Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #311: Thrusters at Stationkeeping

Sulu: Can you connect to the wifi?
D'amato: Nope. I can't get into the only network available. It's called ' iwillexplodeallthecellsinyourbody-lorisa '
Sulu: I got a bad feeling about this.

 

Sulu: (wispering) Uhura isn't looking, is she?
Scottie: Don't worry laddie, she's busy. Just keep a lock on the World Cup transmission.




Sulu: Are we next?
Kirk: Yes, but only one person fits in the tanning booth




Sulu: Mr. Spock, I know my penmanship is marginal, but do you have to rub it in by assigning me a secretary?
Leslie: (snickering under his breath) Trying to cross brains with Spock? ... nice knowing you.




Sulu: Damn it, my thumbs are too big for texting. It's so frustrating.
D'Amato: I keep telling you ... Samsung Notes is the only way to go.




Sulu: Hey Doc, I hate getting these MRIs. You'd think after 300 years you geniuses could make a machine that wouldn't induce claustrophobia ... and bite me if you think talking to you on the communicator is going to help.
McCoy: What am I a doctor or a baby sitter? Just keep playing with those switches and pretend you are steering the Enterprise.

 

Never meant in a mean spirit. Consider the joke edited and withdrawn from consideration for sensitivities. Sorry to derail the thread. Back to the fun.

 

Sulu: "I'm so glad that we found a bathroom!"

Kirk: "Don't eat so much filet mignon next time."

 

"So ... what's happening outside with all the cops, Bill?"
"Well, let's see, Georgie ...They're rounding up the Trekkies waiting to decend upon us and devour us."
"Maybe you shouldn't have made that 'Get a Life' remark, then ... huh?"
"Let me put it this way: I won't be doing conventions again, for a long ... long time."

 

Sulu: "Do you think any of those machines are stored in there?"

Kirk: "I'm sure as hell gonna find out!"

 

Sulu: "Wow, I hope that isn't a bad omen!"

Kirk: "You haven't had a command yet, so you have nothing to lose."

Sulu: "I meant...."

Kirk: "I know what you meant and I'm not acknowledging it!"

 

Kirk: According to Captain Christopher's instructions, this must be the darkroom.

Sulu: Why is there a red light coming out from it?

Kirk: It must not be completely dark.

 

Nimoy: "Are you in the shaft?"

George: "Yes."

Nimoy: "Can anybody hear you outside of the communicator?"

George: "No, no one can hear me."

Nimoy: "Good. Now say all you stupid shit there and stay off social media and cable news."

 

Sulu: "Oh SHIT!!!"

Kirk: "Relax, Mister Sulu....they're just messing with your head."

 

"Oh! And by the way, Mister La Forge, I was driving starships, while your great-grandfather was still in diapers! -- Fire away at 'im, Mr. Sulu!"

 

SCOTT: Now hold both buttons down at the same time..

 

Sulu: "I think we already had the kinky-looking dog...."

Kirk: "Quit or split, Mister Sulu."

 

SULU: How long till the pizzas are ready?

 

SULU: I found the problem. This is just a panel someone pulled off a console and glued to the side of this tube.

 

Sulu: Have you tried Grindr?
D'amato: Not yet. Is it like a hoagie, hero, poboy, wedge, flattop, battleship, or sub?

 

Sulu: "I guess that's the last photo on their wall of honor."

Kirk: "For the moment, Mister Sulu....only for the moment."

 

SULU: I can't see the screen! Why did we give up iPhones?

 

Mr. Sulu was SHOCKED when he pushed the wrong button at put the Red Tube video he was glancing at up on the main viewscreen. Mr. Scott was likewise amazed he, himself was IN the video - as back in the day, his Academy roommates swore up and down there wasn't a hidden camera in his bedroom.

 

"What do you mean, I'm in a photon torpedo tube, and you're about to fire on the Kling--"