TOS Caption Contest #292: Day of the Caption

[Maurice]

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Danke!

KIRK: They filled my spitoon? This means war!

SULU: Rumor is Scotty's "Claymore" is really a "short sword", if you get my drift.
SCOTTY: I heard that!

KIRK: And you'll stay on duty until all these walls are clean!

KANG: No wonder we can't control the ship... this is just a Lite Brite set!

STAR TREK, brought to you by Pepsodent. A Pepsodent smile can be seen clear across the galaxy!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Kang: "I'm Klingon. You're human. Usually, we're mortal enemies."
Kirk: "That's right, Kang. But there's one thing we can both agree on. This televised version of 'Vulcan Love Slave'!"
Spock: "T'Pring?!!!"

 

[Nerys Myk]

KANG: Why can't I find the score to the game on this thing??

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

"...and G'mtok hits a grounder to left...K'vak picks it up, throws to second, he tags ...DOUBLE PLAY! Wait a minute...G'mtok doesn't agree with the call! He's calling the umpire a petaQ! And G'mtok's charging the mound...he's got his mek'leth out...and he's disemboweled the pitcher!"

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Scotty, stay here and watch over the droids. Vader is here! I must face him ― alone."

"Aye, Sir."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KANG: Uh, everything's under control. Situation normal.

UHURA: What happened?

KANG: [getting nervous] Uh, we had a slight weapons malfunction, but uh... everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here now, thank you. How are you?

UHURA: We're sending a squad down.

KANG: Uh, uh... negative, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak, very dangerous.

UHURA: Who is this? What's your operating number?

KANG: Uh...

[destroys console]

 

[Rat Boy]

Kang: "The droid! It is a soccer ball!"

 

[Triskelion]

Sulu: Why don't the stormtroopers just shoot at their feet under the door?
Scotty: Aye, ye've a clear shot, laddies!

 

[f14peter]

KANG: "there are literally hundreds and thousands of blinking, beeping, and flashing lights, blinking and beeping and flashing - they're *flashing* and they're *beeping*. I can't stand it anymore! They're *blinking* and *beeping* and *flashing*! Why doesn't somebody pull the plug!"

ANSARA: "So Bill, I heard this turkey's going to be cancelled, and that Leonard actually thinks he has a shot at a Mission: Impossible! gig. That's hilarious."

SHATNER: "Yea Mike, can you believe him. He even told me it's a dream of his to direct movies! Hehehehehehe"

NIMOY: "Funny! So Mike, tell me again how those I Dream Of Jeannie and Gunsmoke guest appearances are catapulting you to super stardom? And Bill? I'll bet I direct movies before you, and they'll be more popular!"

SHATNER: "Dream on Leonard, I can out-direct you any day of the week, you'll see!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Kang: "Ah ha, Mr. Scott's personal folder. I bet the information we seek is here...what in the?"

Krant: "...is that...?"

Kang: "Quick, how do I turn this off? OFF, DAMN YOU, OFF!"

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kang: Wait a minute! Where's Siri?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KANG: They only brew light beer. Truly, Starfleet is without honor.

 

[tharpdevenport]

Kang: "What the fuck is up with all the fucking swords? We're on a Federation vessel -- they have friggin' hand phasers! Son of a bitch! Kang to K'Tanco, what the fuck is up with all the fucking sowrds?! Blow those out the airlock! You're all a bunch of spaceballs, you know that don't you?"

 

[huskers57]

Kang: "Damage control is easy... diagramming English sentences... that's hard!"

 

[Triskelion]

Kang: Let's take all the hamburger stickers off their registers!

 

[Triskelion]

Kang: I can't believe how long this queue is for 'Janice Does Jupiter Station.'

 

[Ithekro]

We have found the master control panel! Now, where are the model trains!?

 

[Nerys Myk]

KANG: Okay, it's decided. We'll meet at the Taco Bell in the food court in two hours.

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kang: Radio Shack has no honor!

 

[doubleohfive]

You may not have truly experienced Hamlet until you've read it in the original Klingon, but the Klingon adaptation of The Magnificent Seven left a lot to be desired.