TOS Caption Contest #98 - A Game Boy

[EliyahuQeoni]

"Why, Yes, these are assless chaps"

 

[Tim]

Ensign Randy always enjoyed when the female officers went commando.

MCCOY: "That's what she said."

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "So Scotty sent his vacation pictures to everyone?"
Kirk: "He's gonna lose a finger that way ..."

Lt. Gawky: "My friends and I ... well, I was, were wondering, well, was wondering, that is ... I was wondering if, you know, if you <snorts erupt from other side of room, so he turns> SHUT UP, YOU ASSHOLES! <turns back> Okay, I just ... Iwaswonderingifyou'dliketodance?"
Charlene: "Sure. <then whispers> How about a sympathy fuck?"

 

[Shatmandu]

McCoy: "Do you ever watch anything that doesn't involve someone spitting on their fingers?"

 

[Outpost4]

^

Lt. Numnuts: No, it's only a red alert in this room. Strange - I feel like it's following me around the ship.

 

[Outpost4]

(twelve years before The Cage)

Jim: It's the Feds!
Carl: We never should have burned our draft cards.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Ah, crap. The Dark Knight's sold out again. I guess we'll have to go to Mamma Mia."

McCoy: "Like hell I will!"

 

[Outpost4]

Lt. Numnuts: I've got a tribble in my trousers.

 

[Triskelion]

I rule at Analog Tetris!

You move your blip across the field and when you get a touchdown, you hear a little monophonic charge music.

I'll be in my quarters. No damn visitors, Spock!

Captain, I -
Shh Spock! Use code names!
Uh, Professor Tiberius Funk...I think they have seen through our disguises.
No, we cool, Mack Master Spock.

 

[M'Sharak]

"Nay, Carl! Think ye of the Sodium! Yea, of the Cholesterolle!"
"Unhand me, Varlet, and desist at once! I purpose to go Thither
and Procure me the DeLuxe Chilli Dogge! Withe Onionnes!"

 

[cooleddie74]

"Hey, ladies!

Can I interest you in an assful of redshirt spunk?"

McCOY:"They used to call it SUPER SMASH BROTHERS.

It took me a lot of work to get my hands on this, Jim. Thing's addictive as hell, too!"

Next week on a very special STARSKY AND HUTCH...

Time travelers from Earth's future interfere with some of Huggy Bear's best-laid plans, and things go haywire!

 

[SciFi75]

Ensign Ricky returns...again.

Ensign Ricky: I got a shuttle to dock ladies. Who's gonna guide me in for the landing?

 

[cooleddie74]

ENSIGN RICKY:"So...

either of you hotties want to be the first to claim you took a 35-year-old underachieving ensign's virginity on the observation deck?"

 

[cooleddie74]

McCOY:"If it's okay with you...can you co-sign this for me, Jim?

I'm trying to get a loan to start a biomimetic gel shipping business."

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "I've been trying to warn ya', Jim. It's not only the Neutral Zone, it's also a dead zone."

 

[Nerys Myk]

CHARLENE: Funny story. Just before you showed up we decided to become lesbians.

 

[Rat Boy]

Diamond Jim: "Sombreros? Why I oughta..."

Carl Spock: "Don't interfere with progress, man. Just hope that someway, somehow, Trekmovie.com gives us the dap that's coming to us."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

McCoy: Jim, I hate to break the news, but...
Kirk: My god, Bones, there's not going to be a Trek XI panel at Comic-Con!

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: Jim, I hate to break the news, but...
Kirk: My god, Bones, there's not going to be a Trek XI panel at Comic-Con!

Kirk: "My God, that kid playing me in the poster looks nothing like me!"

McCoy: "At least you got a poster! I got replaced by that Mike Tyson-looking dude."

 

[Triskelion]

Excuse me ladies, I just need to rest. This thing has been dragging me down all day.

See, I told you size 11. Now bring me something in a black pump.