Kirk: "Good God, Spock, what happened?"
Spock: "I don't know, Captain. I just took it out to play with it and it...fell off."
TOS Caption Contest Scrimage #1
- Thread starter Shatmandu
- Start date
Kirk: "Good God, Spock, what happened?"
Spock: "I don't know, Captain. I just took it out to play with it and it...fell off."
Carl: "I don' know what de hell you talkin' bout. Dey aint no smoke in dis bathroom! I thin' ya better go 'way now, lady!"
Nurse Chapel: The tests came back positive Carl Spock.
Carl Spock: So dat's why it feels like I put "Little Carl Spock" on a hot plate.
Spock: Captain, a Vulcan must mate every seven years but he must also masturbate once every seven hours.
Spock: Captain, a Vulcan must mate every seven years but he must also masturbate once every seven hours.
Kirk: I realise that Spock, but I thought you knew we had the webcam hooked up to the bridge in case of emergencies.
Kirk; "But... how did you get it stuck in the tape slot?"
Carl Spock: Why you be dissin' me in front of da crew by sayin' I look like I'm bein' shit out of a big ass tribble?
Kirk: "I want my fucking money."
Spock: "HOLD ON. 1200, 1300, 1500, *mumble* Stop making me lose count."
Spock: She actually blew on it, Jim. Most illogical.
Being reduced to memes like Carl Spock, Running Spock and Stealth Spock finally took its toll. Thus Pouty Emo Spock was born.
(I know, he gets emo anyway. Hence the pouty.)
Carl: "You flushed it down the toilet? Christine, that was all we had!"
Adam: "Man, we both knew this shit wasn't gonna work out ..."
Spock: "If you use it all to wrap the presents, how am I supposed to tape my genitals down? I'M NOT GOING TO THE PARTY!"
<Door closes; Chapel buries face in hands.>
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Kirk: "Whopper with cheese? You?"
Kirk: "Hey, the Caption Contests are just silly goofs. No big deal."
Spock, with one tear on cheek: "Why do they hate us so?"
Kirk: "C'mon, let's go nail a Yeoman."
Spock, squinting, raising head: "They've gotten to you, haven't they?"
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Carl Spock: Damn it bitch, how many timez must I tell you not to be botherin' me while I'm trimmin' da hair 'round my "Bilbo Baggins"?
Kirk: "How... how does it work?"
Spock: "I know not, my liege."
Kirk: "Consult the Book of Armaments."
Spock: "And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu..."
Kirk: "Skip a bit, Spock."
Spock: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it."
Kirk: "Amen."
Kirk: "What is it, Spock?"
Spock: "I still can't... can't believe I made that video."
Kirk: "Don't worry too much. Before you know it, it'll fall into obscurity and be forgotten."
Spock: "But captain, there's the Internet."
Kirk: "Oh yeah... forgot about that. Yep, what a shame. It'll probably haunt you the rest of your life."
