TOS Caption Contest #99 - A Dirty Shatchez

[Gil T.Azell]

Spock: "Captain, I see you've been up that creek with out a paddle?"
Kirk: "How'd you know?"

 

[Gertch]

Kirk: "Hold fast there you."

A print from a lost episode shows the Evil Alternate Empire.

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I much rather preferred carrying T'Bonz around."

 

[Shatmandu]

M'Benga: "Dr. McCoy, this time please use a regulation thermometer and not your middle finger."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "I shall record a commendation for the quartermaster: you had a fight, but your shirt is not torn."

 

[Tim]

It's all fun and games until someone gets poked in the ass.

KIRK: But she...said she...liked dirty sex!

 

[26138]

McCoy: Damn it Spock, I'm a doctor, not a seamstress!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "So... Scatman Crothers..."
Kirk: "Yeah... Turns out, nothing to do with jazz."
Spock: "Another history mystery solved."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Captain ... With a Horta?"

 

[GhoulEddie74]

McCOY:"We might lose him, Jim...

This hot dog is wedged in there pretty damn tight."

KIRK:"How was I supposed to know the right amount of devil's food cake mix to use?!

I've never baked that way before!"

 

[GhoulEddie74]

SPOCK:"...and this time, Doctor...

I had better NOT feel your hands on my shoulders."

 

[Shatmandu]

Sulu, offscreen: "He was asking for it ..."

 

[Shatmandu]

M'Benga: "It's gonna be great!"
Chapel: "You sure about this?"
Kirk: "Not my idea, not my idea."
McCoy: "If he doesn't want his ass and balls shaved, he shouldn't pass out drunk in public ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "It's either this or hope that you pass it out naturally."

 

[Zombie Cheerleader]

Chapel decided the best course of action was to back out of the room and pretend she saw nothing.

 

[John Picard]

Kirk: "Spock -- you *complete* me."

 

[Shatmandu]

Chapel: "How would I know where the buttplug came from?"

Spock: "A fifty year old man just nearly kicked your ass. Maybe lay off the chips?"

 

[GhoulEddie74]

M'BENGA: "Christine...give me 45 c.c.'s of Astroglide and a wet-nap!"

SPOCK:"You fell for the old Ardanan exploding cigar trick...didn't you, Jim?"

 

[GhoulEddie74]

McCOY:"I knew it.

Classic case of velour overdose. Dr. M'Benga...Christine...

prep sickbay for IMMEDIATE blood transfusion and surgery!!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I warned him to stop picking on Sulu ..."

Spock: "I warned you to stop picking up Sulu ..."