TOS Caption Contest #208: Weightloss Tips

[Rat Boy]

Kirk: "This had better be important, Spock. You caught me on my way to my morning masturbation session."

Spock (after placing hand on head): "Forget."

 

[LeadHead]

Kirk: Okay I know you're going for this whole "Creepy, scary planet" Thing. But couldn't you have conjured up dates for both of us?

 

[Rat Boy]

Was messing around in STO last night and thought this might work for here:

Duclare: "My eyes are over here, jackass."

Mason: "How in the hell does she even know?"

 

[LeadHead]

Duclare: "My eyes are over here, jackass."

Mason: "How in the hell does she even know?"

Duclare: The display panel is reflective. I can also see that you forgot to zip your fly again.

 

[Rat Boy]

Duclare: "My eyes are over here, jackass."

Mason: "How in the hell does she even know?"

Duclare: The display panel is reflective. I can also see that you forgot to zip your fly again.

Kirk: "Man, the future sure is rough."

McCoy: "I take it you'll also be wanting sunglasses in your prescription, Jim?"

Kirk: "Get me the darkest lenses you can possibly find."

 

[Ryan Thomas Riddle]

Kirk: Hermaphrodictic porn, Bones. Bros with bones that put yours to shame.

 

[Gary7]

Mason: "It just feels a bit strange... the bridge is so vast, like 3 times the size it was in our orientation sessions. We could have a major rock concert in here!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Hall: "I've downloaded the tactical data. You should see how powerful these phasers are."

Duclare: "I've also recorded their historical archives. You should see what happens to the Klingons."

Mason: "And I upper-decked the French guy's toilet and pissed in his fish tank. Our work here is done; let's get back to the 23rd Century."

 

[Gary7]

Bat Girl: "Alright Garth, you villain, it's time you've stopped your criminal ways!"

Director: "Cut! Yvonne, what the hell are you doing?"

 

[The Squire of Gothos]

Korob; "Simon did not say eat Mr Spock, ZZZZZZZZAAAP!"

 

[Rat Boy]

Chapel: "Mr. Spock, about that night we spent in your quarters; I've been talking with Dr. McCoy and it turns out I may be..."

*click*

Kirk: "Something wrong, Spock?"

Spock: "She left me no choice. I used the iPhone Death Grip."

 

[tharpdevenport]

Scotty: "Excuse me, laddie -- do you have any grey poupon?"

Kirk: To himself, "I can't believe it's not butter..."

Spock: "Where's the beef?"

 

[Nerys Myk]

MARTA (venomously): You're in luck, the manager would love to speak with you as well.

 

[Nerys Myk]

FRANK N FURTER: How d'you do, I see you've met my faithful handyman
He's just a little brought down because when you knocked
He thought you were the candyman.
Don't get strung out by the way that I look,
Don't judge a book by its cover
I'm not much of a man by the light of day,
But by night I'm one hell of a lover

I'm just a Sweet Transvestite from Transexual, Transylvania.

So let me show you around, maybe play you a sound
You look like you're both pretty groovy
Or if you want something visual that's not too abysmal
We could take in an old Steve Reeves movie.

KIRK: I'm glad we caught you at home, could we use your phone?
We're both in a bit of a hurry.
We'll just say where we are, then go back to the car
We don't want to be any worry.

 

[mrsmica]

Aw, am I not allowed to post images because I'm a forum newb? When I tried to quote the OP the image links vanished and my captioning was ruuuuuuuuiiiined.

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Marta: "It's not easy being green."
Al Gorn: "No shit lady!"

 

[Gary7]

Spock: (about to get up) "Captain, if you'll excuse me..."
Kirk: "Wait, Spock. Mr. Gorn, you don't have anything on the menu, anything at all that is vegetarian?"
Gorn: "Earthlings, our slogan is 'all the meat you can eat.' What did you expect?"

 

[TrickyDickie]

Garth: "Dammit Marta, if you sing 'Gorn In The U.S.A.' one more time, I'm gonna have to kill you!"

Marta: "Yeah, well who the hell do you think you are, Garth Brooks?"

Garth: "Give me a second and I can be...."

 

[Nerys Myk]

AL GORN: If the rest of your party doesn't show up soon, we're gonna have to move you to a smaller table.

 

[Nerys Myk]

MARTA: Mother,tell this clown, I'm not adopted! I'm as much a Gorn as you are! I just have a skin condition!

Mother?

Mom?

TIPPER GORN: um....er....uhh...