TOS Caption Contest #99 - A Dirty Shatchez

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"We've seen it before, Jim.

An unprepared landing party...

not enough warning...

and sentient dildos bent on attacking intruding species."

KIRK:"Note to the galley and mess hall, Spock.

NO MORE taco and fajita nights.

Now if you'll excuse me...I'll be in my sonic shower for the next solar day."

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Comeon comeon Bones. Hurry and get that stitched close or we'll be late for Sulu's wedding."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I can see the head! That's it Spock, one more push!"

Spock: *loud yelling*

M'Benga: "Wait...what is that?"

Kirk: "Dear God!"

Chapel: *faints*

McCoy: "Sweet Jesus."

Kirk: "It's...it's..."

Baby Grignak: "Oh, forgive. I here am new."

 

[M'Sharak]

^ Winner!

 

[Phoenicianknight]

Even Trekkies can get some trim.....

(Notice the ladies white underwear)

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy, muttering: "Bottlerockets out of his butthole ... Goddamned YouTube ..."

 

[SciFi75]

Kirk: It was terrible. One moment I was laughing, the next minute I was confused, and then I felt so dirty and used.

Spock: Obviously you have been reading the Star Trek Caption Contest again, Captain.

 

[SciFi75]

Nimoy: Just great! Shatner gets the two cute blonde's and I get the chick who played Lily Munster.

 

[Kahloke]

Carl's one and *only* trip to La Honda.

Incidentally, thanks for the win a while back!

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Captain's Log, supplemental: since we has used the slingshot effect to do historical research in the year 2008, I took the opportunity to beam down and egg Rat Boy's house. Discovered in the hedges, my butt-first karate move somehow failed and I was knocked unconscious. I was kept prisoner in a mini-barn until I worked my way free of the bonds and dug my way out. Spock was standing outside, with his arms crossed."

McCoy, to himself: "Just one mistake, one slip, and I'd never have to argue with this prick again ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk (thinking): There has got to be a better way to figure out if he's a Skrull or not.

 

[Shatmandu]

Chapel: "Doctor! Starfleet regulations insist that the patient be shaved one-half meter from the wound before surgery."
McCoy: "... Fine <then, under breath:> Pervert."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Captain's Log, supplemental: since we has used the slingshot effect to do historical research in the year 2008, I took the opportunity to beam down and egg Rat Boy's house. Discovered in the hedges, my butt-first karate move somehow failed and I was knocked unconscious. I was kept prisoner in a mini-barn until I worked my way free of the bonds and dug my way out. Spock was standing outside, with his arms crossed."

I always knew those hedges and that greenhouse would come in handy some day.

Edit: Okay, so that's only at my parents' house, but still I have to wonder if Shatmandu's secretly stalking me.

 

[DrBob]

Some movie quotes nicked from Evolution

Chapel: "I'll get the lubricant..."
McCoy: "No time for lubricant!"
Spock: "There's ALWAYS time for lubricant!"


M'Benga: "What are you gonna do?"
McCoy: "We might have to amputate."
Spock: "Whoa, Doc! Don't take the leg! Jim, don't let them take my leg!"
Kirk: "Isn't there anything else you can do? He thinks he's an athlete."
Chapel: "Doctor, look!"
McCoy: "It's headed for his testicles."
Spock: "Take it! Take it! Take the leg!"


M'Benga: "It's over, it's over. You did great! Do you need anything? Can we get you anything?"
Spock: "Ice cream... I'd like an ice cream please."
M'Benga: "Okay, what flavor?"
Spock: "It doesn't matter. It's for my ass."

 

[Triskelion]

Captain's Log Supplemental: The probe was launched successfully into the black hole with only slight tearing of subspace along the event horizon. While the crew survived, the sight of that deep void, disturbingly, will haunt me for the rest of my days. Doctors McCoy and Mabenga, being the experienced professionals they are, continue their work with no sign of emotion - though if they are human, must surely be suffering great discomfort on the inside. Mr Spock, however, in true Vulcan fashion, bears it with the aplomb of his no doubt considerable experience with probes.

Spock: Ha. Ha. Ha.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "I told that son of a bitch to get out of my chair."

 

[highlander]

Kirk: "Spock you'll never guess what happened!"
Spock: "Let me see....We are in orbit of Ram-Ewe XII, You are covered in filth, and you have a pair of Velcro gloves. I'm thinking inter-species erotica."

 

[Triskelion]

And then these little green men started singing about me being too greedy and I was escorted out of the factory!

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"I did too much E and blacked out in waste recycling again...

didn't I?"

KIRK:"Be extra careful, Bones.

Sulu's gonna need that next Friday night."

 

[cooleddie74]

WORST JC Penny catalog photo...ever.