TOS Caption Contest #197: No, Seriously

[Rat Boy]

Too busy tomorrow and Sunday, so we're breaking out a new caption contest a day early. It's the Early Bird Special for...

Maybe next time Spock should try beer goggles...

"Fascinating, even wearing these rose-colored glasses I still find you bitchy."

You know, maybe Scotty should stop playing with sharp things. Someone could get hurt...

Kirk: "So... this misplaced aggression against women that you say you don't have..."

I get the feeling that the big kiss scene was just to convince Shatner to be in the rest of it...

Shatner: Can I kiss Nichelle yet?

And let's get funky with our Photoshop winner...

Carl And The Family Spock.
Sometimes I'm right then I can be wrong
My own beliefs are in my songs
A butcher, a banker, a drummer and then
Makes no difference what group I'm in
I am everyday people

There is a blue one who can't accept
The green one for living with
a fat one tryin' to be a skinny one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby

Ooh sha sha
We gotta live together

I am no better and neither are you
We're all the same whatever we do
You love me you hate me
You know me and then
You can't figure out the bag I'm in
I am everyday people

There is a long hair
That doesn't like the short hair
For being such a rich one
That will not help the poor one
Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on scooby dooby dooby

Ooh sha sha
We got to live together

There is a yellow one that won't
Accept the black one
That won't accept the red one
That won't accept the white one

Different strokes for different folks
And so on and so on and
Scooby dooby dooby
Ooh sha sha
I am everyday people

Congratulations to the winners. This week, McCoy's incredulous, Helen Noel's jealous, and the happy couple debates using "'Til death do us part" in their vows. Have fun:

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "What the...? It looks like a bathroom mat on that kid's head."

*Chekov runs off and cries*

Kirk: "Must you keep doing that to the navigators?"

Adams: "Hey, look, being trapped in this loony bin for weeks on end, you'd become an alcoholic, too."

Martine: "The phaser seal's loose."

Tomlinson: "How do you know?"

Martine (thinking): "Because I loosened it.

 

[ItsGreen]

Angela, stop that! We've waited this long,
we can wait another 24 hours until after the wedding.
It's not like I'm gonna get killed in phaser coolent leak or something!

 

[Gary7]

McCoy: "He's a Vulcan. His ears are far more sensitive than ours. So despite your whispering, he heard everything you just said about him."

Chekov: (OS) "Oh, no..."
*Chekov runs off sobbing in hysterics*

Adams: "Yeah, I'm tossing in the towel and opening up an art gallery instead. What do you think? Cheese and crackers anyone?"

Tomlinson: "You see, when you push this button..." (yadda, yadda, yadda...)

Angela: (thinking) Oh my... I don't think he used any deodorant today. Can't breathe!

 

[ItsGreen]

Captain, a few moments in the treatment room and I can make you forget
that your man-boobs are almost as large as Helen's.

 

[Gary7]

Adams: (whispering) "Helen, I'll have you know that I'm much more well endowed than your captain... Why don't you stick around for a while?"

Kirk: "I heard that!"

 

[Itisnotlogical]

McCoy: You don't have to come and confess. We lookin' fo' you. We gonna find you.

Kirk: I'd thought I misplaced my broken comm antenna...

Noel: No. It's modern art.

Officer: And you see, Ensign Troi, THIS is what you do if you're the only person left to take the helm. You see, 70% of crash landings can be prevented by pressing this button...

Deanna's Ancestor: (not paying attention)

 

[Timewalker]

Tomlinson: Angela, I had the most disturbing dream last night - I died, and you ran off to a shore leave planet with Esteban Rodriguez. You were both scared and running away from something, and you weren't watching where you were going, and ran right into a tree!

Angela: Ooh, that's terrible!

(thinking) Esteban Rodriguez? Wonder if the man's as sexy as his name sounds...

 

[Jonas Grumby]

McCoy: "Calm yourself, Tonya! I was not telling Spock about what we did on the Amusement Park Planet! However, you pretty much just did!"

Adams: "Actually, I invited Lethe here for Helen, Captain. I'm a pretty good judge of people. Or have I misinterpreted that look you've been giving me ever since you first arrived?"

Martine: "What crappy luck! We should be in bed making hot monkey love right now instead of manning these phaser controls!"
Tomlinson: "Would you hate me if I admitted I find this more fun?"

 

[The Laughing Vulcan]

Thanks for the win!

McCoy: "Blah blah medical... blah blah shore leave... blah blah Dammit Jim! blah blah..."

Spock thinking: "Mmmm, plomeek soup..."

Kirk: "Make a note Dr Noel. Recommend to Starfleet that the Delta shirt logo be replaced by the nipple tweak logo..."

Tomlinson: "So, how about you and me go down to the arboretum after our shift? We can..."

Intercom: "Tomlinson report to the transporter room for landing party duty... and bring your red shirt."

Tomlinson: "Oh crap!"

 

[Rat Boy]

McCoy: "She tried to what?!"

Spock: "Told you that cat was trouble."

Adams: "Do you like it?"

Kirk: "What's it called?"

Adams: "It's 'Vajayjay with a bunch of leaf things.' Sorry, I'm good at art, not coming up with creative names."

Tomlinson: "Angela, no wonder the phasers look like photon torpedoes; you keep pushing the wrong button!"

 

[Gil T.Azell]

McCoy: "Good God I didn't know she could do that with her legs?!"

Spock: "Fascinating"

Adams: "Feed her some of this captain and those puppies will be out in no time"

All Three: "Ahem!"

Adams: "Inside voice, inside voice"

Martine: (thinking) I know about those two Orion Hookers

Tomlinson: "What?"

Martine: "You Know"

 

[Isis]

McCoy: "She tried to what?!"

Spock: "Told you that cat was trouble."

Kirk (OS): "Nah, couldn't be. Must be her evil twin."

 

[Gary7]

McCoy: "Jim, you mean to say that after all this time you haven't noticed... the pattern?"

Kirk looks confused

Spock: "The red shirt crewmen fatalities. On almost every away mission."

Kirk's face turns white

Kirk: "Have I met lately, what?"

Adams: "No, no... Lethe. The blank look lady who just came in."

 

[Isis]

Angela: "Do background checks on each other? Yah right. Like it's going to show that I have a whole other secret identity or something."

 

[Isis]

McCoy: "Jim, casual Friday doesn't mean pants optional."

Spock (to self): "If nothing else, this misguided endeavor of the Captain's has shown me I have nothing to worry about."

 

[Noname Given]

McCoy: "That's what she said!"

Spock:"Indeed."

 

[Smellincoffee]

McCoy: Really, Jim? With all four genders?
Spock: I had no idea you regarded Andorians so highly.

 

[Captain Crow]

McCoy: Good lord! Sulu is dressed up as Carmen Miranda!

 

[Isis]

Tomlinson: "Martine? Teller? Which is it?"

Angela: "I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you."