TOS Caption Contest #279: Captionpaw

[LeadHead]

Hello everyone, lets get to the winners!

First up to the plate, we have the "Many Bothans were sent to the disintegration machines to gather this information" Award, going to:

EMINIAN LACKEY: There's a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port.

Next, we have the "User Error" Award, going to:

UHURA: Did someone just launch all of our photon torpedoes?

Next, we have the "Proper Analysis" Award, going to:

Captain, you are correct. This is not rich Corinthian leather.

Next, we have the "Diplomatic Incident waiting to happen" Award, going to:

Kirk: Ambassador Gaga, we've been ordered to escort you to Starbase 47...

Next, we have the "AKA: the Lets not try to kill the people around us section" Award, going to:

Anon: "Excuse me, gentlemen, can you help us? We're looking for the non-smoking section."

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Scotty: "Doctor, you've got to stop tapping the cargo bay door release!"

Uhura (to yeoman) :"Didn't we have a crew stacking supplies in there?"

Many thanks to everyone who participated! Congrats to our winners!

And now, in honor of Halloween coming up this week, Trek's Halloween episode!

Enjoy!

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: What are they saying Lieutenant?

Uhura: They say that we're 200 light years outside of their delivery area.

Kirk: Options, Mister Spock?

Spock: I am afraid we will be forced to eat frozen pizza for dinner tonight.

Kirk: Why can't we ever go anywhere nice?

Scotty: I know it was you who drank my Aldeberan Whiskey!

Shatner: So why are we calling McCoy "Doc" and not "Bones" this episode... oh, right.

Spock: Captain, when I said the shuttlecraft was right on top of us, I was not exaggerating.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

TFTW, Evil Lincoln!

Kirk: "Look on the bright side, Mr. Spock. If we'd ended up in here a few months earlier, it'd probably be pretty ripe in here."

 

[Nerys Myk]

SPOCK: Why do I feel I'm in a Hair Club For Men commercial?

SHATNER: Jimmy. George. Let's not be hasty. I'm sure we can throw a few more lines your way

KIRK: Disconnected?

UHURA: Sorry, that's what the recording said sir.

KIRK: I wish I had his metabolism

KIRK: That's the second biggest pussy I've ever seen.

 

[Avro Arrow]

In the original timeline, Kirk took one look at the new "Lens Flare Generators" and had them ordered off the ship.

Kirk: I'd still hit that.

 

[CorporalCaptain]

Kirk: Bones?

Spock: He's dead, Jim.

 

[Triskelion]

Spock: That ship is swerving into our lane.
Kirk: Um, HELLOOOO?!!!
Uhura: Check out this motherf*cker.
Spock: Fascinating.

Kirk: What is it Spock? A volcano? A lava flow?
Spock: An al-anon meeting.
Bones: Beam me up, Scotty.
Kirk: Ha, catchy.

Kirk: You said there would be girls at your birthday party?
Spock: This is a total sausage fest.
Scotty: They'll be here.
Bones: That's what you said last year.

Kirk: Come here often?
Spock: Oh here we go.

Kirk: Why is that pizza on the roof?
Walter White: I got high on my own supply.
Spockface: Never get high on your own supply.

 

[Maurice]

Thanks for the win!

UHURA: I'm detecting a signal from the planet Preplanis.
KIRK: On audio, Lieutenant.
DR. SMITH'S VOICE: What "I" have done? Now you listen to me, you ungrateful wretch. You will erase that from your memory banks. He must never know we were responsible.
KIRK: No intelligent life there.
SPOCK: Indeed.

KIRK: Where's the candy? You said this planet was Halloween.
SPOCK: The word was "harrowing".

KIRK: Okay, fine, you can wear a blue shirt when we meet the murderous natives. Now put the phaser away.

KIRK: I heard Droxine was thin, but really, Spock...

KIRK: Look at the size of that thing.
SPOCK: The Great Bird of the Galaxy's droppings are, indeed, impressive.

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Scotty: "Just a moment! How do I know you're the real captain? Queen to queen's level 3!"
Kirk: "Oh, Christ, not again."
McCoy: "That encounter with those shapeshifters did a real mindf**k on him, Jim."

 

[Nerys Myk]

KIRK: There's a bunch of lights and scaffolding up there!

 

[Jonas Grumby]

Shatner: "My God! Is that my Corvette suspended up there?!"
Nimoy: "Payback's a bitch, Bill."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"Scotty ... Sulu ... listen to reason. Listen to me: STAR TREK's like a car, with me,
your Captain, as the driver, with Spock and Bones in the front seat and you two as
the backseat drivers! You should be thanking us - because this way, you at least
have jobs! Nobody's going to want to watch the Scotty/Sulu Hour! Come on, fellas."

 

[2takesfrakes]

"OK, Spock ... let us know when you've zipped your fly."

 

[Avro Arrow]

In this rare scene from the never-completed sequel to The Enemy Within, Kirk confronts his ego.

 

[Noname Given]

The atmosphere of planet Cannabis420 was having an intoxicating effect on the entire landing party. Kirk also had a major case of 'the munchies'.

 

[spockboy]

This isn't mine, but it's awesome...

 

[Mistral]

Thanks for the win!-Mistral

Spock: "Captain, please don't fart again."

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

Spock: "Captain, did I hear the two of you speaking... Vulcan?"
Kirk: "It's Pentecost, Spock."

 

[Mr. Laser Beam]

Kirk: Poor soul. He died waiting for the next TOS caption contest.

 

[BoredShipCapt'n]

Kirk: Poor soul. He died waiting for the next TOS caption contest.

Spock: I don't suppose it has occurred to you, Captain, that we may soon be joining him?