificed himself because the needs of the many outweighed the needs of the few. But when it comes to the the rest of the crew he allows them to treat the Enterprise as Ridgemont High.
Not only that, JJ seems to misunderstand Vulcans. He treats the Vulcan adherence to discipline not as an asset but as an emotional handicap. So when Spock loses his cool, it's treated as a way to "humanize" him rather than it being him falling off the wagon of his pseudo-spiritual discipline. It's a subtlety because Spock's character arc intentionally allows him to veer towards humanity, but at never point does Spock reject logic (like Sybok, for instance). Spock integrates measured doses of human emotion into his life. It's the limited way Spock bends the rules that makes the character interesting, not having Spock completely lose it, cry, yell Khan, and run down the guy and punch him senseless.
This mis-reading of the Vulcan mysticism plays into feeling the need to give him a girlfriend. And how much easier can you find him a girlfriend than throwing Uhura at him? And to set it up all off-screen so it's just "there" with no rationale? Why should we believe it or care since we've seen no build-up at all? And they can't because (here we go again) the pace of the film won't allow it to slow down and show a budding romance. So instead you're just given a romance in-medias-res and are expected to just accept it. (And don't even mention pon farr.) It falls flat.
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