Scotty dreaded working with Crewman Butt Toucher.
Looks more like a Tucker to me, lad.
Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #309: Miracle Worker
- Thread starter LeadHead
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Looks more like a Tucker to me, lad.
Acting captain's log, stardate 3747.8. Yesterday, I probably should have waited until after purging the neutron reactors to open that bottle of Saurian brandy....
"Scotty, beam down my hot dogs for the scout troop. The coals are ready."
Mudd: "Don't drug me with Stella's love potion!"
Kirk: "It's not Stella's..."
McCoy: "Didn't I see you in Mayberry? Or as Mr Furley?"
McCoy: "YOU TOOK MY PICKLE WITHOUT ASKING!"
Spock: "It was the logical thing to do, you were not going to eat it."
McCoy: "PROVE IT"
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Note: for the Scotty pics, there's a wee bit of a setup needed so here it is:
McCoy: "Did you just do that? Gross."
Jaeger: "Look boney, I tarned you already. Just what did you think a Jaegerbomb was anyway, a drink?!"
"Scotty to Sick Bay: Spock looks bored. Bring up another round of Jaegerbombs."
Scotty: "Remind me to tell the Cap'n never to let Jaeger on an away team ever again. Not because he wears blue but because his Jaeherbombs are too much..."
"Chief Engineer's log: I've got a new plan to get inside of the engines."
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.
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4 minutes and 56 seconds (and 78 milliseconds) later:
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.
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"Cap'n, do you remember that movie 'American Pie'? Well, I've gotta story for ye, but there's been a - um - wee accident and ye might be jealous of the ship..."
Scotty: "Don't turn around, laddie. One look and you'll want a pair of those silver go-go boots in your size. Also, who let the Jaegerbomb off in here?"
Called-out technician: "Not me. Incidentally, my name is Arnold J Rimmer".
Scotty: "Scotty to Engineering. Can ye send me a shirt a wee bit more red?"
Scotty: "I'll try 'n' hold 'er together the best I can, Cap'in, but unless we get some blue and yellow goin' up here, I donno how long we shall last."
Scotty (in a low voice to himself): "Somehow this doesn't seem like such a good idea..."
Yes, I'm coming. I'll be right down, captain. I just wanted to change my shirt first.
The clue says there's a 6-pack hidden here somewhere, but as ranking officer, no matter which of us finds it, I get two of them.
The captain is always losing change in this chair. Ah, here's some. Looks like the drinks are Jim tonight.
Siri, play something from the highlands collection.
Ach, looks like somebody already found my hidden snacks and clean me out.
The clue says there's a 6-pack hidden here somewhere, but as ranking officer, no matter which of us finds it, I get two of them.
The captain is always losing change in this chair. Ah, here's some. Looks like the drinks are Jim tonight.
Siri, play something from the highlands collection.
Ach, looks like somebody already found my hidden snacks and clean me out.
Scott: "Bridge to sickbay. Could ye send somebody up here smartly? I've got me arm stuck in the command chair again."
Scott: "Scott to Crewman Warren; ye might want to think about putting a wee bit less bleach in the laundry processors..."
Scotty: "Captain, I found the Laws of Physics component, but it's enclosed un-accessible like an old Apple phone from the 21st century."
Kirk: "Scotty, are you telling me you cannot change the Laws of Physics?"
Scotty: "Aye, sir."
Kirk: "Damnit. If only we could jailbreak the Laws of Physics."
Mean while, the elusive hunt continues for the original Caption This thread starter.....
This is a race like no other in history.
Can these Red Shirts withstand the stress of traveling together across almost 35,000,000,000 lights years?
Who will muster the right combination of brains, brawn and teamwork to win the one million credits?
Who will die randomly and gratuitously on alien worlds throughout the galaxy?
These are the questions weighing most heavily as we get ready to begin...The Amazing Galactic Red Shirt Race!
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Engineer's log, supplemental: If just one more person makes fun of my Scottish accent, I'm ge 'm n' th' forty 'er so up'n ta' or'n th' nacelle caps 'n aell a' th' aft bay doors! An' that's nae threat b' a flu' m'en promise!
Scotty: I don't know but I been told
Redshirts: I don't know but I been told
Scotty: Vulcan girls will lose control
Redshirts: Vulcan girls will lose control!
Scotty: Warp speed Sulu, not now Bones
Redshirts: Warp speed Sulu, not now Bones
Scotty: Uhura get Starfleet on the phone!
Redshirts: Uhura get Starfleet on the phone!
Scotty: Mister Spock took off his socks
Redshirts: Mister Spock took off his socks
Scotty: And scratched his Vulcan chicken pox
Redshirts: And scratched his Vulcan chicken pox
Scotty: Captain Kirk he ripped his shirt
Redshirts: Captain Kirk he ripped his shirt
Scotty: And made the Gorn say red alert!
Redshirts: And made the Gorn say red alert!
Scotty: Sound off....
Redshirts: RRRrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeallllllllllllggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!
Scotty: Borgas frat, just when they finally learned the words.
You'll never know the burden that captaining a starship places on your shoulders. Your crew's lives hanging on every word you utter. Everyone turning to you for guidance and answers. Well here goes...Is it plugged in lads?
Scotty: Scott to Uhura, can you call Starfleet and inform them I've stuck it in the magnetic constrictor lock again. They'll know what it means.
Com: Sugar we all know what it means
Laddie...I said reach around and hold the hot restraint, not reach around and hold the Scot taint.
Scott: "Does anyone else hear the theme from Chariots of Fire, or is it just me?"
After a few years on the job, Number One started to look a little worse for wear.
Scotty: I've got a bad feeling about this...
Scotty: Where the hell is the flush on this thing?
Scotty: Siri, where is the nearest dilithium resupply station?
Scotty had a bad feeling that someone was eager to replace him.
Skinny Scotty: "Leaddie, don't you think it's gone on a wee bit long?"
Scotty: Chief Engineer's Personal Log. Sure, this color shirt isn't as flashy as the red but I can finally relax now.
Kirk (just off screen): "EW, Scotty! Don't relax that much! Kirk to the janitorial staff; clean up on the Bridge..."
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