I feel bad for attractive women, though. All they get are the jerks, while the intelligent, compassionate, creative and talented guys hang back thinking that they don't have a chance. That's why I only date supermodels.
Trying out Match.com
- Thread starter MikeGainer
- Start date
I do wish people wouldn't get so caught up on who is within or out of their "league". I understand that no one wants to be rejected, but I think many people underestimate what their value and attractiveness may be to another person.
Also it's not always that easy for women! Not all women have a long list of lovely suitors to wade through, and to say otherwise simply leaves some feeling bad about their lack of options.
I'm often told that if you do not feel attractive yourself then you won't be and I think that's true.
Whereas there's also this story which surfaced earlier in the week.
Want a wife/girlfriend who'll be faithful ? Stay away from the good looking ones!
That doesn't sound unreasonable. I've always struggled with feeling attractive myself, but I feel that even faking confidence can make me appear more attractive.
More like you should measure their hormone levels!
I don't imagine any amount of faking is going to do much for me.
/inserts comment about all women being hormonal anyway.
I wonder if the same is true of men and testosterone?
The irony of that quote of mine you cited is that it's filled with typos and is a flippin' mess!
Thanks for letting me off the hook.
-Shawn
Well, it's a good thing you weren't e-mailing me, right?
I teach 8th grade English and I see far worse every day.
That's what she said.
I'm hacking your profile and adding "Devil Woman" to your list of hobbies, just for that.
I'm hacking your profile and adding "Devil Woman" to your list of hobbies, just for that.
That's not a hobby, my dear, it's a profession.
I was going to to qoute a whole bunch of these and reply to, but I just chose on that I'll get to in a bit.
What is obvious I think, is that dating is hard for a lot of people. I myself know this quite well, I can't even do the whole casual sex thing very well (actually not at all since, ding ding virgin). So yes I've considered these kinds of sites more then once since I am very bad at dating! I am very bad at making my intentions known! I've been rejected directly and indirectly (ye olde let's be friends) so many times that I've nearly given in to believing that I'll be alone all my life. I don't to be that. Once my brother leaves in a few years and I have the aparmtnet to myself, I'll probably go insane. I've never lived alone more then two months.
It's not just being alone, it's all the nice couple stuff! Anyways, going on a bit with issues in this qoute below:
Also, for me it's the fact that I have huge trust issues. So when I do get focused on someone and it doesn't work out, that's hurts even more.
And yes there are shallow, stupid, idiots out there, on both sexes, that fuck up all this for the rest of us.
What is obvious I think, is that dating is hard for a lot of people. I myself know this quite well, I can't even do the whole casual sex thing very well (actually not at all since, ding ding virgin). So yes I've considered these kinds of sites more then once since I am very bad at dating! I am very bad at making my intentions known! I've been rejected directly and indirectly (ye olde let's be friends) so many times that I've nearly given in to believing that I'll be alone all my life. I don't to be that. Once my brother leaves in a few years and I have the aparmtnet to myself, I'll probably go insane. I've never lived alone more then two months.
It's not just being alone, it's all the nice couple stuff! Anyways, going on a bit with issues in this qoute below:
This sorta pinpoints my problems. I'm overweight, have been for some time, but am struggling like hell to get it go away. thing is I eat when I get depressed, so being rejected when I've gotten myself all crushed up on someone, doesn't really help. It comes down to that I'm not a thin guy who knows the fashion sense and thinks drinking ones own head off with the boys is a good night. Me, I don't have many requirments, basically don't be a bat-shit insanse lying moron, and don't have the same weight as a Escalade (I'm not saying I don't like women with meat on their bones, I'm in fact likier to reject someone for being way too thin the the opposite).I'm on one of those services. It's expensive and I don't pay so I don't have all the features.
I look at the profiles once in a while. The problem is all the nice and geeky profiles are 40 and overweight and super tall or something. I guess it usually comes with the territory.
There's one guy from the service who I'm currently e-mailing. For the personality, he seems compatible. His pictures look nice. But this one is like 7 kilos lighter than me! (Being just 1 or 2 cm taller, which doesn't bother me.)
I don't want to be beefier than my guy!!
Last night at a party I saw I guy I vaguely knew and found him very yummy this time. Very elegant and all. Alas! He's gay. All the good ones... you know the rest.
Also, for me it's the fact that I have huge trust issues. So when I do get focused on someone and it doesn't work out, that's hurts even more.
And yes there are shallow, stupid, idiots out there, on both sexes, that fuck up all this for the rest of us.
I hear your pain, Emher. Me, I've lived alone now for coming up to 4 and a half years (i.e. physically alone, no flatmates etc. except the occasional member of family who stays for a few days) but which I've slowly become used to. I'm also very much single, having had crushes out there that have almost always come to nought. (There was this one time where I met someone, not the most attractive woman in the world, but one with a keen sense of direction up there in her noggin, was very pleasant company, had good interests, and as it happened was mother to a 2 year old son, on a long train journey after a gruelling night shift whom I implicitly asked out as part of my sleep deprivation problem, which ended up with us exchanging phone numbers but nothing else materialised, not least of which I found I wasn't ready to commit to a long-term relationship. In any case, I pleaded insanity on that day. But I digress.)
My list of relationship failures is long and distinguished [Yeah, well so is my witty riposte - someone] and I can't poretend to ignore the fact that they've hurt me each time. Sometimes it's a crush that messes up my mind somewhat, that I end up misinterpreting subtle signals as something bigger. On a few cases it was an attempt to get off that failed spectacularly, usually with said target finding happiness in the arms of another man. (In one particularly sad case, my attempts to chat up one particularly nice woman failed three times - each time losing out to a different rival.) Emher, I believe you're onto something when you mentioned trust issues. I used to trust people implicitly during these aforementioned cases, but nowadays, I'm more on-edge, which only serves to make me seem more aloof and terrifying to the opposite sex...
That's not to say I haven't tried to make some adjustments. I have found my "generous" physical form, combined with a face only Rowan Atkinson's mother could love, to be a bit of a burden too, not least at university where during one year I had an unsympathetic flatmate who would try to out-psyche me at every opportunity. Now, I'm more self-aware of physical appearance, and try to resist temptation to indulge myself. I'm slowly getting over my shyness, as that episode on the train during a sleep-deprived moment proved (I tend to lose all inhibitions whenever I'm sleep-deprived for a prolonged time, just to keep me sane and awake) and have learned from that, making me a little more confident with other people now. However, I've consciously tried to avoid workplace-based romances now, as all we'd end up talking about is work, work, work, and nothing about anything else in life.
Back on topic, I've never taken the opportunity to try a dating site, it must be said, paid or otherwise. I'm sure there are lots of nice women out there who are after a piece of me somewhere. [Closer than you think, my friend... but lose that bloody avatar first - someone, probably Holdfast] I find myself torn between the traditional social outing and the seemingly artifical "shop-window" environment of the dating service, especially the Internet services available. Maybe it's the way of the future after all...
But I digress.) My list of relationship failures is long and distinguished [Yeah, well so is my witty riposte - someone] and I can't poretend to ignore the fact that they've hurt me each time. Sometimes it's a crush that messes up my mind somewhat, that I end up misinterpreting subtle signals as something bigger. On a few cases it was an attempt to get off that failed spectacularly, usually with said target finding happiness in the arms of another man. (In one particularly sad case, my attempts to chat up one particularly nice woman failed three times - each time losing out to a different rival.
) Emher, I believe you're onto something when you mentioned trust issues. I used to trust people implicitly during these aforementioned cases, but nowadays, I'm more on-edge, which only serves to make me seem more aloof and terrifying to the opposite sex... That's not to say I haven't tried to make some adjustments. I have found my "generous" physical form, combined with a face only Rowan Atkinson's mother could love, to be a bit of a burden too, not least at university where during one year I had an unsympathetic flatmate who would try to out-psyche me at every opportunity. Now, I'm more self-aware of physical appearance, and try to resist temptation to indulge myself. I'm slowly getting over my shyness, as that episode on the train during a sleep-deprived moment proved (I tend to lose all inhibitions whenever I'm sleep-deprived for a prolonged time, just to keep me sane and awake) and have learned from that, making me a little more confident with other people now. However, I've consciously tried to avoid workplace-based romances now, as all we'd end up talking about is work, work, work, and nothing about anything else in life.
Amen, Brother. Sometimes it's not worth getting up in the morning to put up with people like those.
Back on topic, I've never taken the opportunity to try a dating site, it must be said, paid or otherwise. I'm sure there are lots of nice women out there who are after a piece of me somewhere. [Closer than you think, my friend... but lose that bloody avatar first - someone, probably Holdfast] I find myself torn between the traditional social outing and the seemingly artifical "shop-window" environment of the dating service, especially the Internet services available. Maybe it's the way of the future after all...
Hmm, I just had a thought. Let's say I paid for the privilege of emailing other Match.com members. How do I know the person I'm emailing has also paid? What if they can't respond?
I suppose it's probably best to have a profile on one of the free sites, so you can include a link to it in any emails from the paid sites......
I suppose it's probably best to have a profile on one of the free sites, so you can include a link to it in any emails from the paid sites......
I have a free account on Match.com and it seems that there are two people interested in me and have e-mailed; however, I cannot read their e-mails unless I subscribe.
Presumably, you would be smart enough to include a return email address with an initial sending, to cover that eventuality. I thought with Match, you can read emails sent, but not reply unless you pay? Can't remember if it was Match or Yahoo, but on one of them, I'd occasionally get emails, despite me putting in my profile that I don't pay for it and can't respond. Helped me filter, as anyone that sent an email anyway, with no return address to reply to, failed the minimum IQ test
But yeah, if you send something, provide a way to reply to it. In my case, my profile itself always said that I didn't pay, couldn't respond, but that if they paid attention, they could find a way to contact me. MY screen name would always then be "IM_SCOUT101" (obviously, used my AIM name rather than scout101, but yeah). Most were able to figure that out, or when that wasn't allowed, snuck something similar into the text of the profile. Could then "poke" or send things out, and if they saw the profile and liked it, they could find an easy way to respond. If not, it wasn't a tough thing to send out a few and see what happened.
Problem a lot of people seem to have is to get too fixated on one person or profile too early in the process. It doesn't work well if you do that...
My working theory is that of the "matches" they send you, it would be reasonable to try emailing any who (a) look good and (b) have at least a couple of things on their profile that you like. For instance, so far I've seen one profile mention my favorite ski resort, and another listed Wonderfalls as one of her favorite shows. I'd have emailed both of them if I were a paying member.
I am tempted to try one, but I am afraid I would meet a nut.
You may meet several, in fact. They make for great stories to tell at happy hour.
