TOS Caption Contest #99 - A Dirty Shatchez

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I had snu-snu."

 

[Shatmandu]

Chapel: "Emergency prostate massage, Doctor?"
McCoy: "For a sprained ankle? <feels sorry for her> Eh, sure, why not ..."

M'Benga: "Damned cold. Let me wipe the snot off my hands first ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy (off-camera): "Well, what do you know? I finally got the last turd!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "I was rolled. By a guy who looked just like you, but he had an afro and shades and a purple fur coat ..."

M'Benga: "If he's going to wear a thong, it shouldn't be a white one ..."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Uh, excuse me. I believe I have some bruising and a cracked rib. Why aren't you helping me?"

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Well, that's a side of Spock I've seen before.
Chapel: I knew it! Damn you, Captain, you never let anyone else get laid.

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "I'll just cut up the back of his shirt, exposing his genitals ..."

Spock: "Captain, one should never eat that much chocolate mousse ..."

Spock: "Miss, would you mind scratching my lower back, firmly and repeatedly?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "If he didn't run like a girl, it would have missed."

Spock: "Captain, if you did not wish to become dirty, you should never have agreed to play in my softball league."

Kirk: "You're supposed to punch the clown while watching me make love to all three girls, Spock, not before ..."
Hungarian: "Him so silly!"

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "How was your shore leave?"
Kirk: "I woke up in Scotty's room ..."
Spock: "Ah."
Kirk: "... with my pants around my ankles and a half-eaten plate of haggis on my back."

 

[Captain Leslie]

McCoy: "Jim...I knew that green skin was fake!"

Kirk; " Spock!...I fell down....

Girl on Spocks left; Gah! no more plumik soup for you!

 

[Sir Rhosis]

[

KIRK: And then I said to Carl Spock, "Blow it out yer ass. . ."

 

[alchemist]

Spock: Doctor... my family will pay cash. Whatever ransom you're askin' for, they'll pay it.
McCoy: It rubs the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again.
Spock: Dr. Leonard H. McCoy? Dr. Leonard Hannibal McCoy?

 

[Rat Boy]

Nimoy: "One of these days, Shatner, I'm going to direct and I'm going to make you look like such a limp-dicked wuss."

 

[battrekker]

Kirk: "So, errr, whats up guys. I was takin' a leak and got called down to the lab."
Bones: "According to Spock, captain, Vulcans have this, sort of genetic capability to time travel, by crossing these nerves in his 12th vertabrea and connecting them the the nerve cluster that joins the forked penis to the double sphyncter muscle, in turn short circuiting the nerve to the brain. To activate, you just have to pull this nerve here and...."
Kirk: "What, you mean along with the 'spare' eyelids and double sphyncter and, ya know, all the other 'Spock stuff' used as plot devices?"
Bones: "in short, yeah"

Sounds worthy of a voyager episode

 

[battrekker]

McCoy: Oh he's so dry. I didn't baste him enough. Another holiday dinner ruined! (runs off sobbing)

At that moment, M'Benga discovers that McCoy didn't remove the plastic stuffing bag from Spock.

 

[cooleddie74]

"Sorry, Jim.

Your hamster didn't make it."

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"You forgot where we store the surplus lavatory paper again...didn't you?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

Scenes from the Academy:
SPOCK: So Finnegan kicked your ass again?

KIRK (on the verge of tears): He knocked over my books and tore up my Spinoza essay too!!!

SPOCK (rolls eyes): Man up Jimmy!!!!

(Work out montage)

(One week later)

SPOCK: My hero!!!!

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"Steady...and regular, Jim.

Only THIS time...try not to soil the examination bench, will ya?"

DANCING WITH THE STAR TREKKERS

Season 4 Coming Soon!

KIRK:"Take that BACK!!!!

My gut isn't as embarrassing as your haircut!!!"

Yet another senseless and tragic overdose from glitter velour.

When will they LEARN?

SPOCK:"I don't know what you Earthmen call this substance you slipped me...but right now...I LOVE YOU, MAN!!!"

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "Superman Underoos?"