TOS Caption Contest #297: Intensity

[Alter Ego]

Anan 7: Bring out the Gimp.

Guard: I think the Gimp's sleepin'.

Anan 7: Well, I guess you'll just wake 'em up then, won't you?

 

[Triskelion]

Chekov: Does anyone else's helmet smell like soiled undervear?
Scotty: EVA systems check. Mister Spock?
Spock: Check.
Scotty: Doctor McCoy?
Bones: Check.
Scotty: Chekov?
Chekov: Check.
Scotty: Oxygen check. Mister Spock?
Spock: Check.
Scotty: Doctor McCoy?
Bones: Check.
Scotty: Chekov?
Chekov: Check.
Scotty: Surname check. Commander Spock?
Spock: Check.
Scotty: Leonard - McCoy?
Bones: Check.
Scotty: Pavel?
Chekov: Chekov.
Scotty: Nationality check. Mister Spock: Vulcan?
Spock: Check.
Scotty: Doctor McCoy: America?
Bones: Check.
Scotty: Chekov: Russia?
Chekov: Check.
Scotty: Chekoslovakia.
Chekov: Negative. Russia.
Scotty: I said Russia.
Chekov: Check.
Scotty: Chekoslovakia.
Chekov: Russia.
Scotty: Russia.
Chekov: Check.
Scotty: Chekoslovakia....
Spock: We seem to be caught in a transporter loop...

...75 years later....

Scotty: Cash or credit?
Bones: Check.
Scotty: Carry on luggage?
Spock: Check.
Scotty: Can I interest you in some dessert?
Chekov: Check.
Scotty: Preferred kilt pattern?
Bones: Check.
Scotty: Favorite 3D chess move?
Spock: Check.
Chekov: This is getting ridiculous.
Scotty: And finally, helmet. Mister Spock?
Spock: Check.
Scotty: Helmet, Doctor McCoy?
Bones: Check.
Scotty: Changing room hamper, Chekov?
Chekov: Che - Hey!
Engineer: Tee hee! That one never gets old.

 

[Crazy Eddie]

Chekov: "Zis thing... zis... facebook.... it just goes on and on forever! Vone endless stream of inanities!"

Sulu: "I kinda like it. Been thinking about signing up for a while."

 

[Rat Boy]

Anan 7: "Who is this 'Baba Booie' you keep shouting about?"

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Takei: "Biting your knuckle to denote tension? You had Professor Jamison for Acting 101, didn't you."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: This is the worst DJ console I've ever seen. No wonder Eminian rap is so dull.

 

[Armored Saint]

KIRK: What the hell? Four soundmen behind the console, but only two dancers?

 

[Triskelion]

I warned them not to ask Scotty a question about whisky....

 

[Avro Arrow]

Kirk: Mister Scott, execute General Order 24!
Scott (over comm): Aye sir, beaming cases of beer to your location now.
Kirk: No, Scotty, that's General Order Two-Four! I need General Order 24: send me Jack Bauer!

 

[LeadHead]

New Contest!