Contest: ENTER TOS Caption Contest #303: Caption is Yesterday
- Thread starter LeadHead
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...a maniac, a maaaaniac on the flur.
Ond sh's dooncin' lik sh's n'er doonced befour...
The expected ratings coup that was Star Trek's adaptation of The Miracle Worker failed to materialize.
Sulu: "Look Captain! There's a rythmic ceremonial ritual coming up."
Kirk: "Of course, the Enchantment Under the Sea dance. They're supposed to go to this. It's where they kiss for the first time."
Sulu: "That's great. I'll stick to your ever-so-great grandfather like glue. You work on your female ancestor... On second thoughts, better do it the other way round. We want to avoid a Fry paradox."
By the 23rd century 'Twerking' had devolved into something much different.
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My... PRECIOUUSSSS.
23rd century portable video players leave a lot to be desired.
KIRK: My prank on Sulu was a complete success. Spock really "enjoyed" the film of him with the airbase plants.
COMPUTER: That's nice, darling.
KIRK: You won't address me in that manner. We'll have you overhauled.
COMPUTER: That tape of you and the Tellarite Ambassador engaged in "hot negotiations" will look fabulous on the main viewscreen, darling.
KIRK: Understood, dear.
Bones: I see Spock found the secret government genetic hybrid experiment entitled "Great Danehuahua".
Spock: A most illogical pairing.
Sulu: So you keep saying, sir.
Com: Engine room! More power! ENGINE ROOM!
<♫Theme from Flashdance♫>
Captain's log, Stardate...uncertain. Today we had six more crewmen visit us from the 24th century - including the most hilarious Klingon I've ever laid eyes on. Apparently the Klingons have their own version of the elephant man. Kor and I have agreed to refer to him as "Targ Boy" for our logs.
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Captain's log, Stardate: Weekend at Nyota's....
Sulu: See that, sir? They're offering an extension class on Japanese Culture at the Learning Annex.
Kirk: Read the fine print, Sulu: "Japanese Pre-Internet Culture."
Sulu: Oh, well, never mind then.
Kirk: Thought so.
Kirk: "Captain's personal log: after trying to put books side-by-side, label out, like normal people do, and symmetrical book stacking, I am now trying to put them side-by-side with the lable facing up in an attempt to appear normal and like I actually read books. So far no one is the wiser..."
Sulu: "What is it, sir?"
Kirk: "A "Lost Tribble" poster."
Sulu: "Really? How long's it been up there?"
Kirk: "About two days now."
Sulu: *laughs* "Then it's only a matter of time..."
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Captain's Log, supplemental: The new deodorant that, Doctor McCoy, prescribed for me, does not appear, to be working. Phew!
Kirk: "Should I give the next alien we contact my steely gaze of gritty determination, or a heartwarming look of benevolent goodwill? Oh, heck; I'll just split the difference. What do you think, Leonard? Does this look say, "iron fist in a velvet glove"?
McCoy (OS, arms crossed): "Nope, it says, "I need my eyes checked." That, or, "I'm a psycho nutjob.""
Kirk: *sigh* "Can't you ever take off your doctor hat once in a while, Bones?"
McCoy (OS): "Nope. Sorry, Jim."
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Computer: Not even if I was the last computer in the universe, "dear".
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