TOS Caption Contest #40: Chah-lee's Ah New Daaah-ling

[Shatmandu]

Hiya, folks.

No time for love, Doctor Jones, so let us get right to it.

This week's titters were from The Laughing Vulcan, his 4th win, with:

The Laughing Vulcan said:

Nimoy: "That thing looks familiar... Fucking Shatner!"

. . . and The Squire of Gothos gets win #2 with this dandy:

The Squire of Gothos said:

KIRK: Mr Balok's puppet, its Jim and Hikaru from Avon calling, we have some free samples if you're interested.
BALOK'S PUPPET: COME IN. YOU HAVE ONE MINUTE.

Great goodies, the both of you. And thanks for everyone who put one up.

This week's bits are:

TOS Caption Contest Pantheon of Winners

Laughing Vulcan (2x), jayrath, scottydog (2x), Gertch (2x), Guartho, Tristan, TBonz (2x), Woulfe, terranova, Rat Boy, Battrekker, AlphaTrionTJW, M'Sharak, Galleywest, Outpost4, Quo Vadimus, all y'all, cooleddie74, FishDS9, Nerys Myk and TigerOfDarkness, scottydog (3x) and Rat Boy (2x), Outpost4 (2x) and TBonz (3x), Rat Boy (3x) and commodore64, Rat Boy (4x!) and Noname Given, DeafPoet and The Tone, scottydog (4x!) and Nerys Myk (2x) & Redfern, The Tone (2x) and DrBob and cooleddie74 (2x) and Gertch (3x) and Shatmandu and Outpost4 (3x) and The Laughing Vulcan (3x) and Tharpdevenport and ancient and Woulfe (2x), cakes516 and Adam Ihle, Nerys Myk (3x) and cooleddie74 (3x), Tharpdavenport and Outpost4 (4x), Rat Boy (5x!) and Nerys Myk (4x), The Squire of Gothos and Nerys Myk (5x!), Gertch (4x) and Turbo, scottydog (5x!) and Rat Boy (6!!)and cooleddie74 (4x), Tharpdavenport (2x) and goldbug, The Laughing Vulcan (4x) and The Squire of Gothos (2x)!

 

[Shatmandu]

Crewman On Wall: "Get 'im, Captain!"
Crewman Off-screen: "Get 'im, Captain!"
Kirk's Penis: "Yeah, get 'im, Captain!"

McCoy: "Your penis actually talked?"

 

[Classic Fan]

Kirk: Ill have a double cheeseburger, large fries and a Balok puppet meal please.
McCoy: Nah, you want the McBenga's stand, down two rows and on the left. We serve only jelly beans, displayed on the counter behind us.

 

[Rat Boy]

Charlie: "Now are you sure that if I do these exercises, I can grow up to have a big package like you?"

Kirk: "Well, you are a spineless wimp, but it never hurts to try."

McCoy: "Jesus Christ! How long's that zit been on your nose?"

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"BEND OVER, young man! Sam here is gonna show you how things really work on a starship!"

McCOY:"You mind tellin' us, Jim, WHAT you were thinkin' when you had the word "SLAVE" tattooed to your right cheek?!?"

 

[Maurice]

The Enterprise's production of Swan Lake was off to a poor start....

McCOY: Now just a damned minute...just because Spock's inner eyelids are stuck, that's no reason to make faces like THAT at him!

 

[T'Bonz]

Kirk: NO, you can't have a tutu to match the tights! So stop sulking.

McCoy: And the worst thing is, he keeps nodding off when I'm in the middle of speaking to him! Captain? CAPTAIN! Oh NO...not him too!

 

[cooleddie74]

KIRK:"Nice ass.

Thasians have you on a chicken skin diet or something?"

 

[Shatmandu]

Charlie: "I don't wanna play no more!"

 

[Outpost4]

Charlie: Has anybody seen my socks?

 

[Vagabond]

image 1:
Ok Charlie, let me show you how to grab a girl's ass properly.

image 2:
De: Bill, are you ever going to finish a sentence? Leonard just fell asleep waiting for his line.

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Spock had long ago grown tired of hearing it, but it fascinated Bones no end to hear that story about the Captain, the two yeomen and the Tellerite.

 

[MANT!]

(Crewman on wall) "Mine's bigger kid.."

 

[Gertch]

"The first thing you'll learn here at the Santa Claus training facility Charlie, is how to carry a package."

 

[Gertch]

"Turn around and look Charlie. It's normal to feel icky at first but it'll get better."

 

[Vagabond]

Image 1:
Bill Shatner in a mischievous mood suddenly broke into song on the set with:

"Cheer Up Charlie
Give me a smile,
What happened to the smile I used to know
Don't you know your grin has always been my sunshine;
Let that sunshine show...

Come on Charlie,
No need to frown,
Deep down you know tomorrow is your toy...

When the days get heavy
Never pitter patter
Up and attum boy.

Someday, sweet as a song,
Charhe's lucky day will come along,
Till that day,
You've got to stay strong Charlie,
Up on top is right where you belong.

Look up Charlie,
You'll see a star,
Just follow it and keep your dreams in view.
Pretty soon the sky is going to clear up Charlie,
Cheer up Charlie do,
Cheer up Charlie,
Just be glad you're you."

 

[Ihlecreations]

Star Trek broke yet more new ground on television in the 1960's with this scene of a haunting rendition of row row row your boat performed entirely by flatulence.

 

[Outpost4]

McCoy: So that's where the story of mutilation by the rice picker came from.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Kirk: "It's your choice Charlie, it can be me, or you can take pot luck and use the glory hole after Ensign no-name over there. And remember, Vulcans' are bifurcated."

Kirk: "Frankly Bones, I preferred you without the breast implant."

Spock: "Indeed!"

McCoy: "Well fuck you both. I'm keeping it. I haven't had any in years and that turned out to be a salt vampire!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "What are you standing around for? Try to kick me! Are you girl? Is that what your problem is?"

McCoy: "What have I told you about teasing the kids with godlike powers? Now look at your face. Even Spock's repulsed by it."

Kirk: "Look, I know I stepped over the line, but really, is this face that bad?"

McCoy: "It's getting worse, Jim."

Kirk: "Shit."