TOS Caption Contest #299: Captionpaw The Revenge!

Kirk: Naked Uhura riding a leopard on black velvet?
Korob: My greatest masterpiece.
Spock: I will give you ten thousand credits for it right now.

 

Danke schoen for the win.


McCoy: One case of Saurian brandy says I can toss this right in her mouth, Jim.
Kirk: Bones, I'm reasonably sure this is inappropriate behavior regarding a patient under sedation.


McCoy: This sort of behavior is strictly barred by the Star Fleet, Jim.
Kirk: I'm sure I don't understand.
McCoy: Interefering with the natives? Directive Numero Uno, buddy-boy.
Kirk, sotto: How much brandy has the doctor had?


Spock: This distinction between a salad fork and a dinner fork is illogical, captain. I will not honor it.
Scotty: How d'you like that? Barbarity!


Guide: Stop! He who would cross the bridge of death must answer me these questions three, 'ere the other side he see.
Kirk: *sigh* This again.

 

KIRK: Nice party, Spock. Great turnout. Love the magician.

SPOCK: Sarcasm is very unbecoming, Captain.

 

McCoy: "You just watch yourselves, I have the death sentence in twelve systems."

 

Spock: Meat gives me gas.
Kirk: Oh really? Then I was mistaken, because I've been laboring under the false impression that it was A DEAD SEHLAT LODGED PERMANENTLY IN YOUR ANAL CAVITY.

 

TFTW



Kirk: What's taking Chekov so long?

McCoy: I warned him not to have the fish.



Kirk: Gentleman, we have found a new power source.

McCoy: Frozen balls of urine.



McCoy: No Jim, it's always Spock. This time I want to be the one who's chained up and spanked.



Spock: What are you doing under the table Jim?

Kirk: None of your damn business.



Korob: Abra-cadabra, I shall summon a pianist to entertain us.

Spock: Your pronounciation of the word pianist sounds a lot more like penis.

Kirk: Ah, so that explains why Sulu appeared.

 

You May be cool ... but you'll never be Spock-leaning-against-a-castle-wall-in-irons-cool

 

Spock: Captain, what is the purpose of putting the golf ball and tee into my shoulder?

 

McCoy (thinking): "With a small handful of these I could pay off all that back child support and finally get the ex-wife off my back for good."

.

 

McCoy: Didn't we have three red shirts following us?
Kirk: Wow, even for us that many in a half-hour is pretty bad.
Spock: Agreed.

 

New Contest has begun!