TOS Caption Contest #50: A Question . . .

[SciFi75]

galleywest said:


The Guardian of Forever wakes up with a splitting headache to find his room trashed and two weirdos in pajamas hanging out. He decides that this the last time he invites those Fraternity of Afterthought guys over for a party. He means it this time.

Good one.

 

[Outpost4]

Nimoy: I don't know if hosting a game show is a good career move, Bill.

 

[Outpost4]

Kirk: Scotty, Carl wants you to beam down three 55 gallon barrels of Mazola.

 

[Gertch]

Spock: "You broke the mirror Jim."
Kirk: "Damn. Scotty, beam us up - quickly."

 

[Rat Boy]

With all apologies to Adam Ihle and Gertch

Kirk: What the hell am I looking at? When does this happen in the episode?
Spock: Now. You're looking at now, sir. Everything that happens now is happening now.
Kirk: What hapened to then?
Spock: We passed then.
Kirk: When?
Spock: Just now. We're at now now.
Kirk: Go back to then.
Spock: When?
Kirk: Now!
Spock: Now?
Kirk: Now!
Spock: I can't.
Kirk: Why?
Spock: We missed it.
Kirk: When?
Spock: Just now.
Kirk: When will then be now?
Spock: Soon.
Kirk: How soon?
Guardian: Captain.
Kirk: What?
Guardian: We've identified Dr. McCoy's location.
Kirk: Where?
Guardian: It's 20th Century.
Spock: Good work. Fast Forward and prepare for our arrival.
Kirk: When?
Guardian: 1930.
Spock: By high noon we will have him back.
Kirk: WHO!?

 

[Turd Ferguson]

"Mr. Spock, is it just my imagination, or is this rock formation somewhat... arousing?"

Although the crew may laugh and mock him behind his back, Captain Kirk vowed that he would continue his Picard/Crusher fanfiction, goddammit.

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: Unethical dirty minded redneck trekkies.

Spock: Indeed, must be Shatmandu.


That is NOT my aim Shat... I am just putting in quotes like anyone else.

 

[NathanielM]

Kirk: <scribbling as he tried to write Porn on the side>

... Rand pulled off her blouse and flashed her bridge crew before she kissed, twirling her the tassels on her maginificent breasts. Spock leaned over and whispered, "This is illogical Miss Rand." Those are fake!


Kirk: Oh shit I'm getting a woody, better keep my legs crossed!

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Note to engineering: Remember to install a commode in the Captain's chair for those red alert moments.

 

[Shatmandu]

Deep, Echo-y Voice: "I ... am the Glory-Hole of Forever."

Kirk: "You can't go on any more Landing Parties if you keep slapping Uhura and making her carry your solid gold cane."
Carl: "Habits, baby, habits. Sorry ..."
Kirk: "That's fine. Pardon me while I shave."

 

[Shatmandu]

Shatner, writing: "Dear Nichelle: this is Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., here. Please stay on the show. I am a big fan of the series. You can not give up, for you are playing a vital role model for young black children and women across the country. Love, Marty."

Nimoy, off-screen: "It'll never work."

 

[Outpost4]

Spock: Why does it demand a disco ball?

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "Could Starfleet have chosen a worse venue for this 'Sexy'n Single Meet'n Mingle'?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "They're right: we do look gay."

 

[Shatmandu]

Kirk: "Guardian, show me NathanielM accepting his People's Choice Award for Best Comedy Performance."
Guardian: "Must specify: which year, out of the dozens?"

 

[Rat Boy]

Diamond Jim: "Greetings, dudes! Give us the Patchouli beam or suffer the GROOVY consequences!"

Kirk: "I hate the Groovies."

 

[Gertch]

Spock: "Apparently its a mirror ball Universe."
Kirk: "I wonder if they have a Uhura..."

 

[Shatmandu]

Gertch said:

Spock: "Apparently its a mirror ball Universe."
Kirk: "I wonder if they have a Uhura..."

Carl: "We've all had her! Her happy trail is an eight lane highway, and it ends at the top of her asscrack."

 

[Shatmandu]

Spock: "We must prevent them from going back in time and pimping out the Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders."
Kirk: "Why? What's the difference?"

 

[cooleddie74]

SPOCK:"I propose we access the Guardian to travel back to the year 1981 and force Paris Hilton's father to wear a condom."