TOS Caption Contest #50: A Question . . .

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

What can be said about this past week's contest that hasn't already been said about the Hindenburg? My goodness.

Tharpdevenport gets win #3 as he hung on tight with:

Tharpdevenport said:

Captain Penis Rock: "Attack the asses at once!!!"

. . . and M´Sharak (first win) & Nerys Myk (sixth win!) tag-teamed on:

M´Sharak said:

Nerys Myk said:

Zachary Quinto's first day on set is ruined by a over zealous TOS fanboy shouting "You're not Spock!"

A spokesman for Warped9 later declined to comment on the incident.

Very cool, all of you! And thanks to everyone who entered, for helping make it a memorable one.

Let's take it down a notch with this week's bits. They don't quite lead you directly into the cornhole jokes so much . . .

Be gentle.

Joe, lambish



TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Laughing Vulcan (2x), jayrath, scottydog (2x), Gertch (2x), Guartho, Tristan, TBonz (2x), Woulfe, terranova, Rat Boy, Battrekker, AlphaTrionTJW, M'Sharak, Galleywest, Outpost4, Quo Vadimus, all y'all, cooleddie74, FishDS9, Nerys Myk and TigerOfDarkness, scottydog (3x) and Rat Boy (2x), Outpost4 (2x) and TBonz (3x), Rat Boy (3x) and commodore64, Rat Boy (4x!) and Noname Given, DeafPoet and The Tone, scottydog (4x!) and Nerys Myk (2x) & Redfern, The Tone (2x) and DrBob and cooleddie74 (2x) and Gertch (3x) and Shatmandu and Outpost4 (3x) and The Laughing Vulcan (3x) and Tharpdevenport and ancient and Woulfe (2x), cakes516 and Adam Ihle, Nerys Myk (3x) and cooleddie74 (3x), Tharpdevenport and Outpost4 (4x), Rat Boy (5x!) and Nerys Myk (4x), The Squire of Gothos and Nerys Myk (5x!), Gertch (4x) and Turbo, scottydog (5x!) and Rat Boy (6!!)and cooleddie74 (4x), Tharpdevenport (2x) and goldbug, The Laughing Vulcan (4x) and The Squire of Gothos (2x), The Squire of Gothos (3x), and galleywest (2x), Adam Ihle (2x) and DrBob(2x), DrBob (3x!) and Classic Fan, Outpost4 (5x!) and Tim M and Gertch (5x!) and DrBob (4x!!), Haggis and Tatties and A Beaker Full Of Death, Adam Ihle (3x!) and Outpost4 (6x!!), Adam Ihle (4x!) and Outpost4 (7x!!), Rat Boy (7x!!) and cooleddie74 (5x), galleywest (3x!) and cooleddie74 (6x!), Tharpdevenport (3x) and M´Sharak & Nerys Myk (6x!)!

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "What is this, Spock?"
Spock: "Perhaps if I put a little hair around it, you would know."
Kirk: "Oh, meow, bitch."

Kirk, writing: "Dear Vulcan High Counsel: is it really ancient Vulcan tradition to go pantsless during meals? Kirk, commanding, Enterprise."

And a repeat the other thread:

Balok Puppet: "I'm history, bitches!"

And a blank:

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: I don't know, Spock. A few throw pillows, a comfy couch and some bright color accents and I think it could be homey.

Dear Abby, Dear Abby
Well I never thought
That me and my girlfriend would ever get caught
We were sitting in the back seat, just shooting the breeze
With her hair up in curlers and her pants to her knees
Signed, Just Married.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Riled by archived pages from the caption contest, Kirk plotted his badly paintshopped revenge.

 

[terranova]

Spock: There's some markings, Captain, 'Homer was here'?

Kirk: Geggs, what's geggs?

 

[Shatmandu]

Guardian: "Captian, perhaps you'd like to see what your first officer did in the bathroom as a teenager?"

Kirk, writing a dirty limerick about Uhura: "Let's see . . . what rhymes with 'big thatch'?"

Shatner: "The script I saw said 'runes.' I don't see any runes."

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Spock: "I believe that this what was referred to in the twentieth century as a 'Hole in the wall'"

Kirk: "So we can get money from here? How do we do that then?"

Spock: "If I recall correctly, one is required to insert something."

Kirk: "Well I must say you have a high opinion of me."

"I don't believe in the no win scenario, I don't believe in the no win scenario, I don't believe in the... Shit! Stupid Tic Tac Toe."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Guardian, can you show us the future?"

Guardian: "I was made to display time in this manner."

Kirk: "Well, some goddamn time portal you are."

Kirk (writing): Dear Penthouse forums, I honestly thought this would never happen to me, but one day I was on a landing party to Beta III when these lawgivers with giant brown...

 

[scottydog]

Kirk: Spock, is this what I think it is?

Spock: Indeed, Captain. The Guardian of Foreskin.

Kirk: For the non-bifurcated.

Spock: Another 'temporal anomaly', Captain.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "So this is what Carl uses to clip the ends of his reefers."

"Mmmm, let's see... What does... mumble mumble... mmm. Hey Spock, What's five letters, and means green blooded, half breed, son of a bitch? First letter S, fourth letter C... Spock? Spock?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Spock: "I fail to see the historical significance..."

Kirk: "Shut up, they're getting to the funny part."

Kirk: "Run!"

 

[M'Sharak]

...'This Starfleet memorandum has been brought to you by
Preparation H'... Wow, this really isn't my father's Starfleet!

 

[Woulfe]

When Gene told the cast they'd be getting a huge doughnut for the craft service table they had no idea just how big it would be.

Dear Diary, today I bangged 25 alien babes in tin-foil swim suits, it's good to be the Captain.

 

[Outpost4]

Spock: Captain, I don't think we should be standing so close to the Anus of Forever.

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "No, Guardian, I think we can skip that part of the past, please."

 

[Woulfe]

Kirk : It's a what ?

Spock : A cock ring.

Kirk : I'd hate to see the cock it goes to.

Spock : Well, my tricorder says whatever it is, it's heading this way right now.

Dear Diary, You'd never believe the day i've had.

 

[CaptainJon]

"You think the bowl is big, you should see the butt cheeks that use it."

"Captain's log. Saw some big butt cheeks on away mission today. You should've seen the front to match. Even made my captain's log jealous."

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "Shit, they charge for beer refills? Maybe I should pass the bill over to Spock."

 

[scottydog]

Spock: Sir, why write "nipple"?

Kirk: No, Mr. Spock, my right nipple. It's erect now.

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Shit.

Why'd we have to come here the week I have to avoid sexual activity?

DAMN you, Bones!!!"

"Dear Pentbase...

You'll never believe this actually happened, but these three women came aboard from a damaged freighter and before I knew it..."